Hey guys. You guys are great people and you’re gonna do great. Thick solid tight good luck with your powerlifting goals in 2011.

I’m just here at work. Just doing my thing. Minding my own business. I bring a chart back up to the front desk after I’m done with it, and, as is typical, struggle to place it into the rack without the pages getting crumpled. BRB motor coordination of a psuedopod amoeba.

Chick sees me not succeeding and takes the chart for me. “You know,” she says, “it’s already in order so you COULD just scan it. If you wanted.”

“That’s fine.”

So I bring another chart back up the front. I’m about to place it in the rack again but remember, oh yeah these are already in order, I guess I’ll just scan them. So I start doing that, and the other front desk girl says –

“You’re going to make him feel bad, he’s sensitive. He’s so nice.”

Girl 1 (looking at me with an eye brow raised): “Are you sensitive, Brent?”

Brent (desperately trying to stop what’s about to happen): “I wouldn’t say that.”

Girl 2: “Whatever! You know you’re nice.”

Girl 1 (after chuckling): “Brent’s a nice guy.”

I wasn’t even trying to flirt with these girls. Their assessment is automatic. They can smell it on me. I wear my vulnerability like a name tag. Hi My Name Is: Brent. I Am: Sensitive, Beta, And A Virgin. If you need me, I’ll be the guy sitting in the dark at his computer, typing in his blog. Resigned to his fucking fate.

Friday I did clean pulls and reverse hypers. Saturday I did weighted chins, +85lbs x 3, then 3×5 barbell rows, then some barbell curls and lateral delt raises. I felt moderately pumped. I’ve had better.

Chris and Mike did a meet at Authentic Strength on Saturday as well. They took conservative attempts but still made multiple PRs. Mike avenged a PR squat that was red-lighted at Raw Nationals as well as everything else for bench, DL, and total PRs. Chris PRed his bench, dead, and total for sure – I want to say he PRed his squat on the 2nd attempt too but am not sure. They did great though, I’m happy for and proud of them. I would try to narrate the interaction between us but it’s not going to fucking make sense to anyone but us, Justin, and AC so I won’t bother.

I met some other peeps too. Met a guy named Marcus from the CF gym I used to train at who did pretty great for his first meet, my favorite lift by him was an aggressive third attempt deadlift that he got real fucking pumped for. He let me and in fact ENCOURAGED me to slap his traps which was lol, I got a lot out of that.

I met Melody, who reads this blog. Hi Melody.

Cristina and the other folks with Just Lift also lifted at a meet this past Saturday. I spent most of my Friday night texting her friend Andrew about what he was wearing, training, and high-bar vs. low-bar squats while they drove. To reiterate that – I spent most of my Friday night texting a fucking guy. It’s fine. Hi Andrew. How is your day? Let me know how your training goes tonight.

freak writes:

I hope you never get a girlfriend just so I can continue reading posts like this.


Alex writes:

Mixed sex friendships don’t work. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA]
I’ve known many guys like this in the past and it was never the case that the girl wanted to sleep with them. She enjoys the control and the fact that you do want to sleep with her and knowing that you’ll always be there and listen to her bullshit because of it.
I view it more as she doesn’t give a fuck what your opinion of her is and so she’ll tell you anything. The people who’s opinion she does care about (her boyfriend) she won’t tell for fear of it going down.

I could have cried less over this, thanks though.

criedthefox writes:

I am 26 years old, unemployed, and live with my parents. I’m one head of hair away from being George Costanza (not sure if Asians watch Seinfeld). I’m of course single…and I’m pursuing an undergraduate degree in which i’m surrounded by FUCKING 18-21 year old SMOKE SHOWS all day. I got up the nerve to befriend ONE of these smoke shows, only to have her lead me on, invite me out with her friends and then say “oh that guy over there is this guy i’ve kind of been hanging with lately” to which 10 minutes later she started making out with him 6 inches from my fucking stance. I’ve been “that friend” to every girl I’ve ever known. One girl even told me once “i can’t date you because I’d want to marry you and we can’t get married because we don’t believe in the same God”. FUCK dude. I get you. I should probably be killing myself.

