Learn to cook

“Winky Dinky Hocake. Cause hoes got to eat, too.”

(Good luck with that one)

I am not very creative with titles, so there you go. Learn to cook.

Cooking for yourself ensures that you get exactly what you need to get 70’s Big. It is also more cost effective than eating out and (hopefully) a hell of a lot cleaner. And it’s a useful skill to have. Modern man should know the difference between a Wok and a saucepan.

I realized early on that most girls my age weren’t spending much time in the kitchen and that if I wanted to keep eating well, I would have to feed myself. Fortunately my mom was (and still is) a good cook. She taught me the basics of cooking and how to make my favorite dishes. I learned a few more things over the years and, at some point, became a moderately competent cook.

So learn. That is all there is to it. Help your mom/wife/girlfriend/mistress/live-in-tranny. Watch a cooking show. Take a class. Do whatever you need to do to learn to cook. You would be surprised at how simple some of your favorite dishes are to make.

Your first assignment is an easy one. Make some Texas Chili this weekend. To help with this, Jacob Cloud has sent in a video. This video has everything: history, training, Texas beer, mild hazing, and skillet corn bread! Yes!

Here is his recipe list:
2 lbs course ground beef
2.5 lbs tri-tip, trimmed and cubed
1 can peeled whole tomatoes
1 can Rotel
1-2 minced jalapenos (more or less depending on how spicy you want it)
4-5 crushed/minced garlic cloves
1/2-1 cup chopped white onion
1/4-1/2 cup chopped cilantro
Lime juice from 1 large lime
Thickener (corn starch, masa, flour, etc)
6 pack of Texan beer

Chili Mix (all measurements heaping!):
2-3 tbsp chili powder
1+ tbsp cumin
1 tsp ancho chili powder
1 tsp chipotle chili powder
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp Mexican oregano leaves
1-2 tsp black pepper (to taste)
1-2 tsp salt (to taste)

Jacob notes that you can be a real man by adding some habanero peppers to the mix. You can also make JM Blakely happy by using MSG instead of salt (like they do in chili cookoffs).

So go forth and make chili. Then shove a 90’s small guy into a snow drift.

Happy eating.

Note: Andy Gann also provided a recipe that looks outstanding. This will be on the updated FAQ when I get to it this weekend.

Note: Yes, it’s PR Friday. Post weights lifted, gained, or consumed.

80 thoughts on “Learn to cook

  1. Hit a 200lb PC at 158lbs BW…I know I know, but I”m planning to compete in a PL”ing meet in a couple months and want to see if I can stay in the 165lb class. After that, I”ll start on the path to becoming an adult male.

    Justin, quick question? I did 270lbs squat today for 2×3 (intensity day), and I took a video on someone else”s camera. I noticed that even though my hands were in the same position, my right arm went further back, and when I went into the hole my torso leaned into the right noticeably. It”s not a knees out issue because even when I”m standing with the weight it happens
    If I want to temporarily solve the problem, I need to adjust my grip. Should I put my right hand a little wider on the bar than the left to compensate? Thanks.

  2. “These are gonna give it an nice flavor… just trust me.” Awesome videos, Jacob. There are a couple crock pots sitting in the kitchen here at my office… they”re just begging to be taken him with me.

    BW: 180
    Squat: 325x3x5
    Bench Press: 205x3x5

    I”m confident I could weigh more right now, if my fucking fridge wasn”t broken. Had to throw out a lot of meat and egg nog. Pissed.

  3. 10lbs pr in press
    10lbs pr in power clean
    all others are weights i”ve already done in the past and i”m just getting the strength back up. but i will say that 145 on the bench never felt so easy.

  4. oh, shirt pr. i”m starting to get that bad mofo look, big wide shoulders and mountainous traps(both upper and lower)

    just bought a new pair of shoes(more hard soled than chuck”s and have a tiny bit of hill), today was my first time with the belt, used it for the last set of presses. it wasn”t tightened as much as i”d like it to be, i”m like 3/4 of an inch away from the tight spot, i think i”ll suck in ma” belly

    amazingly, no weight gain pr”s, i”ve been eating 4300 for two weeks and now i”m not gaining weight, guess i”ll take it up to 5000.

