2012 Thanksgiving Results

Today’s post compiles the results of the annual 2012 Thanksgiving Weight Gain Challenge. Each video was pretty funny and worth watching. I’ve made a table of the winners in each category:

Most of the contenders weighed about the same, so the “Percent of Body Weight” category did not vary much from the “Absolute Gain” category. The heaviest guys were Joe Bloom and Rob Brown (start weight of 225 and 236.6 respectively). Lightest guys were criedthefox (Brian) and Daren Welsh (176.5 and 184.6 respectively). Of the 11 contenders, there was a total weight gain of 86.5 pounds.

Willey’s winning results are surprising because he started at 191 and gained 13 pounds, but his discomfort seemed sincere in his post weigh-in video. One contender can’t win both categories, so Daren Welsh will win the other (he’s second in both).

As for “funniest video”, I have narrowed it down to a few. I want to point out that I thought all of the videos were amusing, so give ’em a watch. We will choose the funniest video in this post’s comments out of the following x:

criedthefox clearly spent a lot of time on this year’s entry. He went from 176.5 to 184.5. Will he retain the title?

Zach Paulus has really come out of no where this year. Literally. In this video he said he used to weigh 135 and weighed in at 188.2, so he’s been hard at work (his second weigh-in put him at 194.6). This video is a must-watch. Don’t make fun of him.

Alphantis did two quick vids, but I laughed really fucking hard at the end of this first video. He went from 187 to 193.5.

newgetelqueso participates in the challenge from the Middle East and questions a girl on manly qualities. He went from 75.6 to 78.6kg (his response to kilos is good).

Daren Welsh’s video is very good, and he sports a nice mustache (which undoubtedly helped him win), but he can’t win another award. He went from 184.6 to 194.6 for an even 10 pound gain.

The others with comments from memory:

Rob Brown’s girlfriend brought a scale in her purse to Cracker Barrell and at the end of the video Rob presses her (she squeals with delight). Rob went from 236.6 to 241 in about 45 minutes of eating. Unfortunately I didn’t include a category for most weight gained in shortest amount of time.

Joe Bloom went from 225 to 235 and makes a porno joke with his wife.

Mike Innola went from 188.8 to 195.8 and is quite clearly drunk in the second weigh-in.

Broseph went from 192.8 to 201.6 and caught a pump prior to going on camera.

Austin went from 194.4 to 200.2 and is in the middle of his third trimester.

Well done to the contenders. We’ll see you in 2013.

PR Friday

I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday weekend. There’s no Q&A today, but here’s what’s on this week’s agenda:

PR Friday: Post your training updates and PR’s to the comments.

Thanksgiving Weight Gain Challenge: Post your videos to the comments. Everyone else start rating them on a scale of 1 to 10.

Movember Fundraising: The fundraising effort hasn’t raised much money in the last week (we’re at $3,701 total). There are literally 36 team members who haven’t raised any money whatsoever. What the hell is that? C’mon people, ask around and raise a little money.


Thanksgiving Weight Challenge 2012

Today’s Thanksgiving is an American holiday that is associated with a large feast, football festivities, and generally being thankful. The original holiday didn’t exactly work out like that, and the puritans didn’t dress like Gordons all the time, but it’s too boring to discuss. Instead, let’s talk about the Third Annual 70′s Big Thanksgiving Weight Gain Challenge.

Before we discuss the rules, I want to point out that anybody who is aiming to eat clean today is a boner-faced gremlin. If you’re the type of person that makes everyone switch restaurants because a spatula may have gluten on it, then you need to go play in traffic keep your trap shut before one of us puts our foot in it. Unless you have celiac…in which case you shouldn’t eat bad stuff because nobody wants you splatter pooping all over their bathroom.

1. Weigh-ins must be recorded on video with a valid time source. Since you may not have a scale to use at a relative’s house, there is no time restriction on when the weigh-in needs to occur.
2. The same scale must be used in both weigh-ins with the same attire or clothing. Don’t get naked; we don’t want to see your hairy dong.
3. Be concise, but try to be funny. Don’t make us sit through 3 minutes of labored breathing.
4. Upload videos to YouTube with a title of “70′s Big Thanksgiving – (Name)” with (Name) being your name.
5. Link the video to the PR Friday comments. Entries close when Sunday ends.
Failure to comply with any of these rules will result in disqualification from the contest and awarding of the Expert Shoveller’s Badge. To get an idea of what to do, review last year’s entries. Categories are “Absolute Weight Gained” and “Percentage of Body Weight Gained”. There may be a “Funniest Video Award” if someone is actually funny (this means you criedthefox).