I got a couple stories like that. Don’t take it personal. Keep love in your heart. It gets better. You get stronger. Then you start a blog and a surprising number of people will read and enjoy it. It won’t take away the loneliness but you will feel a little better.

See the following: Jon North on bodybuilding.com.

See also: this thread.

Leave a comment ?


  1. “They can smell it on me. I wear my vulnerability like a name tag.”

    Have you thought about wearing Lascek’s sweat as cologne?

  2. Put up some steamy pictures.

  3. Hey Brent,

    I would have gone to that meet on Saturday but I got the flu sometime last week. Also not training for about 9 weeks isn’t exactly motivating to go to a powerlifting meet either.

    I still eat like I’m training though so I’m probably just going to get fat(ter) soon. I wish you the best for 2012. I don’t think we’ll ever meet as the planets just won’t align for that day anytime soon. Maybe in the next life.

    But maybe I’ll see some picture, read a post, or seem some video that will motivate me to get back to it in the next couple weeks. Maybe I’ll stop by your gym and slap your traps without you knowing who the fuck I am. Maybe I’ll go to your place of work and drop a huge deuce on your desk. We’ll see Brent, we’ll see.

    Yours truly,


  4. On Jon North, I have no problem with people in the Public Eye being assholes. Nobody owes us shit. Except maybe Jennifer Lopez because there’s no reason she should be a celebrity and somehow people are keeping her famous.

    Also, theres only a handful of names I know to associate with American Weightlifting and Jon North is one of them so until he’s not, he can say/do whatever the fuck he wants. Mr. “Model American Set a Good Example for the Kids” is out there complaining about Jon North while waxing his asshole and, as you might say, lifting jelly dick weights, while North is working his ass off. End of story.

  5. Re: Jon North. I love his attitude. He’s having fun doing what he loves and he works his ass off. I do the same shit in my gym and I’m lifting jelly-dicked weights. Do I look like an asshole? Maybe. Do I give a shit? Nope. I’m just having fun doing something I enjoy. People giving him a hard time about being a role model…really, Really, REALLY? How many “kids” are out there watching online videos of Olympic Weightlifting? Now how many kids are watching wrestling on TV and learning how to act like ‘roided up twatbags? Get off your pedestals, haters.

    Brent, do you have an Oly meet planned in the future? I think I’m going to squeeze my skinny self into a singlet and break my competitive virginity in 2012 (but it won’t be nearly as good as the stories in that thread on BB.com, they were pure gold).

    • No one gives him a hard time for not being a good role model. That’s total strawman bullshit. People hate him because he’s an asshole. It’s like when really fucking agitating pricks say “no one likes me because I’m so honest.” No, dickbrain, no one likes you because you’re a dick.

      I think he’s writing long missives to keep his legacy going, because he knows Ian Wilson owns him for the rest of time.

      But in fact, this just seems like an expert troll by North.

      • I swear someone made the “role model” comment somewhere…if not, so be it. While I agree with your statement, a dick is a dick…I don’t think that celebrating big lifts makes you a dick. If you’ve met Jon North in person or seen an interview somewhere off the platform in which he acts like a dick, then that’s a different story. I’d like to hear what other competitive lifters think of him.

        I also doubt that Jon North knows what trolling is.

        • Thus he’s achieved a Zen-like state of troll.

        • i’ve got some friends in Monterey who say he’s a real cool and friendly guy

          if you watched the stream at the Pan American Games you could also see Jon North trying to talk to Jared Fleming while they waited for their second attempts, like “YEAH MAN C’MON THIS IS GREAT” while Fleming ignored him and listened to his ipod

        • At the AO, Jon North smiled at me as I was actively taking a bite of my chicken, bacon, and ranch flatbread sandwich at Quiznos. I texted Brent immediately to report. So there 🙂

  6. You commented on my comment! This is how internet friendships are born. I’ll tell you a story because of this. My college roommate was one of the dudes to which I was referring. He liked this girl. He was real nice to said girl. I think they even went out on a date. He then got his first kiss with this tramp. She fucked our other roommate while he was in a serious relationship with another lady, and that’s how his faith in women was destroyed.

