loneranger asks:

brent are u joking about the foot fetish? and hey didnt know u had MULTIPLE girlfriends. not bad, not bad at all.

SO I’VE SUCKED A FEW TOES in my past, is that such a big fucking deal? Is it a fucking crime, dude? So I like giving a few fucking foot rubs before we get to penetration. So I get moderately aroused when I see some chick’s feet in fancy sandals. So my idea of porn is a fucking girl all soaped up in a bathtub shaving her legs – and this is the important part – with her toes pointed. I just don’t see what the big fucking deal is. Does it make me a freak? Should I be on a fucking sex offender list? It’s fucking 2011, man. The world is changing, and how we make love is changing with it.

Nah I’m just fuckin with ya.

On Monday I did some snatching off of boxes, bar a few inches below knee, didn’t do as well as I wanted. Probably could have done better if I took smaller jumps but time was limited. C+Jed up to 275lbs though, which was fine.

Today I clean-and-pressed 165lbs for 5, 5, 5, 4, which is OK. Front squat 355lbs x 2, 365lbs x 1, 355lbs x 2, which could have been better – taking 365lbs for a double would have made this like a 4/10. Some weighted ring dips, +85lbs x 3, finished up with lat raises and barbell curls.

I’m off for the next three days, more than likely I’ll be doing the oly lifts for the next 3 days with some squats, deads, and benching mixed in there. It’s fine.

Rintintin asks:

Brent, why you no share shirtless pic with us?
You share shirtless pic with http://ohgodsheslookingatmebetterjuststicktosquatting.wordpress.com/

I’m sorry but that shit isn’t free. If you want semi-nudes you’ll have to sign up for one of my camshows. Payment’s either through Paypal or you can purchase a minimum value of $25 off my Amazon wishlist. I don’t know what kind of guy you think I am but I don’t just fucking go around flexing, rubbing oil on myself, and administering self-inflicted discipline spanks for charity like some kind of skank. I’ve got class. It’s called a private and discreet billing service. Next time don’t call me unless you’ve got your fucking debit card ready.

really lonely guy says

wow BRENT I did not know your love life was so colorful. I guess I’ll dig a hole and cry in it by myself now.

Sarcasm? Dude I may as well be a fucking virgin. I’ve also regressed socially a few steps recently. I used to make a conscious effort to talk to more girls throughout the day – like when I asked that one chick at the gym in Denton, “So what’s your sign?” Now I just can’t. Like that one real cute that talked to me at Starbucks, I haven’t gone back to that Starbucks since because the thought of talking with her again makes me nervous. It’s fine though. I’ll just write a poem about her lips on a piece of paper, then light it on fire and watch it curl into a dying ball of ash. My roommate will ask what are you doing it smells like smoke in here. I will say nothing it must be the space heater acting weird. I will hold it together long enough for him to leave the room and begin to sob. I will have to go to my bathroom and turn the faucet on, pretending to wash my face, as I desperately try to regain my composure so I can leave the apartment, tell him bye, and go PR my fucking clean-and-jerk.

SilentMachinery asks:

Do you normally squat without a belt? Or were you trying to show off abdoms through the Misc shirt?

Yeah I haven’t worn my belt in a few months now. BRB lifting more without a belt than I ever did when I wore one at a higher bw.

SWOLLE MOFO asks:

I agree with JC that this blog sure has a lot of grade A organic assholes commenting on it. on the other hand, those squats look pretty good. HIGH BAR/LOW BAR hybrid? sure looked like it brent. put another 100 pounds on your squat triple and gain about 6-10 pounds of muscle on your lower body and you might just bring some hope for the USA weighlifting team in the 77 kg class

Can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or not, if you are it’s fine, I’ll just be the guy lying in bed staring up at the ceiling wondering what it’s like to be as cool and admired as Justin Lascek.

The video that dave linked quite frankly can’t be ignored:

I’m proud to say I wouldn’t get along with any of the people in that video.

“Hey Brent, how was your Thanksgiving?”

Let me just say that my dad isn’t opposed to eating at the same restaurant for BOTH lunch and dinner in the same day. Let me also say that he has no problem with asking the waiter to take multiple family pictures on BOTH occasions. Or asking the yogurt servers in the place next door for MORE family pictures. It was fine though.

