Gonna need a pretty good shovel.

Pressed 185lbs x 2, then another single. I could have pressed this for more reps. Thom Vale, feel free to troll me in the comments.

Front squat 355lbs x 3, 2, 2. I could have done at least one more triple. It’s fine.

I did get in some good weighted ring dips @ +75lbs for a much more legit 5rm i.e. achieved lock-out on the last rep.

The real cute girl from Starbucks I mentioned a few posts ago made conversation with me.

“So are you off today?” she asked.

I told her no, I go to work at 3. I was ABSOLUTELY not prepared for this so I didn’t have a game face on. I imagine I looked real, real surprised. Like, I probably looked like she just caught me jerking off in my car. Which I was. It’s fine.

I asked her if she went to school or anything. She answered that she wasn’t this semester but was starting next. I asked, “So what do you wanna be when you grow up?” Honestly? Honestly? HONESTLY? – I was just struggling to not stammer like a virgin at this point.

I forgot what she answered with, it’s pretty irrelevant, my palms were gushing a lot of water and electrolytes at this point, I’m surprised I’m alive to write this. She told me to have a good day and I said thanks and drove away and never looked back.

I legit got ambushed, and I definitely would not have survived had it been live-fire. Special Forces is not in my future. PKM fire from multiple directions, it’s fine, I’ll cower behind this pile of rocks and merrily shovel myself a little hole to hide in. Achievement unlocked: Expert Shoveler’s Badge.

Bill writes:

Do you have any tips for getting the bar to rack better on a clean? I have off days where it seems like getting to the rack position is pretty stiff and I’m not receiving the bar to the shoulders properly. This also results in some wrist stress and a far less smooth second pull. Thanks for the help.

I do have some tips. Mobilitywod.com. You want to work on external rotation with shoulder in flexion. Joint approximation has some pretty legitimate effects on that almost immediately. The mob that Justin posted a while ago is also good (you can make it easier by standing on a chair, getting a wide grip first, THEN going overhead). I also thought soft-tissue mobbing of the external rotators and gristly bits around the medial scapular borders helped a lot; throw in double-lacrosse ball to t-spine as well for good measure. If you’re feeling adventurous, search mwod.com for “front rack” and have fun.

loneranger asks:

brent do u have the goal of a 350 clean in ur mind in the near future? or right now its just about flexing in the mirror and getting more attention from guys than girls…no joke though. seems like jacked guys get more dudes in the gym to approach them rather than girls, maybe the jacked arms and delts are just too much for the female race.

You would be correct in assuming that soffes, tank, and flexing in the mirror gets you more attention from guys than girls. More guys have cold-approached me at the gym – wait, let me take that back, ONLY guys have cold-approached me at the gym, ever. Well OK, one time this trashy-looking older lady praised me for back squatting 355lbs but I don’t really count that one.

I would like to c+j 350lbs in the future, I can’t really predict when it’s gonna happen though. I could if I ran a cycle of nandrolone.

Brian, who is Asian, asks:

So I noticed you were around 175-180ish before (I think). Did you mostly eat paleo to drop weight? And did you cut out rice?

Brian first let me say that while I hate most Asians, you seem like an OK guy. Do you have a fobby accent? We can still be friends if you do, I just need to know.

I actually cut weight before I even took Paleo seriously. I ate a lot of chicken and broccoli and used a George Foreman grill to eat chuckeye, ground beef patties, and the occasional 8 or 9oz filet mignon. I eventually transitioned to carb-cycling on training and non-training days with mainly rice but also ate sandwiches, breakfast foods like pancakes/waffles (strictly for breakfast mind you), and various kinds of Asian take-out. Just so we’re clear, I was cutting weight because I had a girlfriend at the time and I wanted her vag to get wet when she saw me naked. After I didn’t have a girlfriend I kept carb-cycling because I now had nothing better to do than flex in the mirror.

I recomped a little more when I ate basically (grain-fed) beef and sweet potatoes 50-75% of the time and some kind of high-carb food (pre-workout). Then I recomped even more when I started eating grass-fed beef. My training also sucked initially during these phases because when I cooked more I was eating less total calories per day. I’ve re-titrated my cooking/eating though so I’m not walking around at sub-160lbs on accident now.

I still eat rice, boba tea, and Starbucks coffee. Saul hates me for it. It’s fine.

becky writes:

hey brent, honey darling, please answer these three questions.
1. will you eat some of the paleo sweet potato pie i will be making for thanksgiving? it will feature the fetus-sized sweet potatoes we got at the farmers market and crushed up pecans and hazelnuts mixed with local raw honey.
2. will you eat some of the bacon wrapped pears i will be baking? they are like meat candy. i can use the slankers bacon saul ordered for me. if you like, i can make them crispy or soft. however you like your bacon.
3. will you eat some of the sausage and chinese yam hash i will be frying up? i will use the slankers sausage saul ordered for me and my very special purple chinese yams. and i will top it off with organic cinnamon, of course.
ok bye.

Yes, yes, yes. I would like to try both crispy and soft for the bacon-wrapped pears. Or whichever you recommend. The sweet potato pie sounds really fucking good oh god.

Leave a comment ?


  1. Nothing makes me reach for the revolver faster than the phrase “our paleo ancestors”.

  2. Hey Brent, yesterday I made a girl blush by checking her out. Just thought you’d like to know. B

  3. Hey Brent,

    I’ve been hearing a lot about “fried CNS.” Is that paleo? What about if I use almond flour and coconut oil for fying?

  4. Brent,

    Why did you take down the youtube video of you shrugging?

  5. Brent I need some bro to bro advice here. This girl asked me for studying help via text message, and I responded with the you should be an archeologist line. She is now pressing barges for sexual harassment. What do?

  6. Death to all paleo. Die Die Die.

  7. So just for laughs jess brought up in front of her friends my phone conversations with Lascek and how it was weird. Then she mentions “the depressed asian guy” and one of her pretty cute friends says “awwwww, when I see depressed asian men its like seeing a really bummed out dog or some sort of small animal.” So if you ever come to SC I am pretty sure you could get some solid sympathy sex from this girl.

  8. Brent, what do you order at Starbucks? Is it a double whip whole milk venti caramel macchiato?

  9. Brent, I just started doing HBBS on a fucking whim and I like them better than LBBS. Does this even fucking matter? My knee generally feels like shit so squatting heavy isnt fun anymore but HBBS doesnt bother it really. Im not even sure if im doing it right, but whatever… Ill shine my shovel and join you in the trenches.

  10. oops didnt mean to reply to stonewall’s post. guess i need a shovel now too.

  11. really lonely guy

    wait Brent you had a gf before? Just seemed like you made it out to be you were single and lonely all your life. Looks like you’re doing a lot better than many guys out there…

  12. really lonely guy

    brent i can relate to your experience in starbucks. today i was working out in the gym and after i did my set of rows, i turned around and there was this goddess sitting right behind me. i felt like i turned to dust when i even dared to look straight in her eyes.

  13. i love that you friend zoned me before i had the chance to friend zone you. so you got to see what it’s like being on the other side of the equation. how does it feel to be the zone creator? how does it feel to interact with me, as a lady, and not get your tighty whities all in a bunch? how does it feel to not have to worry that you’ll spend the rest of your day walking around with crust in your shorts cuz you got nervous and accidentally squirted?

  14. Hey Brent,

    How do you train ?

  15. this becky girl, I LIKE.

  16. she is perhaps the living testimony that guys and girls can be FRIENDS.

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