The extended 70’s Big Face Picture Challenge is reaching it’s climax. Fans, readers, lifters…YOU will decide the winner. The Killustrator has the prize, a bundle of posters, ready to be sent in the mail. Let the voting begin.
Voting starts at the bottom of the page.
You can click on a picture to see the full image, if applicable.
#1 - Adam
#2 - Aidan (from Scotland)
#3 - Big_Mike
#4 - Christian (wore this to his wedding)
#5 - Ed. Intense.
#6 - Gabe w/ eye ball blood vessel
#7 - Harrison (big grocery list guy)
#8 - Jake, the dark horse
#9 - James
#10 - Jeremy
#11 - Jesse, cool dude, builds a bunch of stuff, coached him in Tallahassee
#12 - Jimmy
#13 - John
#14 - Matt...eyebrows=mustache
#15 - Rob, another cool dude, post-grad at GA Tech
We had eleven ladies and 66 men take the 3 press-3 pullup challenge. Thirty one of those came from CrossFit affiliates (Monterey, Regina, and Works) and from hawkpeter’s workout group (not sure what kind of scene he’s running).
Ladies first. The top five were AngDesi (32 rounds), Jenny L (26), Maritza (21), Amanda C (20), and Liz C (20). All eleven ladies were CrossFitters, so I have to give props there. Maybe the others will get back on board with this month’s challenge.
Eight men topped the thirty round mark. Shae and Andres A stood out with 33 rounds apiece. Garage Fit and Beau were right behind with 32. rbuell, Gill, Jason G, and Adrian M had 30 apiece. CrossFitters predictably did well in this challenge, although none topped 200 pounds. The math-challenged Garage Fit was the heaviest 30-rounder at 195 pounds. For whatever reason, he scaled up as if he was 215.
Thanks to everyone who participated. Here is the link to the google doc if you want to play with the raw data (Typskin).
I will put the August Challenge up in a sticky. It is going to be a super total: 1RM max in snatch, C&J, squat, bench, and deadlift.
The following pictures are meant to inspire you. While Justin was hopping around in a banana hammock and Brent was wearing his Just-PR’d-Dance Dance Revolution Smile, I was cooking for an engagement party. 80 pounds of meat for 20 people (I like leftovers). I even emailed Jacob and Justin when I cracked my first beer at 7:30 that morning. Behold the secrets of 70sBigness, a story in pictures.
7:30 am. A fine day. Beer is open and charcoal chimney is going. This is my buddy's smoker. He bought it from the church group and wanted me to use it for this cook.
7:59. Chimney is lit. Added the wood (1/2 oak, 1/2 mesquite). Finished the first beer and totasted the BBQ gods, asking them to give me a good cook for the day.
My 6-year old son learning the craft. He's not 70sBig yet, but he's good for hauling 50 pound sand bags and tossing the 8 and 9 year olds at judo class.
52 pound curls. As functional as it gets. (Pictured: 6 pork shoulders)
Stopped by my friend's house to get a vacuum sealer. This is the handgun rack in his gun room (not pictured: 40 rifles). What does this have to do with this post? Because it's Texas, and I've already discussed beer and BBQ.
Pork shoulder, pork ribs, back ribs, pork sausage, and chicken.
70’s Big is an attitude that isn’t subtle. It kicks down the door with thickly soled boots ready to rumble. It is rugged with hairy forearms. Underneath one forearm is a case of beer. Under the other is five pounds of barbecue. If there was a grandpa sitting in the corner of the room, he’d say, “They don’t make men like that anymore.” And when Skinny Guy looks at the figure in the doorway with fear, he pleads, “Wh-why did you bring beer? We’re ab-b-b-bout to train.” Our hero replies, “Well, we ain’t training all night, now are we, sweetheart?” He croons his neck forward as the ends of mouth grind down, his eyebrows raise up. He is menacing. He is ready.
He is 70’s Big.
But if you go through that whole scenario and then purse your lips together like you’re about to kiss your grandma or somebody’s ass, then you won’t have the same effect.