Over the past couple of days I’ve:

– back squat 415lbs x 3
– snatched up to 235lbs
– c+jed 265lbs, cleaned 275lbs
– snatch-grip DL 355lbs x 5
– benched 270lbs x 3
– back squat 390lbs x 5
– weighted ring dips with +85lbs x 2

Benching 270lbs x 3 would be a lifetime PR. Another 5lbs and I’ll be benching high school football team warm up sets. It’s fine. The ring dips were pretty hard at +85lbs. Going to 85lbs was pretty lame, I used a 35lbs bumper and two 25lbs plates to get to it as every other permutation was not that great. It will be nice to get to an even 90lbs since I can just use the two 45lbs for that.

Rolled glutes and high hamstrings with a lacrosse ball, squatting feels pretty good the past couple days. Thom noted that I could have done a better job with knees out though.

some fucking guy writes:

wait Brent you had a gf before? Just seemed like you made it out to be you were single and lonely all your life. Looks like you’re doing a lot better than many guys out there…

I’ve had a couple gfs/relationships before. It’s hard to consider that they are relevant though. BRB high school doesn’t count. BRB one girl messed around with me and was emotionally dependent and whatnot but made it a point to clarify I was not her BF (for the entirety of the six months we were involved). BRB last gf was long-distance i.e. it may as well have been fucking imaginary. Hey Brent how did you spend time with your long-distance girlfriend when you weren’t visiting each other oh just awkward phone sex and conversations about how our day went. It’s fine.

becky writes:

i love that you friend zoned me before i had the chance to friend zone you. so you got to see what it’s like being on the other side of the equation. how does it feel to be the zone creator? how does it feel to interact with me, as a lady, and not get your tighty whities all in a bunch? how does it feel to not have to worry that you’ll spend the rest of your day walking around with crust in your shorts cuz you got nervous and accidentally squirted?

Honestly? Honestly? HONESTLY? – I feel like a fucking human being for once. BRB don’t have to worry about feelings BRB can talk to a girl without huge spikes in cortisol BRB not going home and staring at the wall wondering why she doesn’t like me trying not to cry while listening to Radiohead. Thanks for being my friend Becky.

Thom writes:

Becky is a harlot.

Bite your tongue, Thomas Vale.

Pressed 185lbs x 2, then another single. I could have pressed this for more reps. Thom Vale, feel free to troll me in the comments.

Front squat 355lbs x 3, 2, 2. I could have done at least one more triple. It’s fine.

I did get in some good weighted ring dips @ +75lbs for a much more legit 5rm i.e. achieved lock-out on the last rep.

The real cute girl from Starbucks I mentioned a few posts ago made conversation with me.

“So are you off today?” she asked.

I told her no, I go to work at 3. I was ABSOLUTELY not prepared for this so I didn’t have a game face on. I imagine I looked real, real surprised. Like, I probably looked like she just caught me jerking off in my car. Which I was. It’s fine.

I asked her if she went to school or anything. She answered that she wasn’t this semester but was starting next. I asked, “So what do you wanna be when you grow up?” Honestly? Honestly? HONESTLY? – I was just struggling to not stammer like a virgin at this point.

I forgot what she answered with, it’s pretty irrelevant, my palms were gushing a lot of water and electrolytes at this point, I’m surprised I’m alive to write this. She told me to have a good day and I said thanks and drove away and never looked back.

I legit got ambushed, and I definitely would not have survived had it been live-fire. Special Forces is not in my future. PKM fire from multiple directions, it’s fine, I’ll cower behind this pile of rocks and merrily shovel myself a little hole to hide in. Achievement unlocked: Expert Shoveler’s Badge.

Bill writes:

Do you have any tips for getting the bar to rack better on a clean? I have off days where it seems like getting to the rack position is pretty stiff and I’m not receiving the bar to the shoulders properly. This also results in some wrist stress and a far less smooth second pull. Thanks for the help.

I do have some tips. Mobilitywod.com. You want to work on external rotation with shoulder in flexion. Joint approximation has some pretty legitimate effects on that almost immediately. The mob that Justin posted a while ago is also good (you can make it easier by standing on a chair, getting a wide grip first, THEN going overhead). I also thought soft-tissue mobbing of the external rotators and gristly bits around the medial scapular borders helped a lot; throw in double-lacrosse ball to t-spine as well for good measure. If you’re feeling adventurous, search mwod.com for “front rack” and have fun.

loneranger asks:

brent do u have the goal of a 350 clean in ur mind in the near future? or right now its just about flexing in the mirror and getting more attention from guys than girls…no joke though. seems like jacked guys get more dudes in the gym to approach them rather than girls, maybe the jacked arms and delts are just too much for the female race.

