SilentMachinery writes:
When Justin wrote that post about antagonistic motivation, I thought of how much I hate you Brent.
It’s funny that you’d say that because when he wrote that post I thought of how much I fucking hated myself, too.
When I first moved to Plano I was training at a globo gym called Express Fitness. It would have been a decent place to train if the bars weren’t 31-32mm in diameter. It was like 17.99 a month which I think was pretty good. I stopped training there because I was doing oly stuff at CF Dallas Central for a little bit and thought LA Fitness was a better globo for the PL-oriented stuff. On a related tangent, the Gold’s here is also not a bad globo, lots of room around the squat racks so you can dead and power clean + press, the bench racks are not terribly well made and the top rack is 1-2 inches too tall to bench out of. For me at least, I’m 5’5″, normal sized humans might fit it better. Otherwise, I wouldn’t mind catching a pump there doing things not needing a good bench.
Anyways when I first signed up at the Express Fitness the head trainer was this jock kines major dude who was fairly jacked and shredded. Real stereotypical dude with one of those stock jacked guy accents. He was pretty nice to me, wasn’t a dickhead about stuff, asked me about my goals and what I trained for, if I was interested in a trainer.
“Nah,” I said, sitting there weighing a chubby 178lbs with 15″ arms and a 34″ waist, “I kinda compete in powerlifting, I handle my own programming.” Whenever people ask me if I compete, I never say Olympic weightlifting, because I’m fucking tired of having to explain the fucking difference, and I’m fucking tired of having to demonstrate what the snatch and clean-and-jerk are. I just don’t fucking care anymore. I just want to get done with all that shit so I can do my curls and db lat delt raises. Sometimes I even omit that I’m competing, because I’m sick of people saying it doesn’t look like I lift, or that I’m not that big. I’m just fucking done with it. All right, whatever, I don’t look like I fucking lift, the only reason you can tell is because all of my t-shirts are related to lifting or mobbing (or suicide), I get it, go fuck yourself.
“Cool brah,” he said – that is to say, I’m not surprised that this chubby fucking Asian dude thinks he is hot shit because he benches 225lbs for reps. High school called, they want you to know it’s OK to be a late bloomer.
Anyways, at the end of me signing up, he did the typical selling memberships thing – “So hey man, you got any friends around here? You get one to sign up, you get ten dollars off your monthly dues, pay 7.99 a month. You know anybody?”
“No,” I said, “I don’t have any friends around here right now.”
“Really?”
“Yeah uh I mean I just moved here and I don’t really go out much.”
He makes a face. “Well all right man whatever. Anyways yeah, you make a friend or something, make him your workout buddy, bring him here, save some money off your dues.”
“All right.” Then I proceeded to not make any friends for the next six or seven months I trained there. In fact, I fucking made enemies. I asked this older dude grumpy looking dude – who was probably just pissed that he wasn’t on HRT – for a spot, and he proceeded to give me the most begrudging spot in the history of spotted benching. The guy acted like I pissed in his fucking corn flakes. Not only was he pissed at me for asking for a spot, he went on to critique my form on the bench – “Most of the reps were good, but you bounced the last one off your chest a little.” Hey man thanks, I’ll run that by R&D and see what they can do with it.
[spoiler show=”I could have written less.”]On Friday I pulled 440lbs for three singles and they weren’t that hard. I haven’t pulled 440lbs this easily since, like, more than two years ago. I could have pulled it for like a double maybe. Hook-grip held on fine. Best deadlift ever is 440lbs x 3 with a mixed grip at 180lbs bw.
Saul had me try the poor man GHRs that you do off a lat pulldown … essentially a bodyweight hamstring curl. Some pretty gnarly, peak hamstring contraction. The regular GHR at the gym is not built that great and I haven’t figured out how to set my hips and feet correctly (the foot pads are adjusted in an arc, as opposed to being able to move them separately in two planes) so the GHRs off the lat pulldown are honestly better as far as the hamstring curl element. I’ve done them two or three times so far. Is it unfeasible that these helped hit my distal hamstrings and made my pulls feel a substantial bit easier off the floor?
If it wasn’t the GHRs and subsequent development of the distal hams, then it was me hitting the piriformis and tack-and-stretching my high hamstrings and glutes with hip flexion as opposed to knee articulation. I def think the GHRs have helped.
I sucked at benching though. Took my last warm-up at 275lbs and thought I could put away 290lbs for a single and ended up getting stapled by it twice. Good.
If you guys are in the market for another catch phrase to use, start saying “Good.” Say it whenever something the opposite of good happens, or to voice approval for things that you don’t approve of.
On Sunday I did a bunch of shit that mostly sucked, I pressed 175lbs for 3, 2, 3, 1, 1, power cleaned + hang cleaned up to 245lbs, cleaned 265lbs, front squat 355lbs for two singles (back may have been tired from deads?), and did some barbell rowing, curls, and lat delt db raises.
enlightenedsnipe writes:
Hey Brent, at least you aren’t pressing jelly weight for mediocre PRs, then missing bench singles at 225 three times in one week. It’s fine…
I’ll just go back to mobbing my scaps, traps, and tris. At least the pain there means something is getting better.
The pain is the only thing that’s real.
Hey man – I am definitely pressing jelly-dicked weight for mediocre PRs. Trust me. I do it every press workout.
Welp, see ya later! writes:
Justin, thanks for the link. I guess a big part of my question is what is the potential of this mobbing stuff to remedy real chronic stuff like what I’m dealing with that has been present for literally years? I mean I know it’s good for me, and it helps me move better in the here and now, and it can prevent more damage…but is there other stuff I need to do to make the longstanding damage that has already been done go away? Because it’s pretty well-established now, you know? These are just general thinking-out-loud questions, so don’t feel compelled to respond.
Pretty high potential. PT is meant for this kind of shit. A lot of people are under the assumption that “mobility” is just about ROM and flexibility – but when we talk about mobility we’re also talking about starting positions, bottom positions, we’re talking about efficient joint articulation (i.e. do I have enough glenohumeral internal rotation to snap the bar overhead in the snatch while keeping my shoulders back? Do I have the capacity to keep the knees out with my toes forward? Am I silk over steel springs, or do I have soft-tissue or postural limitations that are causing me to leak force out of my movement?), we’re talking about moving in a way that protects our tissues. One of the biggest reasons we got chronically inflamed tissue is because of poor movement. Mobility is about restoring the ability to move correctly and with good mechanics in addition to treating soft tissue or joint articulation problems.
So stop being a fucking dickhead and holding yourself back.
karibot writes:
Okay, I’m super feminist, but that shit is cray cray. The friendzone knows no gender. The friendzone does not discriminate. The friendzone is equally cruel to all.
brb, scrolling through texts and listening to this:
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfJsrJ-lKGc]
immediately followed by this:
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0cC-7J_wi8]
BRB knowthatfeelbro.jpg too much.
Chris writes:
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35o2pi/ I accomplished this. Haven’t talked to her since September 24, 2010. http://i41.tinypic.com/3313jh0.jpg
The meme really does inspire being an adult about your feelings. That and this flowchart have been my emotional guide for the past few months. They help a lot.
Mark writes:
How many blogs are you reading? All I read is this, 70′s big Mainsite, then Stroup’s, Vale’s Tyspkin’s, etc, one or twice a week.
I read all my friend’s blogs because I like reading what they think about. I don’t read any fitness or strength blogs other than Justin’s. I can’t handle most other blogs because most of the people writing about lifting fucking blow at writing. Glenn Pendlay’s is all right, he has a personality and has good stories to tell because he trains legit athletes.
Josh writes:
Im at work right now. sitting in a room with a guy who unsuccessfully tried to blow his head off, (im a nurse) is it wierd that it reminded me of you, except that I thought that you would be much more successful. I was thinking about how unhappy this guy was and how much more shitty his life is going to be now that half of his face is missing and he is still alive. IMO we could all learn alot from this guy. GUN TO THE TEMPLE NOT UNDER THE CHIN! BTW you should go after white chicks. They have much lower standards than asian chicks.
If I were going to kill myself I’d park my car in a garage and close the door behind me and leave the engine running. Then I’d play this song:
and wait to die when Thom sings
I’ll take a quiet life,
a handshake of carbon monoxide,
with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
Silent silence.[/spoiler]
“High school called, they want you to know it’s OK to be a late bloomer.”
This made me LOL for real, it couldn’t be more relative to me. 27 years old and I can still only bench 275…no big deal. It’s OK that my upper body lags in strength by about 10% compared to my lower half. Really guys, it’s fine. I hear ladies love grasshopper-type bodies.
I almost faceplanted off of that GHR the first time I used it because I was not prepared for the roll-ey front part. There were people watching. Good.
Brent,
How does this make you feel?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=887Glv9BSkg
Related: I attempted a c+J PR from an un-organized position yesterday. MWOD penance: http://www.mobilitywod.com/2011/10/episode-329365-pumpkin-patch-back-halloween-herniation.html
Brent, are you still using a more toe-forward stance whence squatting, ala K-Star? You mentioned it a few months back.
yes
Would you say its good?
No, he hates it. That’s why he uses it.
Just put more plates on the bar, it will be okay.
Brent have you ever thought about doing another dreamer bulk? And if your bulk fails and you just get fat, tell people you have a thyroid problem.
He’s hopefully going to be doing a bulk where by he puts on muscle eating lots of meat and potatoes soon. As soon as he stops competing in bodyweight based sports that encourage him being small.
I think this post is Good.
Hey Brent,
http://alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/happy-i-see-what-you-did-there-l.png
this whole spoiler to attract site hits is a huge turn off. Like, just let me read this in my RSS reader in peace, and I’ll come over to comment when I get the urge.
Also how fucking awful is the Arnold Classic website? I can’t figure out when shit is happening. Very annoying.
I am going to San Fransico in July. I plan on doing a full on stalk of KStarr. Interested in going?
Brent,
have you used the “RumbleRoller”?
If so, is it worth purchasing?
❓
I didn’t lift in high school. I cannot bench 225 for reps. I don’t give a fuck its a bullshit high school lift anyway. When I think of bench pressing I think of a bunch of hairless high school pieces of shit standing around the shower measuring each other’s dicks with a ruler broken off at the 4 inch line. Then in college they all say to each other “i used to bench 320 in high school” “oh man i could only hit 315” when you know they probably never got above 250 because they look like they couldn’t bench a fucking pretzel rod.
fucking bench, dude. bullshit.
Sounds like you have some firsthand experience with that dick measuring
nah, that 4 inch ruler makes my dick look small so I never felt comfortable joining in. i was the king of the girls shower though, biggest clit in the room.
congrats
Shunning the bench when you can’t even get 225 for reps is a bullshit dickless move. Let’s see if it’s still a high school lift when you can bench four plates.
In all seriousness, i’ll never bench four plates. no desire to, but i do respect those who can and I do respect the lift. If I ever even hit three plates I would be happy. It’s honestly not a strong lift for me and for some reason I just don’t beat off to the thought of the lift like I do Squat and Press. Maybe that’s because I DIDN’T lift in high school and go through that phase of bench being the ultimate measure of adolescent dick size? Probably it’s just because I’m a pussy.
So where can I drop this thing off?
Having hidden content in your posts is like coming home to find a UPS package at the door, then while opening it FedEx shows up to drop off another.
Yes.
The blogger that posts twice as much posts half as often…
I like criedthefox’s comment. I just remembered its valentines day.
/killselfalongwitheverygirlwhoeverputmeinthefriendzone
Mr. Kim,
Happy Valentine Day, You good, everything OK?
In 9 Words relate Flynnt Flossy’s “Dance” to Valentine Day. Thanks for your support. Stay tight through the tunnel of movement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxi73RQlLB8
I enjoyed this dance video
@Josh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvzrewTxQPU
Well, I feel like a real idiot having pulled a neck muscle doing a routine pullup. It looks like I’ll be turning at the waist to look at things the next few days, is there a mob for this?
Signing up at gyms is easily one of the most excruciating activities anyone who trains properly can engage in.
I was told I should do hamstring cable curls to get my deadlift up….
Hey Brent, what do you think of these posters up between the two squat racks in my gym?
http://postimage.org/image/z06i2stnp/
http://postimage.org/image/3kvna1tpj/
good to know that the bullshit hysteria about anabolics isnt limited to the united states.
I was going to juice until I learned I might develop irregular menstrual cycles.
The previous time I renewed my membership at the gym the cunt behind the counter took my cash and fucked off without putting me on the books. It’s that kind of place. I renewed it again today, got given a free tub of Creatine tabs. NOW I CAN FINALLY GET TEH RESULTZ BRAHS!
