Brent Getting His Yoke On

Last night, as we were driving away from the airport to forage for food before Justin landed (we took separate flights back to DFW):

Mike, while looking at his phone: “There should be a Fuddruckers around here.”

Chris: “I don’t see it.”

This moment to me is the epitome of our interaction. The opportunity for productive communication is there – Chris could have responded with “Where is it” or “Give me directions,” but instead chose the intentionally obtuse response, “I don’t see it, therefore it doesn’t exist.”

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I woke up Saturday morning to Mike standing over me, pantomiming shaving his face violently, then looking distantly up out the window while pointing and saying “shhh.” He referenced scenes like this at least three times every hour, and had a prop to use as the razor 87% of the time.

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I spent the four hour flight to Newark, New Jersey sitting between Chris, who now apparently competes in the SPF 308lbs and under weight class, and Mike, who, before he started powerlifting, went on countless bulk and cut cycles when he didn’t have a show to do. Because of that experience, Mike is a master of controlling his body weight and can gain or lose weight pretty much just by thinking about it. He gained 30lbs in about six weeks? He was walking around at 270lbs for the meet. Anyways I sat between these two fuck faces and it fucking blew.

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Just as an aside, when we drove from the airport to forage for food, we didn’t actually find any. We drove for about 20min on the highway aimlessly and achieved nothing. Mission failed, special forces isn’t in our future. Mariah, does this sound familiar to you? It should.

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Chris took his shirt off for the deadlift. While he was walking around with the straps of his singlet down, he began flexing his left and right pecs alternately, which turned into saying, “COME ON DO IT KILL ME I’M HERE DO IT NOW” while flexing his pecs. Two ladies in the warm-up room, one of whom is a USAPL official from Texas, loved it.

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While training with Justin at a black-iron gym in Scranton called Peffer’s Gym, we met a guy from the 101st who was pretty cool, just this fucking guy who didn’t give a shit about periodization, Starting Strength, or ratios who benched 315lbs for reps and was a pretty jacked 240lbs. He told me to get off the books and catch some sun and vitamin D. He asked me if I was a mathematician, and when I told him I took x-rays he said, “Oh you seemed like you did something in mechanical engineering or some shit.” He also told me and Justin to go to several bars to get some tail and said it’d be easy for Justin, then pointed to me and said “you, too, two guys who are in shape, you’d get some action real easy.” I said ok.

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The girl from work I mention in the post below this one called me from work on Saturday night.

“Hey Brent, it’s Angie, some friends and I were going to go out and I was wondering if you wanted to come out with us.”

I look at Mike, Chris, Chad, and Justin in the loud, obnoxious college bar we were eating at and said, “I would actually love to go out with you tonight but I’m in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I would much rather hang out with you than the fuck heads I’m with right now.”

“You’re where?”

“Scranton, Pennsylvania. I’m getting filmed for The Office.”

“You’re lying. Are you really?”

“No not really but I really am in Scranton. I would have liked to go out with you though. Maybe next time.”

“Oh okay. Well I guess I’ll see you when you get back. Bye, I hope you have fun in Scranton!”

Guess I’ll fucking kill myself.

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I’ll let the guys do their own recap, I don’t really give a fuck about lifting anymore and if you haven’t seen my announcement on the 70s big facebook I am officially retiring from competition to train for flexing in the mirror and slaying mildly attractive pussy. They all did great though, they all missed a few attempts here and there but PRed nonetheless. Chad killed his 3rd attempt dead, something like a 15-20lbs PR like it was an 80% lift, Mike PRed on squat and bench, Chris PRed on bench and deadlift. I shoveled shit and played StarCraft 2.

Mike Kim asks:

do you think those korean star craft professionals take drugs like ritalin and adderall and cocaine.

I fucking hope so.

Some fucking guy asks:

brent u never reply to any of the comments. so how long of a “break” are u taking to rest?

I took a few days off and started rehab by day 4 which was bodyweight squats and progressed each day from there, and on Saturday I did 275lbs for a few sets of 10. RDLs started last Wednesday I think, first with the bar, then 135lbs, and on Sat I did 155lbs for like 13. Improvement has been good, and the hamstrings get less tight and feels more normal after every workout. I don’t think I can pull heavy or do the snatch or clean yet, still feels like it could pull on squats and RDLs if I move too violently.

CoolStoryBro asks:

Brent what do you reccomend for guys that cant bench their bodyweight for worksets on linear progression? Im thinking something along the lines of killing myself.

You should only kill yourself if you’re a pussy virgin mormon about it and bitch and moan and make excuses for why you’re not stronger. We all have our own obstacles to overcome. Be consistent and work hard. If that doesn’t work for you, just post on the Starting Strength boards and pretend people give a fucking shit.

A bunch of fucking guys ask:

lol there is sure a lot of negative comments. however, i would really like to know why u hate frank yang.

Because he’s fucking Frank Yang? Have you seen his videos? Have you read his blog? There really shouldn’t be any question.

Hey guys I’m gonna go I’ll talk to you here in a little bit.