You would be correct in assuming that soffes, tank, and flexing in the mirror gets you more attention from guys than girls. More guys have cold-approached me at the gym – wait, let me take that back, ONLY guys have cold-approached me at the gym, ever. Well OK, one time this trashy-looking older lady praised me for back squatting 355lbs but I don’t really count that one.

I would like to c+j 350lbs in the future, I can’t really predict when it’s gonna happen though. I could if I ran a cycle of nandrolone.

Brian, who is Asian, asks:

So I noticed you were around 175-180ish before (I think). Did you mostly eat paleo to drop weight? And did you cut out rice?

Brian first let me say that while I hate most Asians, you seem like an OK guy. Do you have a fobby accent? We can still be friends if you do, I just need to know.

I actually cut weight before I even took Paleo seriously. I ate a lot of chicken and broccoli and used a George Foreman grill to eat chuckeye, ground beef patties, and the occasional 8 or 9oz filet mignon. I eventually transitioned to carb-cycling on training and non-training days with mainly rice but also ate sandwiches, breakfast foods like pancakes/waffles (strictly for breakfast mind you), and various kinds of Asian take-out. Just so we’re clear, I was cutting weight because I had a girlfriend at the time and I wanted her vag to get wet when she saw me naked. After I didn’t have a girlfriend I kept carb-cycling because I now had nothing better to do than flex in the mirror.

I recomped a little more when I ate basically (grain-fed) beef and sweet potatoes 50-75% of the time and some kind of high-carb food (pre-workout). Then I recomped even more when I started eating grass-fed beef. My training also sucked initially during these phases because when I cooked more I was eating less total calories per day. I’ve re-titrated my cooking/eating though so I’m not walking around at sub-160lbs on accident now.

I still eat rice, boba tea, and Starbucks coffee. Saul hates me for it. It’s fine.

becky writes:

hey brent, honey darling, please answer these three questions.
1. will you eat some of the paleo sweet potato pie i will be making for thanksgiving? it will feature the fetus-sized sweet potatoes we got at the farmers market and crushed up pecans and hazelnuts mixed with local raw honey.
2. will you eat some of the bacon wrapped pears i will be baking? they are like meat candy. i can use the slankers bacon saul ordered for me. if you like, i can make them crispy or soft. however you like your bacon.
3. will you eat some of the sausage and chinese yam hash i will be frying up? i will use the slankers sausage saul ordered for me and my very special purple chinese yams. and i will top it off with organic cinnamon, of course.
ok bye.

Yes, yes, yes. I would like to try both crispy and soft for the bacon-wrapped pears. Or whichever you recommend. The sweet potato pie sounds really fucking good oh god.

Benched 245lbs for 5, 5, 4, 3 on Friday. Was OK. Better than last time. Could have done more reps. Could have done more exercises this workout.

On Saturday night I:

– power snatched and snatched from the hang up to 200lbs, snatched + snatched from the hang up to 215lbs.
– cleaned 265lbs
– high-bar back squat 415lbs x 1, 365lbs x 5
– clean pulled 350lbs x 3
– weighted chins, +75lbs x 4
– barbell rowed 225lbs
– reverse hypers, curls

Could have c+jed more and squat 415lbs for more reps. I’ve been neglecting back squat volume and should prob do some of that next week.

VPVG called me at work today so if she’s read the blog she doesn’t care. Or, she forgot about looking up the blog to begin with, which is more likely, and is fine. While I was on the phone with her I looked down and saw that my scrub pants were on inside-out, and I was six hours into the shift. No one noticed except for one girl at the front desk, who didn’t mention it to me because she thought I wanted them that way. I guess I give the impression that I’m some Napoleon Dynamite fuck head carrying tots in his fucking pockets.

Cristina said I am this guy because I like doing cam shows.

The Q&A is real fucking long today so

Read more »

I snatched 215lbs off of blocks below the knee on Wednesday, cleaned 265lbs and missed the jerk. This happened in less than 30mins.

On Thursday (today) I snatched 230lbs and c+jed 265lbs, successfully this time. This happened in about 30mins as well. I hit 245lbs, 335lbs, 385lbs, and 415lbs x 2 high-bar in under 10 minutes. I could have gotten to the gym earlier. I could have squat more reps. I could have eaten more solid food post-workout (how much solid food did you eat post-workout, Brent? NO SOLID FOOD POST-WORKOUT. 50G PROTEIN SHAKE WITH 50G MALTODEXTRIN, DIDN’T EAT UNTIL 8 HOURS LATER. IT’S FINE.).

Saul, hours next week will be mostly regular, they will be closed Thanksgiving Day and the day after but otherwise mostly regular hours of operation. Honestly though, I wish I could get a pump in Thanksgiving Day before eating. I suppose I could bang out some weighted chins or pull ups in my room. Josh, could I come over for a workout?

gumbo asks:

Brent – where do you lift? Do they have a drop-in fee?
I’ll be in Dallas for Festivus and will need a location for furtive, sloppy power cleans.

Isystems Gym in Carrollton. Should be able to google it. It’s pretty cool. Let’s hang out man. Dallas is kind of a drive though, do you know where in Dallas you’ll be quartered?

Oldman writes:

I’m currently in South Korea so I’ll have to take a rain check on the boba tea. Maybe in a few weeks I’ll be back. I’ll train with you when I get back into town, but it has been a long lay off.

Bro, seriously? – if you just don’t want to hang out with me that’s fine, but don’t make up these fucking outlandish excuses for why you can’t and expect me to believe them. I’m a grown fucking man dude, I’ll be OK if you tell me you don’t want to hang. What, you don’t think I’ve been rejected before? You don’t think I can take brutal honesty? Nigga pls I was born rejected. Don’t fucking flatter yourself, you’re not giving me anything new.

Djay writes:

Hey brent, I actually have a legit question for you.
why’d you start squatting high bar instead of low bar? Because it’s more specific to olympic weightlifting or what?
That may seem like a stupid question but I just recall Rippetoe remarking that he thought olympic weightlifters could benefit from low bar as much as anyone else, and wondered what your experience has been.

lol lol lol

The OL community definitely gives a shit about where Rip thinks the bar should be positioned in a back squat. Go ahead. Why don’t you ask them. Go to the Arnold next year, walk up to someone like Glenn Pendlay and say, “Hey Glenn, don’t you think Jon North would total more if he moved the bar down his back two inches when he squats?” Seriously. Just ask him. Or you can talk to Kyle Pierce at LSUS Shreveport. You can say, “Hey Kyle Pierce, Rip says your athletes don’t deadlift enough. He says your athletes are in the business of lifting jelly-dick weight with aesthetically-pleasing grace and not in the business of just getting stronger.” Legit. Say it to him. Say it with a straight face. It’ll be worth it.

And honestly? Honestly? HONESTLY? – my personal experience has been that I haven’t low-bar back squat in a few months and I hit life-time PRs in the snatch and c+j after having not PRed in a pretty long time. BRB my posterior chain is wasting away because my hamstrings aren’t contracting isometrically to maintain my back angle. BRB if I press more my jerk will go up. BRB if I miss too many times squat snatching I should just split snatch (nevermind addressing gleno-humeral internal rotation deficit, that wouldn’t improve bar path or anything, nah you look great shuffling your feet snatching 30% less than your best 1rm).

I’m over it, man. The only people who care about this argument are on the SS boards and it’s a shrinking universe over there.

CMOENY WRITES:

Radiohead is the greatest at getting a bunch of overly emo fans to proclaim them as the best band ever and a gift bestowed upon earth by God himself, sure.
They’re also the best at creating a bunch of dickless virgin dudes, too.
Though really, if you go to coffee shops daily, and you like radiohead, and you aren’t getting laid, you’re not telling enough people you like radiohead.

BRB HATING A BAND FOR THEIR FANS
BRB IGNORING THE DEPTH AND VERSATILITY OF THE ARTISTS
BRB HAVE YOU NOT FUCKING HEARD JOHNNY GREENWOOD GO HARD??????
BRB DENYING THAT “BULLETPROOF (I WISH I WAS),” “CREEP,” “SLOWLY,” “NO SURPRISES,” “TRUE LOVE WAITS” AND COUNTLESS OTHERS MAKE YOU WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF
BRB RADIOHEAD IS MY ONLY FRIEND (NEXT TO LINKIN PARK) YOU FUCK

No but really I can understand your viewpoint. I like them a lot though, I don’t know what you want me to do. One of their biggest things is the ambiguity of their lyrics means any fuck head piece of shit can say “this song was written for me and my life experiences,” I’m sorry that I need to feel like killing myself to function????

