Me and Nathan chat on a regular basis about our epic fails with girls.

While I have definitely been contemplating fucking ending it during my nightly face time with an M1911, I have in fact not fucking killed myself.

My friend Carolyn, who is the only girl I currently talk to on a regular basis, had the chance to meet Mike, who is currently dating her close friend, and was giving me a running commentary of her impression of him:

Carolyn: ever see the julia roberts movie sleeping with the enemy
Brent: parts of it
Carolyn: That’s how mike makes crystal feel. Like she has to line up labels or get beat

Mike’s stack, which consists of whey protein, casein, waxy maize, fish oil, and a multi, is organized in Optimum Nutrition tubs from largest container to smallest with the labels oriented in the same direction. While the containers are Optimum Nutrition, some things are not necessarily Optimum Nutrition supps, i.e. some of the whey is actually the EAS stuff from Sam’s or Costco and dumped into the ON tub. One of the first times Justin hung out at Mike’s place, Justin reorganized Mike’s stack while he was in the shower, and Mike immediately had to restore order when it came to his attention.

This is completely irrelevant, but I think many of you will enjoy reading it: I am officially the only character on 70s big who is not dating anyone. Am I going to say “guess I should fucking kill myself?” Are you waiting for it?

No really, I’m fine. I’m going to get a corgi named Mortimer and make 10 facebook status updates a day talking about how much I love my life, family, and friends. Then post at least 3 pictures a day of Mortimer, despite no one giving a shit. Most people’s response to my online activity will be asking the pointed question “who are you trying to convince.” Then when someone makes me question the validity of the delusion of a good life I’ve created for myself I’ll delete my profile only to make another one three days later. Then I’ll fucking kill myself.

On Sunday I benched 265lbs x 3 paused for a pretty solid PR, high bar squat 405lbs x 3, and pulled 425lbs x 2 + a delayed rep double overhand. I also snatched 195lbs x 4, with two of those being power snatches. I could have been more tired doing all this.

Just so you know – I signed up to lift at 181 at USAPL raw nationals, which is in about a month. The issue was that we could all fly in a day later and save on one night of the hotel room. I thought it was a good idea at the time. Until I weighed 163-164lbs for the past fucking month. Granted it’s just 1-2lbs to gain to officially not be a 165, I guess I’ll drink a lot of fucking water the morning of weigh-in and have breakfast before I get on the scale.

“Eating isn’t hard Brent” hey go fuck yourself seriously.

Leave a comment ?


  1. being single gives you the time needed to get to triple digit APM and master microing your units. who wouldn’t want that?

  2. The Obsolete man

    Brent I seen this on youtube and thought you could use it.

    Sorry to do this to you: This is a love chain letter. Within 5 days you must send
    it to 27 other teens. On the 5th day a person you like will ask you out, or tell you
    that they love you. If you do not send it you will have problems in future
    relationships. It has been going since 1877 and hasn’t stopped since

  3. “single[?] master… your unit” – Chris

  4. This is from Jaime Easons FB.. might help you in picking up chicks, take it or leave it:

    You’ll laugh but practice this in the mirror. Imagine you are driving down the road & it’s foggy outside. You have to slightly squint to see through the fog. Up ahead you see a sign & all you can make out is the # 2. Yoiu start to say the # 2, but only the hard T sound. Relax your lips & that’s a pouty face 🙂 Sounds totally goofy but practice & you might be surprised.

  5. I’m terrified to become like you, Brent.

  6. Fuckin’ Mortimer. almost fell out of my chair when I lol’d

  7. so brent do u plan on getting married?

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