I need to make sure you guys are aware of this – I’ve linked two corgi-oriented sites recently. The one that I like the most is the one run by the owner of corgiaddict.com, she has her own tri-color corgi named Pudge and he is real cute and real ploofeh. She uses a lot of corgi-oriented words like “baroooo” which is apparently how corgis bark, “ploofeh” referring to how fluffy (or “floofeh”) a corgi’s coat is, and she uses herpderp to refer to a specific kind of corgi face (when their tongues are lolling out of their mouths). Pudge is real fucking cute. I spend a lot of time looking at his pictures.

I snatched up to 225lbs and c+jed 275lbs tonight, didn’t feel terribly strong. Managed to bench 250lbs for 5, 5, 5, 4 which is the best volume benching I’ve ever done, hopefully I’m good to take down 275lbs x 3 next week. High-bar squat 430lbs x 1 (attempted a second rep and got stapled), 405lbs for 4, 3.

I can’t reiterate enough how fucking good I feel benching when I’m keeping up with tacking-and-stretching my distal tris. It’s a fucking world of difference. When I keep up my basic routine and do the soft tissue work after particularly nasty workouts (like I will do it again tomorrow since I benched a lot tonight), I’m just a lot more fluid and I feel so much stronger driving off my chest and through the middle.

Same thing for squats and rolling out my glutes and high hammies. The sensation is completely different, I can keep my knees out better and it feels like so much more musculature is being utilized as I come out of the hole.

Tom asks:

Hey Brent, any issues with doing several mobs every day? Is there an over training (you know what I mean) equivalent for mobbing?

Not that I’m aware of. Doing some mobs pre-workout can make you feel too loose i.e. high hammy flossing or hip joint approximation seems to hurt my squats and oly lifts. But it’s when I don’t keep up with a regular routine that I feel shitty and can’t hit positions well and lose a lot of capacity for force production.

One of the doctors I work with likes to counsel me about girls a lot, or tries to play Cupid. When VPVG was at my clinic more often, I got a lot of counseling from him.

“Look, you just don’t have any game. You know, I watch you interact with her, I see how you guys talk, and you’re just too friendly. You’re too nice. Girls don’t like that. You need to make strong moves. You can’t leave anything in question. You just gotta say, ‘look, you’re hot. We should go out, you know? Let’s go out. Let’s have dinner. Are we gonna do this or what?’ And she’s seeing a guy long-distance, so what? When the cat’s away, the mice will play. That’s a saying. Oh, here she comes.”

“I know you’re talking about me,” she would then say as she walked between us to the front desk.

I’m supposed to be Allie’s Secret Santa at work. Allie’s a pretty cool chick – I am NOT her work husband. We are just two coworkers who talk about stuff together. She likes me because one time we had the following conversation:

Brent: “What’d you do this weekend?
Allie: “I went to a party.”
Brent: “Did you get yucky?”
Allie: “I got really yucky. My ex was there too and I made him cry.”
Brent: “I need to know this story.”

So she told me the story, her ex was at the party and said “hey we should get back together, you’re so hot tonight,” and she said “NO! You were awful to me and I would never give you another chance!” Then he text her for the rest of the night and cried. I loved this story. Anything to remind me that my misery is not unique, that there may be things wrong with me but there is something wrong with everyone, and really we are all just so many lonely people, getting yucky, crying at parties, grinding out PR squats, going to bed hurting and damaged, having faith in the idea of a vague tomorrow that might be just a little better.

Anyways, I know I am not Allie’s work husband and just a mutual friend because she jokes with me about my girlfriends, which I don’t have. When I called VPVG or vice versa on occasion for whatever reason on the clinic phones, she’d make jokes about “my little Asian girlfriend.” To which I’d have to respond “I wouldn’t say that, she doesn’t take me very seriously.” And Allie would be all encouraging saying funny stuff like “oh she just doesn’t know she loves you yet,” if only she knew who she was talking to.

I also know I am not her work husband because of this conversation that took place between the doctor and her:

Doctor: “So are you single?”
Allie: “Yeah. My life is over. I’m twenty-four, I’m supposed to be married right now. I should be thinking about kids. But I’m still in school. I live with my parents. I’m single. My life is over.”
Doctor: “Well tell me about what kind of guys you like. You know, I’m actually a very good matchmaker. I have a very high – the couples that I match have a very high success rate. I have a 100% success rate.”
Some Other Coworker: “What about Brent?”
Doctor (waving me off): “He’s a lost cause. He’s a failure. His inability to close deals has no reflection on my abilities to match couples. So what are you looking for in a guy?”
Allie: “Well I like a guy who is tall and athletic. Like he has to be *this tall.* And he has to have a job. He has to be smart, and he has to be funny.”
Doctor (pointing to me now): “Well what about him? He’s athletic. You know, he lifts weights or whatever. He’s – well I won’t say that he’s smart, but with the right ADD meds – ”
Allie: “… well he has to be *this tall* so …”

I wasn’t sitting ten feet away filing papers or anything while this discussion took place it’s fine. Inadequacy is a familiar feeling. You could say it’s one of my closest friends. The unconditional love and companionship of a corgi is looking real pleasant right about now.

No but really it’s fine. Allie’s cool and nice. I asked people what to get her and they said she really likes Twizzlers and Dr. Pepper so this’ll be easy. I’m probably going to get something I’m not going to use, like a protein powder from Walmart. It’s fine.

Joe writes:

Hey Brent, weirdest thin JUST happened. I was in a crowded Room with you and Justin for some reason and you two were wearing tank tops. Then you two were laughing really hard at some chick and I woke up. I don’t recall everything that happened but it made me wake up and I had to tell you. It’s fine. Ok that’s all. Stay safe.

OoohKAY.

tiny asks:

Brent, Hypothetical question, if you could be any animal, what would it be? No explanation please.

Duck-billed platypus.

Matt writes:

Why won’t you respond to my facebook friend request? Either way it’s fine…. please respond

I have like 20+ friend requests pending right now and they are pending because I don’t know who the FUCK these people are. Which Matt are you? I have like 3.

Pete writes:

WHAT IS THE POINT OF EXCHANGING PHONE NUMBERS IF YOU NEVER TEXT ME BACK YOU FLAMING BAG OF ASIAN FAGGOT

brb sending me pictures of your poop, asking me who my favorite US president is, and not speaking fucking English then getting mad that I don’t text you back. Congrats on your house man. Great job with your training. Keep us updated with your pics and vids. Wanna see how freakin thick solid and tight you can get. Good luck with your bodybuilding and homeowner goals in 2012.