Hey guys,

I overhead pressed 165lbs for 4, 4, 5, 4, and 3 today. It is stupid that I got 5 reps on the 3rd set, I suspect that I was pushing some reps out in front on the first two sets which prob didn’t help my cause.

Tested my 1rm pull up and worked up to +75lbs and +90lbs.

Saul did a lot more:

Hit a sloppy +75lbs 3rm on ring dips, didn’t really achieve legit lockout on the third rep.

Did some barbell rows at 215lbs.

After that Saul, Becky, and I got a FAT fucking delt pump doing lateral and rear-delt raises. I also super-setted a few db hammer curls in there.

I was all up in this chick’s business today on accident. She was with a trainer doing some circuit bullshit. There is only one green resistance band which I like to use for my mobility shit and I saw it strung up on a cable cross-over. I started to take it down and the trainer slowed my roll real fast on that since they were using it for assisted pull ups. Later I was doing the best shoulder mob ever and I saw them standing nearby waiting for something mid-way through my set. I realized I was directly underneath the dip bar, which she had been using 5-10mins prior. I looked like a real piece of shit in soffes doing stupid stretches and fucking over this chick’s workout. BRB on the same level as the guy who walks ON your platform as you’re performing an oly lift.

Also met this dude who was doing some high-rep deadlifts. He was pretty OK, friendly, took some interest in Saul doing t-bar rows (real fucking seriously) –

– and seemed like an all right dude. I don’t think we set a very good first impression though because while we were just talking about where he used to train and his former experience at a shittier gym Saul got up because he was ready for our second set of synchronized rear-delt flyes so while he was in mid-sentence I clapped my hands and said “YOU GUYS READY? LET’S DO THIS” and the three of us proceeded to do rear-delt flyes, as if this set of db isolation movements SIMPLY COULD NOT WAIT.

beonick writes:

Brent, how much hentai do you watch a day?

I’m more of a lift-and-carry kind of guy.

oldman writes:

Brent lately there seems to be a lot of hate on here for you. None of these bro’s are posting their numbers and hide behind their keyboards. If you would ever like to discuss this in person we can meet up at the boba tea place nearest to you. I can be in my wrestling singlet from college (it fits a little tight now) or my lifting singlet. Your choice.

Why don’t we meet up? Would you like to train with us? Or vice versa, if we can drop-in at Authentic Strength (preferably for free, though I’d be willing to pay a drop-in if it was like less than $10. One of the coaches there def thinks I’m a loser piece of shit and I’m interested in reinforcing that). Either singlet would be fine for a boba tea setting – should I wear my singlet or is the soffe + tank OK?

Penn writes:

Lifting Platforms, Rings, Reverse Hyper, and Monolift at your gym?
Fuck you, Brent. Is anyone at that gym squatting over 600 out of the Mono?

It’s a great gym for powerlifters. Esp if you lift equipped. Seems like 50% of the people who go there pull like 600lbs+. The bumpers could be kilos and there could be at least one more platform but it’s pretty good otherwise than that. There could be less hot chicks there, that would help my anxiety quite a bit.

Ryan writes:

Are your hips always that high when you clean? That looked all back to me.

It probably was all back, if that’s unacceptable you may have to contact my customer service department.

cmoney, if you fucking have something to say about the greatest band of all time why don’t you fucking say it bro? I’m all ears man.

On Friday I benched 265lbs x 3 all reps paused, front squat 345lbs for two triples, and did weighted dips +65lbs for 4 and could not achieve lockout on the 5th rep. This was a pretty good workout, esp since I finished it in 45mins. If I had more time I would have gone after another set of front squats.

On Saturday I shoveled a lot of shit, which was disappointing since I was training with Becky and Saul. I missed 215lbs snatch a bunch and missed a 255lbs clean. I did some weighted chins though, +75lbs for a few sets of 3, some reps were better than others, and some bent over rows, 205lbs x 7 or so, so it was semi-productive. Just felt off, I can typically power snatch 195lbs and I had to squat snatch it, and my shoulders felt tight so going overhead didn’t feel great, my pull also didn’t feel right.

Today (Sunday) I did a lot better and managed to hit some PRs.

240lbs snatch is a +5lbs PR, 300lbs clean is a +10lbs PR. I had attempted a 290lbs c+j and missed the jerk behind, but the clean felt easy enough that I felt like hitting a PR there would be OK. My power snatches and power cleans also felt pretty good, I attempted PRs for both at 210lbs and 265lbs but couldn’t pull them high enough.

I also PRed my muscle snatches, which help with the snatch a lot more when I do them from the floor. I’ve been doing them from the hang until tonight. I worked up to 55k/120lbs x 3 then 135lbs x 1.

RDLed 350lbs x 6, 5, 5, did some curls and back extensions.

That dinner with all those chicks was canceled on Saturday, I’m over it. It’s fine, I haven’t been wanting to eat Salvadorian food for the past six fucking months or anything. I have an idea, why don’t I go by myself. Hi yes I’d like a table. For one please. No, in fact I don’t have any fucking friends who would like to join me to eat the food here. Yes, the secluded table in the corner’s fine – I wouldn’t want your other patrons to be disturbed by my fucking corpse after I’ve killed myself once I’m done eating alone for yet another night.

Something I’ve considered is that there are a lot of people I know IRL who may be reading this blog. It isn’t hard to find – if you google “brent kim blog” the main page and another post come up as the top two results. The blog’s also been officially compromised as of two weeks ago or so, when I was on the phone with VPVG and mentioned putting something on my blog as a joke.

VPVG: You DO have a blog don’t you?
Brent: What makes you think I have a blog.
VPVG: You just seem like the type of person who would have one. You have one! I’m going to find it.
Brent: OK YES I have a blog.
VPVG: *excited squeal* I’m going to find it. You can’t hide it from me.

There hasn’t been a restraining order yet so she’s either forgotten about it, is indifferent, or thinks it’s funny and tells her friends about the dickless virgin who writes haikus about how pretty she is and doesn’t have a life outside of flexing in the mirror and rubbing himself with lacrosse balls. I’ve come to terms with all of these outcomes. You can tell because I added +5lbs to my best snatch and +10lbs to my best clean. My angus is peppered.

Matt writes:

Carb load – bitches love the bloat. +1 for the chin session before hand. Might want to rub one out before hand so you can think straight and if by some chance you hug this girl you don’t poke her with your dick(maybe that will be a +/take ir or leave it) You’re welcome.

Matt you clearly slay a lot of pussy, do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

oldman writes:

I haven’t had it in years, but I don’t think there is anyway it’s paleo. I think Brent just goes to these beverage shops to check out chicks he’ll never talk to. Plus about 99% of the time the chicks working at the Boba place will be asian. Starbucks is where he goes when he wants to confront white/other race women.

re: the chicks, this is 100% correct.

I was at a grocery store and saw this cute chick in one of the check out lanes. I got in her line and she said “sir you can use one of the self-checkout lanes if you like, they are still open.” I said OK and checked myself out. This was analogous to my entire life.

That was SSG’s Salvatore Guinta’s recollection of how Bravo team fought out of an ambush. “We’re gonna throw grenades we’re gonna shoot we’re gonna run. We’re gonna throw grenades we’re gonna shoot we’re gonna run.” Seen Restrepo?

I admire problem-solving like that. Taking PKM fire from multiple directions at close range it’s fine. Disrupt enemy fire and reorganize. Secure the wounded, kill the fuck faces who might be trying to take off with one of your own.

Saw one of the prettiest girls at Starbucks I’ve ever met. Big brown eyes and full lips, Cupid’s bow. So pretty she hurt to look at. Didn’t talk to her. She stood near the drive-through window, with it open, so I could have talked to her if I wanted to. She was discussing tickets to some show with a friend and if they had secured other tickets. I could have asked her, “So do you like Taylor Swift?” Instead I quietly shoveled buckets of shit in my car listening to Radiohead. As she handed me the cold, perspiring glass, our fingers touched. I say to myself, We’re gonna throw grenades we’re gonna shoot we’re gonna run. I say, to her this time, thank you, and drive the fuck away.

Woke up late for training on Tuesday and Wednesday, ideally I would have done the oly lifts and at least some pulling. On Wednesday it would have been nice to front squat. Had 30 minutes to train so just did the oly lifts, snatched off of boxes, bar starting below the knee, worked up to 205lbs. C+jed 265lbs. Could have taken it or left it. I can see utility in snatching from the boxes and have done them before, though not with the bar starting from below the knee. Helps you think about waiting to shift the knees around the bar and hitting the pocket before extending. Pulls felt pretty straight off the box. Also, extending immediately into the second pull from a dead-stop, with the bar above the knees, and pulling the bar with less momentum from the first pull, with the bar below the knees, feels like it would be pretty good for training the pull violently.