Edit: This weight gain challenge is supposed to be accomplished by eating a Thanksgiving meal. 

70’s Big wishes you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving. 


Veteran’s Day 2012

In Robert Heinlein’s Starship Troopers, the Terran Federation is a limited democracy in which full citizenship comes with a price. Earning citizenship and suffrage — the right to vote — was accomplished by two years of voluntary Federal Service (AKA military service). The concept that a society be made of people who have contributed to their country and government was important to Heinlein, who served in the Navy after graduating from the Naval Academy. Earning that voice in government, in Heinlein’s eyes, is better than anyone “who is 18 years old and has a body temperature near 37 °C.”

The idea that veterans are deeply rewarded for their sacrifice is an admirable one; something that would inspire appreciation for gained freedoms and instill a foundation of work ethic. In our society, veterans make analogous sacrifices. First, they pledge an allegiance to uphold the longstanding tradition of morals and honor of their respective country. Second, they knowingly surrender various birth-given rights and are held to a higher standard for their actions. Third, they play their specific role in an organization that provides and maintains the security of freedom for all countrymen. And fourth, they do so with meager compensation and the occasional “thank you.”

Some might say that the veteran has chosen their fate; their own volition led them into their job just as a civilian has chosen theirs. Yet the difference is that veteran made that decision knowing what was at stake. The Airman who works on jets or the Ranger who puts two rounds into a terrorist consciously made a decision that subjects them to the needs of their respective branch. They chose to reduce their freedom so that you and I can under appreciate ours.

Many of you will feel noble on these holidays by publicly saying, “Thank you, troops,” but your words will only accomplish so much. Your support does mean something to a veteran, but you can do so much more with action. While all service members sacrifice, some leave war with mental or physical scars while others return home in a casket draped with their flag. What remains is a person struggling to cope, whether it be with what they could have done to save their best friend or how to move on without their spouse in their life.

70’s Big and I ask you to do more than just speak words today. I ask you to donate $1 to two foundations: The Wounded Warrior Project and The Special Operations Warrior Foundation. Both are legitimate organizations that help veterans or their remaining families in a variety of ways (read their mission statements here and here respectively). I make no apology for asking you to donate your hard-earned, well deserved money; I know it’s hard to come by in today’s economy, yet show your thanks to these veterans with action. I can tell you that veterans, including the fallen or disabled, are powerlifters, weightlifters, strength trainees, CrossFitters, bodybuilders, and S&C enthusiasts. They are husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and friends. Some of them need more than words and we have the ability to help them. $1 for each charity is all I ask for you to show that you truly support your troops.

Donate to The Wounded Warrior Project here. 

Donate to The Special Operations Warrior Foundation here. 

(Non-American countries can post equivalent charity foundations in the comments)

Thank you to current and past veterans for making the choice to serve your country at the expense of limiting the most important values of all: freedom and liberty.

Movember 2012

Listen up fuckers, it’s Movember. This isn’t a game.

Movember is an annual call to hairy arms to raise funds for men’s health issues, specifically prostate and testicular cancer. Last year we kicked cancer in the BALLS by collectively raising about 6,000 doll hairs. I think this year we can do better. This year’s goal is to raise eleventy bazillion 8,000 doll hairs.

If everyone who is reading this donated ONE doll hair — just a single doll hair — then we would easily hit our goal in a day or so. So please, join the cause so we can really GIVE IT to cancer.


Movember focuses on growing a mustache, but 70’s Big just asks you to grow facial hair in general. You can do “no shave November”, start a mustache from scratch, or continue whatever facial hair you’ve already been working on.

Here’s this year’s opening video:

Here are some of last year’s videos:
Movember, Mustaches, Bacon
Movember Mash-up
Just Hittin’ A Mob

Lastly, here is Parks and Recreation star Nick Offerman teaching you how to grow a mustache: