The Amateur

Posted on April 2, 2010 by Justin

“Mmmm…you smell like outside!”

Dang, some of you are too gullible. In fact, did you know gullible is not even in the dictionary? Look it up if you don’t believe me.

In any case, it’s PR Friday. Post your weight lifted, consumed, or gained, and also post all of the temperamental moments you had when someone pulled an April Fool’s joke on you.

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My friend Spencer Hall from SB Nation is known as “The Amateur”, the guy who can’t do anything as good as those who can. Well, recently he shot up to Charlotte to witness his first powerlifting meet. This was the “Battle of the Border” meet that AC competed in a few weekends ago. Spencer wrote an article for the SB Nation readers who are more than likely not familiar with powerlifting. He highlights AC quite a bit, and there’s a pretty funny video at the end. Even if he didn’t talk about my pal Ace, I still would enjoy this article — Spencer had me laughing my ass off. For example:

Unfortunately…a mustache [that Spencer is wearing] brands you as:

a.) A gregarious pedophile

b.) A new expat from the Middle East

c.) A misplaced fisherman

d.) Nick Offerman, also known as Ron Swanson on NBC’s hit sitcom Parks and Recreation

And here is an exchange between Spencer and AC:

I ask him how much his hair is worth on a lift.

“The hair? Oh, that’s ten pounds, easy.”

“The beard is five, right?”

“Definitely. And you have to wear the singlet. This one is my dad’s. His balls were in this singlet.”

He wears a look of pride on his face as he says this.

“Singlets are cool. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

The article is very fucking funny, and Spencer has a nice little description of an outsider’s view of a powerlifting meet. We’ll probably hear from him again in the future.

A New Outlook

Posted on April 1, 2010 by Justin

Edit: The caption on the picture didn’t go through last night. It has since been updated.

Hey, maybe I’ve been to hard on the skinny guys. Whatever you want to do in order to be happy, you should do it. If you want to shave your chest, maintain some sexy abs, and pull in the ladies, then why not, eh? Nothin’ wrong with tryin’ to impress the ladies, right?

Look, we don’t need to eat all of this food. We can get BIG, and we can get strong if we eat healthy (it may take 10 years to increase your lean body mass by five pounds, but hey, slow and steady wins the race, knowhatImean?). I challenge each and everyone one of you to get a healthy serving of green vegetables today — THREE TIMES!! I think it’s time we start focusing on our health. After all, if you eat like we have been recommending for six months, then you’ll turn into a swarthy, obese, unhealthy mother fucker who isn’t very useful. By GOD, my friend Zach, the internet phenomenon, is SUCH a fat boy.

The 70’s Big stance is now one that revolves around lookin’ good and feelin’ good. Here is my 6 step program:

1. Eat less red meat. It has all kinds of things in it that you don’t need, especially if you are hitting glutes and cardio five days a week.

2. Three servings of vegetables a day keeps you slim, trim, with abs as sharp as a pin.

3. Cycle your abdominal exercises throughout the week so that you don’t exhaust one ab. If you want at least a six pack, then you better hit each pack by itself lest it shall be overtrained and grow angry.

4. Take your shirt off around other guys. It shows that you are okay with your sexuality and will be the primary method in finding a mate in the proximity.

5. Eat protein, but not too much. You can’t assimilate all of if anyway, and you don’t want it stored as excess fat!

6. Buy a mirror — two if you can. You should monitor your progress frequently. If your abs aren’t smashing diamonds in two, then you better sharpen your game, son.

But in all seriousness guys, it’s time to start lookin’ good and feelin’ good. Mmmm…can you smell it?

Continue reading →

Mopping Up

Posted on February 22, 2010 by Justin

“I’m hard yet soft, I am colored yet clear, I am fruity and sweet, I am jelly… what am I?”

There are a few things from last week and the weekend that need to be posted. A while back someone asked for a video of me power cleaning — I can’t imagine why, but here is my third (and last) rep of clean and jerking 150 kg last Tuesday that Eva filmed.

And now for the finale…

Pat and AC doin’ man stuff.

This.

Technical Difficulties

Posted on February 3, 2010 by Justin

We are having technical difficulties regarding internet availability at the gym. Please do not post a bunch of stupid shit. The issue should be resolved by mid afternoon (Wednesday). In the mean time, here are some videos that should entertain you.

Strong weightlifter:

If you sign up for the Starting Strength Seminar at the Wichita Falls Athletic Club, you may get to experience some of this:

And this is an incredibly important video:

Video Montage

Posted on January 7, 2010 by Justin

“Hey, is that where they filmed Terminator 2?”

AC made a pretty sweet video montage of footage from his trip out here in December. That trip also coincided with Mike Hom visiting Wichita Falls, so we were one big happy family. In this video you will see different types of lifters with different training goals.

Texas Pt. 2 from A.C. on Vimeo.

Edit: I guess I’m okay with me sitting on the toilet as the video’s preview image…
Stay warm and train hard — tomorrow is PR Friday.

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I’ve never met Sage Burgener, but we have some mutual friends. Apparently she’s a cool gal, a weightlifter, a coach, and has a funky little blog where she reveals tips that she has picked up from her pops, Mike Burgener. More importantly, she likes the 70’s Big t-shirt.

sage