But at what cost? Aren’t you afraid of developing a heart condition? What about roid rage? What would your family and friends think? You dont have to take shortcuts, dave h.
On a cold Friday afternoon, I had come home from school. I had been thinking of the gym all day. I was hungry, didn’t have any lunch. In fact, I didn’t eat because I spent the money. For the past month I was saving up for something. Something special which I bought at GNC. I was surprised they didn’t ask for ID; I was pretty sure the cashier noticed how nervous I was. Anyways, my mom asked my how my day was when I got home, but I ignored her. I have more important things to do. I run to the bathroom and unpack my bag. In my school bag is a white plastic bag from GNC. I open the bag, first removing the receipt and flushing it down the toilet to get rid of the evidence. My heart was racing now. I unpack the creatine monster from the bag.
I wonder what people will be asking me when they see that I will be 50lbs heavier. Should I say I was just eating a lot? I remove the label from the tub and tear it into a thousand small pieces. I flush that down the toilet, too. It is time now. I run up to my room when my mom ask me what I am holding. I panic, sweat drips down my forehead and my teeth chatter. “Mom, it’s just for a school project”. “What project?” “I don’t know mom I just started it!”. A tear runs down my cheek. I run upstairs and open the creatine, scooping upservings into a clear water bottle. What have I gotten myself into? I fill it with water and drink it. There is no turning back now. The creatine monster is inside me now, it will control me. What should I do if I die? I cant let my family know about this.
I open the creatine tub and throw it all out the window; a white cloud of mysterious dust sparkles into the wind so graciously. I feel the substance taking control of me; I am now the monster. I walk downstairs, its time to work out; time to get big. Now I worry, I don’t want to get too big; people will think I use steroids. I do use steroids. No I don’t. Creatine. All I see is the weights now, I am almost downstairs when I hear “Do you want a cookie I just baked”. I know I do not have time for this **** now. “No mom I do not want a cookie” I walk in the basement and drop to my knees before the weights, tears running down my cheeks. I turn to the right and look at myself in the mirror. Oh god, what have I done?
Funnily enough, that’s exactly what happened to me as well.
This is one of my favorites.
Hey Brent,
Do you really know what it’s like to have a girlfriend? Unless you date someone who also trains, say goodbye to your gains and PRs. Unless she knows about nutrition, say goodbye to low carb, Paleo, and anything else that’s not “normal.”
You’re still young Brent. These are your prime anabolic years. Use them to get jacked and shredded. If you can keep it up for another decade, you’ll have to fight off the pussy. And the older you get, the younger it’ll get. Peace bro.
whatthefuckamIreading?
I got my gf into training and we don’t share food (we live together.) We go to the store together, but I’m not some faggot pushover– I just buy different shit. What’s she going to do? Complain? OHWELL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2jAwiq6YsE
it just sounds like you’ve dated some sub par broads
It’s funny because I doubt either of you guys have ever fucked a female.
MFW:
http://beatme101.com/images/CD-i%20Link.jpg
broseph can we meet
Absolutely. 😮
Dear Brent,
I am going to compete this Saturday. USAPL, raw, 181lbs class. I am going to high-bar. My bench is going to be within 30lbs of my max squat prolly. I am a beta piece of shit. Should I just fucking kill myself?
Hey Brent,
This is my second comment within one post…a record! I know reading fitness blogs sometimes feels like a leper diarrhead in your mouth. I generally take long, hot showers after reading too many. But have you ever stumbled over to Chaos and Pain? It’s quite full of fun-time Machismo. The latest post on dealing with women in the gym is quite relevant to your current state of existence.
http://chaosandpain.blogspot.com/2012/02/leave-britney-alone.html
The Chaos and Pain blog has its moments but the guy’s taken his whole “I’m an asshole” thing a bit too far just for the sake of it. Like you can be successful without being a dick y’know?
Brent, can you write some more of your depressive erotic short stories?
The ones you wrote a few weeks back was some of the best things I have ever read – especially ‘Lesbian’. Great useage of the word ‘clam’.
I just rolled out my achilles tendons on an old cast iron dumbbell I have. It could have hurt more.