  5. sorry for the 3rd post but as far as nutrition goes. i need to bump up the calories, and i”m already eating a crap load of protein relative to my weight(about 300g a day, and i”m weighing 183lbs), carbs sucks donkey balls, can i just drink olive oil and peanut butter?

    last thing, today i plugged the toilet again. i”m going to crap a bit, then flush, then continue crapping. bought the fibre thingy today too.

  6. Jacob, thanks for the Chili recipe.

    New Backsquat working set PR.
    310 for 3 sets of 5 reps.

    Can”t wait till next workout to finally have 6 plates on the bar.

  7. Squats at 315x3x5 and stuck
    Press 152x3x5 and going up
    Bench at 270x3x5 and going up
    Deadlift at 370x3x5 and going up

    Started doing powercleans this week at 170x3x3. Horrible form and I feel like I”m going to slap my junk on the bar on the way up. We”ll see how it goes. Rugby season starts tomorrow so we”ll see how strength training balances out with less time and more soreness

  8. Squats: 289x5x3 (Prev 1RM 290)
    Press: 148x5x3 (Prev 1RM 155)
    Bench: 249x5x3 (Prev 1RM 260)
    Power clean: 190x3x5 (Prev 1RM 200)
    Deadlift: 385x5x1 (Prev 1RM 375)
    Weight: 201 (up from 184 in Nov.)
    Food: Finally manned up and started 1/2 GOMAD, soon to progress up to GOMAD.
    Clothes: Uniform pants are starting to resemble UnderArmour tights in the hips and thighs, which will soon require a few hundred dollars of tailoring/new uniforms. Oh well.

    Prev 1RMs are all from early November before I started CFWF programming.

  9. squat 330 3×5
    bench 265 3×5 almost got 27- but biffed the last rep

    press 165 3×5
    deadlift 325 1×5

    that shake post a while ago has got my weight up to 210 from 200 in the past month or so. all my lifts have improved as well.. with little or no eggs.. live by those fuckin monster shakes and meat

  10. Deadlift 450 x 1 x 5
    Squat 275 x 5 x 3

    Also had to buy a new set of uniform pants for a wedding I was in. Increased by 5 sizes. My old pair could barely stretch over my thigh”s, let alone close around my waist. The only downside is all these clothes are gettin” expensive! Might hafta hit up the thrift store…

    The best part is my wife is 100% on board. For Christmas she bought me some high socks and a 2XL 70”s big shirt so I could “grow into it.” I”m a lucky man.

  11. bodyweight pr 205 and rising

    friday oly squats 260 5×5, 315×1

    whole rack of spareribs, huge pulled pork sandwich and a quart of milk for lunch.

  12. 20 squats @ 100kg. (failed at 15 reps on Friday)
    Only two weight increases now to the point where i”ll be doing 20 reps at my old 5RM (kind of).
    12 dead hang pull ups. (PR)

  13. squat 255x5x3

    bench 175x5x2 175×4

    dead 295×5

    press 110x5x3

    chinups bw+50x5x3

    BW 160

    height: 5”8.. only thing on this list that isn”t a PR

  14. PRs this week:
    3 x strangers: “wow you really have an appetite!”
    1 x “you just carried that girl away like it was nothing!”
    Press 3×5 70#
    Bench 5×5 90#
    DL 3×3 185# overhand & 1rm 205#
    7 Strict pullups
    Weight 148# …I have to be honest, I have mixed feelings about this one. But all my pants still fit, so I guess it”s okay…

  15. Chili came out awesome. 5 or 6 hours. Tastes really good the day after. Used Fat Tire instead of Shiner. Used chuck roast (fat) and coarse ground grass-fed (not too fatty, very meaty). Boiled uncovered for last 45-1hr instead of using thickener. Super easy to make. Thanks.

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