There is a real pretty Vietnamese girl at this boba tea shoppe I go to. I have no idea how old she is. She could be 17 she could be 28, I just don’t fucking know. More than likely she’s in college since she’s working at this place in the AM/early afternoon. I see her a lot, she probably recognizes me, probably thinks I’m a fucking piece of shit because of the gay fucking t-shirts I wear and the soffes and tank and all the other bullshit I’m doing with my fucking life. She tolerates me. I briefly consider talking to her every time I go and immediately dismiss the idea once she makes eye contact with me. She hands me the cold, perspiring glass and our fingers touch. I nearly drop the tea. She hands me the straw and it takes me two grasping motions to actually secure it in my hand. We are losing control of the operation. She appears indifferent. I am perspiring heavier than the glass is. I puncture the sealed top of the drink and suck. Nearly choke on a tapioca pearl. Leave the boba tea shoppe coughing.

That didn’t really happen it’s fine.

Mark writes:

We should gchat about the fitness model chick this evening.

Don’t really want to talk about her.

Chris and oldman write:

Brent, I would advise that you skip the dinner Saturday and play SC2 instead, or watch the Pacquiao/Marquez fight with some dudes.

also there are UFC fights as well. How are you not invited to hang out with other bro’s to watch boxing or mma?

lol, “hey Brent, you don’t like going out, why don’t you go to a fucking BAR to eat shitty food and watch shit that you don’t care about surrounded by drunk assholes who are going to be making a big fucking deal out of it so you can’t even really hear what’s going on.” Hey guys, that sounds like a LOT of fun. Let me put that on my bucket list, right under “fall in love with a girl best friend, actually kiss her this time, then get dumped and spend the next five years of my life struggling to pull myself out of devastating depression.”

No but really – I don’t have any friends in DFW who are into that. The last time I went to a bar it was with Saul and Becky to watch the livestream of MLG, and when we got there they were playing recorded games just because Day[9] was commentating for them.

I’ve hung out with these chicks before, I enjoy myself. Also the food at this place we are going to is pretty legit.

Becky writes:

hey friend! i miss you. i was talking about you today with my classmates. so here’s how it started…

let me know if you could handle this and i’ll set it up.

We’re gonna throw grenades we’re gonna shoot we’re gonna run.

Becky and I discussed this, we’ll go hang out, I’m sure it’ll be fun. If it’s disastrous it’ll still be a good blog post. Guess I’ll pepper my angus. I’m not comfortable with being advertised as “funny” and “jacked” but I suppose I can just do a bunch of chin ups in my room before leaving to hang out so it’ll look like I’m wearing a swolo as opposed to a polo. I don’t know what I’m going to do about pretending to be a funny guy though.

I guess what I’m asking is, should I show up to this thing carb-depleted and dehydrated or what?

Over the past couple days I’ve

– snatched 215lbs from the hang <– I think this is a PR
– snatched 225lbs
– cleaned 290lbs <– matches lifetime PR
– high-bar back squat 405lbs x 3
– pressed 180lbs x 3 <– lifetime PR
– +65lbs x 4 weighted ring dips

brian writes:

this easily shits on frank yang’s xanga

:3

hamburgerfan writes:

Brent: the other day an attractive coworker told me that I seemed really innocent. Has that ever happened to you? What the fuck’s that supposed to mean? Should I fucking kill myself?

Definitely sounds like she was saying you seemed like you’ve never gotten your dick wet. Looking like a virgin isn’t something to kill yourself over but maybe work on having a less dopey smile and maybe act like you have the capacity to get an erection every once in a while. Also, if you really wanted to know what she meant, this would have been a perfect opportunity to shoot back “What the FUCK’S that supposed to mean?” You would have gotten an answer. And if you didn’t like it, you could have flexed in her face.

criedthefox writes:

this may be somewhere in your blog already, but where do you get your grass fed beef AND is it cheaper per pound compared to dick-fed beef bought at the local grocery?

I go to a grass-fed farm with Saul. Slanker’s Grass-Fed Meats. It may be a bit cheaper per lbs at this point? It’s been a while since I last checked at a grocery store but it seemed like ground beef was getting pretty close to $5.00 per lbs, at least at Tom Thumb which is where I typically get my stuff. (Tom Thumb is a chain of supermarkets in DFW). Either way I’m not going back to grain-fed meat. I shit better and grass-fed meat tastes significantly better than grain-fed. Also I love going on road trips with my BFF Saul to the farm.