Brent,
I’m an RD at a long term care center (I realize that I need to kill myself)
Anyway
So I’m in the bathroom and the door opens.
I thought it was locked, just like you
and it’s this resident that has pretty bad confusion/dementia
so I’m all “uh, I’m in here”
and he closes the door
but the guy had advanced dementia
so he just opens the door again a few moments later like “oh hey, it’s the bathroom, this is what I wanted nothing wrong with this”
Made me think of you. Hope you had a happy valentines day.
Got a Jumpstretch band. Using it to fix my hips. My left hip is really fucked.
I peed a little when I watched that video curt. I’ll tell that guy when i go back to work tomorrow. Shotgun to the Dick asshole. Stop trying to get attention.
Your arms aren’t 15″ don’t make this up.
Brent, I found a webcomic that ends with a question that I think you have an answer to: PRs.
See for yourself:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2522#comic
y u no make new blog entry!? ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)
yes where new blog entry!?!?!?
I need my brent news!
Maybe he’s gotten laid?
The people in the apartment next door are probably starting to wonder what that smell is.
In regards to girls, Brent, at least you are not like this LexG fellow. Check out Comment #7.
http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2012/02/wells_to_lexaga.php
Brent,
I really want to know your opinion on this shizz.
where the fuark are you kimbrah?
I think we better get a methane probe over to his apartment.
brent?
Brent?
how does jeremy lin make you feel??? jealous??? like you want to kill yourself??? or what?? how does he make you feel???
Looks like Brent finally did it.
I’ll play an appropriate radio head song in your honor during my run on Saturday.
Brent,
I feel meh and I don’t know how to talk about it.
criedthefox Says:
February 23rd, 2012 at 7:56 pm
justin,
is brent ok?
“He’s fine and happy.
–Justin”
We all know what Brent means when he says fine, and “happy” could be the new “good” which is already new in the first place.
please respond
brent where are you? i miss reading your post during my down time at work.
FORGET ABOUT HIM HE’S GONE
death by mobwod?
😥
http://i41.tinypic.com/c7yo1.jpg
Is anyone else slightly worried? Gone with nary a goodbye, just like that.
Im afraid he left the oven on.
I think he must have killed himself after watching Frank Yang’s new video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UypPzWpKUNM&feature=player_embedded#!
I’d kill myself too if I sat through a 15 minute Frank Yang video…
maybe he accidentally ate some corn-fed beef and his body went into shock.
or better yet he could have gotten a girlfriend and doesn’t have time for us anymore………NAAAAH!
For all Atlanta readers, I’m hosting a candlelight vigil tomorrow night at the boba tea place in Doraville. I’ll probably get there around 7:45 and put some Radiohead on my Ipod speakers.
No one should show up, he’d like that. 😥
In honor of Brent, we should all start working on our delts more.
I will be incorporating lateral dumbbell raises this week.
I will be live streaming a 21-gun salute in his honor. We will be using potato guns and firing sweet potatoes.
hope they’re organic.
I’ll be setting up a hall of mirrors so I can watch myself curl from every angle.
Brent is still alive, and hasn’t forgotten about us.
http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab119/sushi362/brent.png
In before the grand writing project thing turns out to be a 200 page piece of mobility based erotic literature.
“You like my balls huh you dirty little bitch, yeah roll them lacrosse balls on your IT band unnnghhhhhhh”
he has written this. I’ve seen it.
How could anyone ever forget about you, Vamshi?
IDK.
you tell me.
Brent has fans, but no girlfriend. I wonder if he has girlfans?
brent has a girlfriend…
Brent you have girlfriend?
Yes, dad.
Does she get good grade.
Yes, dad.
Is she doctor?
No, dad.
You are no son of mine.
careful, it might just be one of those “gay BFF” deals.
is brent the gay bff?
Obviously he’s planning on releasing his own line of supplements and using this hiatus to build suspense. I’m assuming they’ll be called beta male.
dear brent,
http://imgur.com/gallery/yihit
enjoy.
is Brent going to the Arnold?
i think he’s selling foam rollers at a booth at the expo.
haha. i think he just wants to see how long this thread of comments will get.
I suggest we abandon this blog and move onto ac, chris and mikes blog. Brent has abandoned us.
DRY LAND IS NOT A MYTH, I’VE SEEN IT!