Exhibit A: My friend Ben is making some kind of an attempt at the face. While he is strong with a 190kg overhead squat, he fails miserably on this first attempt. ‘A’ for effort though.
Exhbit B. Eric and Antoinette have a similar fate.
There is a common mistake that these three make, and it is the secret to the 70’s Big Face. 70’s Big is a full effort, and the face is the same way. You can’t expect to just move your lips and achieve a look that says, “I’ll be ready to squat once I raze your village.” Here is a step-by-step guide to doing the face.
1. First, get in the right mindset. If you haven’t lifted something heavy, eaten meat, or done some yelling in the previous 24 hours, you probably aren’t ready.
2. This is the most important step of them all, because the face can’t be executed without this step. Protrude your jaw forward as if you were trying to achieve a severe under-bite. This allows you to do the next few steps.
3. Try and pull the corners of your mouth down as far as you can. Maximum distance (not be confused with “maximum jackage”) will be attained if, AND ONLY IF, the jaw is protruded.
4. Try and push the middle of your lips up as far as possible. This will increase the discrepancy between the maximum apex of the height of your lips with the asymptotic drop of the corners of your mouth.
5. Depending on the look you’re going for, adjust your eyes. For a mega-intense face, squint your eyes.
6. Now fix your eye brows. Raising your eyebrows as high as they can go turns a mediocre 70’s Big Face into an excellent 70’s Big Face (this is also a requisite for the mega-intense variation that Chris has patented in 14 countries — see below).
Chris, the crafty veteran
Excellent. Now you have the blueprints for a proper 70’s Big Face. Anything less is…well, it’s just awkward for everybody. Once you have mastered the mega-intense face, you can play around with some variations. Here AC is exhibiting authority with his coaches pass:
Here is what should have been an excellent picture. You’ll notice Brent is TOTALLY fucking up the picture by doing a Hello Kitty smile. Do not be the friend that ruins a good 70’s Big Face group picture. Fucking Brent.
Wouldn’t it be cool if you could get some of your friends and just go throw heavy stuff? Wouldn’t it be even better if there were drums, bugles, and bagpipes playing in the background and women dancing on a stage nearby? And wouldn’t it be complete if you tossed a telephone pole on your way to enjoy a cold Guinness?
There is such a place, my friends. It’s called Scottish Heavy Athletics, better known as Highland Games. I recently completed my second Highland Games at the Texas Scottish Festival, and I’m looking to make this my summer/fall sport.
Some of the events make some sense from a combat perspective (I guess you could throw a rock or launch a hammer at someone who wasn’t too far away). And I guess the sheaf reminds one of throwing hay to the top of the barn (if one has done such things). But most of the events feel like the creation of a couple blacksmiths who fell into a barrel of mead.
Throwing the #22 Braemar Stone
Games are held throughout the country, usually beginning in the spring and running through fall. The pros are behemoths (and so are most of the amateurs), but don’t let that keep you away. Everyone in HG is cool, and they’re happy to welcome new people to their sport.
If you haven’t done it before, there’s not much you need to change. Just find a group to throw with and go from there. If the bug bites, then you can start worrying about specific training, buying/making implements, etc. I trained for this just like I do for judo. Instead of conditioning, I just substituted more throwing and event practice.
The great Shannon Hartnett, 10 time World Highland Games Champion
If you’re not signed up for something this summer, get your kilt together and do one of these. You’ll meet a good group of athletes and participate in something that’s somewhat off the wall. NASGAweb.com has listings, athlete data, and a discussion forum that addresses preparation and training. Get on it. You’ll thank me later.
Edit: I had to include this video because the timing of the throw and the music is pretty cool.
If you haven’t realized it already, Highland Games is a very 70sBig-friendly sport. I am 5’10 215 in the picture (I’m the guy holding the beer and the trophy), and I was the lightest guy by 25 pounds. My friend, Aaron (red beard, front row), is 280 and was maybe the fourth biggest guy there.
A fine group of lads. (L-R) Joseph, Gant, Harold, James, Aaron, Luke, Rob, Kyle