I just published this post before I was done with it but it’s fine.

The super hot fitness model chick was at the gym while I was there with Saul and Becky one evening last week. She approached the three of us to ask Saul if he was still using a part of the Rogue rig for pull ups. I experienced acute adrenal fatigue from the almost-lethal exposure to her. If my lifts go down in the next couple days it’s from the spike in cortisol levels and subsequent depressed testosterone. Saul and Becky did not have much trouble interacting with her. I felt my heart rate jack up to about 180bpm any time she got too close and had to go take a lift. They suggested I ask her to go to Elevation Burger with us to have grass-fed hamburgers but it was pretty ezpz for me to think of about seven pretty good reasons to not ask her and instead shovel a lot of shit. Special Forces may not be in my future but I’ll be goddamned if I don’t get pinned with the Expert Shoveler’s Badge at some point in my life.

In another story of my fucking life, I’ve been invited out to a Saturday dinner at which I will be the only male. Everyone else will be female. I can’t say I’m surprised about this. The girl who invited me went so far as to say,

“Usually if there’s only one guy with a bunch of girls, it turns out he’s the gay one.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

So yeah, if you need me on Saturday night, call me – I’ll be the guy twiddling my fucking thumbs while the six girls I am sitting with are talking about their favorite articles of lingerie, sex, and why they would like to bone guys who AREN’T me. It’s actually not that bad. I have fun. I guess this is not helping the fact that they all think I suck a lot of fucking dick. <– this won't help the search engine terms that come to my site, which already mainly consist of "fat jiggly tits.gif" because of the post I did a while back on fat vs. big boobs.

Imagine who I am without movement. I am particulate mass rotting away, dying like senescent plant matter. What does it mean to move?

Quantum mechanics states that all particles exhibit both particle and wave properties. I am rays. This is what I feel with knee flexion and full plantar flexion. I am bands. Find the ones that hurt the most. What does it mean to hurt? Test, re-test. What is a few degrees of knee flexion worth to me?

When she was gone, I felt nothing. I am ice.

What should pain mean to an organism?

She walks away and I watch. This is what I will remember of her; watching her leave. I picture walking by her side. Even in my head I can only see the silhouette of her not looking at me. I try not to think about this. Is this pain?

Decide you want to do something. Pour yourself into the act of doing it. Come up short. Do this again and again. Become familiar with failure. I am not strong enough, I am not skillful enough, I am not who I want to be. Is this pain?

She loves me. I believe her. It isn’t enough. She would give more if she could. She can’t. I am water, wave-like particles seeping out of a broken vessel. She grasps at me and I weave through her fingers. Is this pain?

Find what hurts. Pin point it. Bear down on it. Does it feel like a knife? Move under pressure. I am rays. I am bands. I am muscle fibers contracting and releasing, with an unyielding ball lodged between my scapula and thoracic spine. Where are my scars? What will it take to free them? Scar tissue doesn’t change. Hurt something inside you, and it is never the same. Have you tested your limits? One day we all become broken.

Breathe. Move. I am muscle fibers contracting and releasing. Pain is a construct of the mind.

Test, retest. Am I different? Am I better? Measure this in degrees.

“Have you changed?” she asks. For a moment, I believe in something I can’t prove.

Shrug. This is a function of scapular elevation. How much of that is influenced by soft-tissue adhesions?

And then she is gone. I feel nothing. I am ice. Scar tissue does not contract. It is non-functional tissue in the context of movement.

Externally rotate the hip. Descend into hip flexion. Does it feel like tearing? Breathe. Move farther. Close the hip angle. Without movement, I am rotting particulate mass. Repeat this mantra. I am rays, I am bands. Test, retest. Have I felt this before?

Tissue only adapts to the stressors imposed upon it. I forget what it is to see her face.

I sprained knee ligaments a few years ago. The knee won’t forget that; it is why a few degrees of knee flexion matter to me. It was hurt and changed forever. Tissues scarred over and there are pieces in the bands and rays of that leg that don’t contribute to movement.

I think of her. Pain is a construct of the mind. Stretch farther. Bear down harder. Damaged tissue can’t be changed but I can still recover lost function. Measure this in degrees. How much less does it bother me that I can’t go back?