Daily Archives: April 11, 2011

I train better when I want to fucking kill myself anyway.

Meet was yesterday, weighed in at 73.4k. I went in knowing what I’d hit for my openers and 2nd attempts, 3rd attempts were more or less up in the air.

For the squat I went 190 –> 200 –> 210 without much trouble. It’s been a while since I’ve hit a max effort squat. 200k was a little rough with a stalling point in the middle. Mike told me to bounce my third attempt harder out of the hole, and I responded that I might try to if I felt that it was necessary. I came out for 210 with weapons free, basically bottomed-out in the hole and immediately drove back up, and made a fairly smooth grind to the top. Mike said I broke the state squat record with 210 and I didn’t really give a shit. I squat 207.5 @ 82.5 last year, which also broke the state record, and I also did not give a shit then. 210 matches my lifetime low-bar back squat PR, it’s possible I may have been good for 212.5.

Benched 112.5 –> 122.5 — > x127.5. Was expecting a lot more here but apparently could not produce expected results. I’ve paused 260lbs x 2 in training and I thought I’d have a shot at 130k/286lbs on a good day, but 122.5 didn’t go up without a lot of trouble and I got promptly pinned at 127.5k. Definitely wanted to fucking kill myself here. Lifetime PR would be 125k/275lbs, I may have been good for it at the meet but at the time I didn’t think there was really any point in attempting a 3rd if I wasn’t going to establish a PR.

Historically I have always sucked fucking shit in the deadlift. Mike mentioned something about short arms and disadvantageous anthromopometry but I have told him, collectively on different occasions, that anthropometry, bodyweight, and genetics were all excuses that people made for being weak. I mean, what the fuck do you think nandrolone is for????? I opened with 180 for my last warm up on the platform, then went to 195 which was ridiculously difficult. It stalled at my knees and it took me a second or two to grind it to lock out. It was so difficult that I considered waiving my third attempt because I didn’t think anything would go, but Mike suggested just taking 200 and I said why the fuck not. 200 was probably easier than 195, still a grinder but a lot smoother, however I doubt I could have gotten much more.

Totalled 1176lbs @ 165lbs, pretty fucking lame imo, I thought I’d be good to break 1200lbs at this meet but I didn’t come in strong enough. Mike definitely helped me total the most I possibly could this day, and apparently I was the least stressful to handle at the meet, since I typically don’t give a shit at meets.

Another thing that makes me want to kill myself was this mega jacked, really pretty chick at the meet who squat and dead 300lbs+ at like, 148 or 165. She was so jacked that it wouldn’t be an insult to suspect that she may have been on anavar. Her boyfriend was 6’2″ and at least 300lbs and maybe 15-20% bodyfat, it was obvious that he benched AT LEAST 550lbs. She wore glasses and was a talented lifter, think she went 9 for 9 and squatted/pulled 300lbs+. I thought she was the prettiest girl in the room. She’s so pretty she could be a part-time model. She could spend part of her time modeling and part of her time next to me. It’s possible that she was the love of my life.

Had a conversation once with Rip, I was talking about a girl and mentioned that she was the love of my life.

He asked, “Wait a second, she’s the love of your life?”


“Is this girl your girlfriend?”

“No, she has a boyfriend already.”

“She has a boyfriend, who is not you?”


“Then how is it possible that she is the love of your life?”

“Sometimes someone can be the love of your life but you might not be theirs.” And I think this would be the most illustrative statement on one of the defining philosophies of my life.

I may or may not make a post tomorrow about my workout in which I will definitely catch a pump with dumbbell benching, depends on if I fucking kill myself or not.

One more thing, last year at this meet, there was this dad dude that was talking to all of us. He asked me how much I benched and I said 264lbs, he was like “That’s it? My son is 14 and he benches 300lbs. How much do you weigh? 181lbs????? My son is 123lbs.” His son was also lifting fucking geared, which doesn’t really excuse the fact that a fucking 123lbs kid was benching more than me, but basically I’ve wanted to kill myself a lot both times I’ve lifted in the USAPL Texas State Meet.