  7. This was your funniest blog post yet.

  8. I was going to compliment that sweet lift and carry at authentic strength but my kids distracted me and I forgot.

  9. Brent, will you play D3 when it comes out or no? If not its fine, but if so what character will you be?

  10. The way Jon North always slams the bar down after a lift kinda bothers me, but shit happens and that is how he does his lifts. As far as I know his antics are not against the rules, they just go against the conventional ways of doing stuff. I’ve read that he is a pretty nice guy, and he gets shit on constantly but continues to train hard and do his thing, and you have to admire him for that. Hell some other guys do similar stuff while they lift and no one is getting their panties in a knot about that. Americans have a reputation for being confident, arrogant, and over the top therefore Jon North is as American as apple pie.

    TLDR: At least he puts on a singlet and doesn’t complain about not being able to compete cause he wants to wear a hijab.

    • I’ve always wondered why Pendlay never smacks North for spiking his equipment. Or at least chided him with a “wtf, bro?”

      but maybe he’s just like “North lifts such jellydick weights that he can’t bend my awesome bars anyway.”

  11. Hey Brent maybe if you didn’t smell like a pussy they wouldnt treat you like one. Go down to your local Walmart and pick up some of this for $5.99


    Instead of wearing your vulnerability like a name tag you will be punching their sense of smell in the face saying come at me bro with the essence of Raw Power, Game Changer, and Mascalino. I apply before all lifts and have seen over 15% strength gains.

  12. those bb.com stories were epic…the ppl that go on that website…

  13. What does he mean when he says he spit on the weight? If you spit on your weight in your facility, fine. But if that was at a competition and he spit on the weight that makes him a dick. Now the loaders gotta deal with this guys spit? Dick move. I could give a shit about any of his other antics but if this is what went down he’s a dick.

  14. “Then you start a blog and a surprising number of people will read and enjoy it. It won’t take away the loneliness but you will feel a little better.”

    That was amazing. I’ve actually copied and pasted bits of your blog into emails before so other people can enjoy the bitterness and desperation. It’s always been appreciated.

  15. Brent-
    My wife and I saw some ranger panties (what you refer to as soffe shorts) but the fabric was a graphic depiction of Korean money. We saw these in downtown Seoul. Do you need a pair?

    I sure as fuck do.

  16. Jon North is that awkwardly hyped up kid you had on your high school team that always annoyed the shit out of you during your chosen sport even though away from the playing field he was cool. You told him to shut the fuck up in practice, but during the game he actually did well so you just grinned and and bore the neverending sherade of fuckery. That’s Jon North applied to American weightlifting. Makes you cringe but then Kanye shrug after he snatches a solid number.

  17. This blog is boring as fuck…
    I’m not even going to troll it anymore.
    You’re a really average Asian guy that spends all of his time working out, talking about working out and/or associating with people that are involved in the fitness industry/are obsessed with working out…
    This shit gets old.

  18. Brent. Lurker here. But I have to interrupt this siempresolo.jpg moment to tell you that some girls — cool girls — actually like sensitive dudes. A sensitive yet mega-jacked dude is an especially powerful combination. And honestly? Honestly? HONESTLY? Some of those girls ACTUALLY WANT to sleep with their sensitive dude friends. Especially if they are mega-jacked. Figure out how to use this to your advantage (a definite alpha move), and you won’t need the Lascek sweat cologne.

    Alright, back to lurking now.

  19. http://reason.com/blog/2011/12/13/norway-has-an-acute-butter-shortage

    see! I told you it was a thing.

    From the comments:
    “people who want to lose weight by eating more butter”

    I’m interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  20. cmoney: If I ever meet you in real life and you act how you do online, I’ll beat your shit into a pulp.

  21. “Do you think two people can stay friends who aren’t sleeping together?” – Andy, The Office

  22. Your traps look good in that pic bro

  23. Brent, are those Tai Chi shoes you’re wearing in the pic?

    • Brent does Tai Chi in the Starbucks parking lot as part of his unspoken mating call to female baristas. It’s much easier than making conversation with them.

  24. strange… Brent sounds different… almost happy…

  25. I was foaming rolling today in the gym and there were a couple of SMOKESHOWS near me. i felt like brent…clueless but wanting to say something..just something but i couldn’t manage a thing. i felt like a baby foam rolling in front of them, naive and helpless. i wondered if they were slightly turned on when they saw my slightly above average size thighs…we may never know…

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