Re: mocha poll, I guess 60-70% of my readers are assholes, it’s fine, brb having 20-30 people post in the comments while at least another 170 lurk, that’s not fucking creepy at all.

Gonna talk a lot about mobbing and training so here’s a spoiler tag for those of you who read this blog waiting for reasons other than you want to know how pumped my quads feel in my soffes.

[spoiler effect=”simple”]
Thursday night I snatched up to 205lbs off the boxes, from below the knee. I attempted 215 and 225lbs a few times and shoveled shit obviously. I also cleaned up to 290lbs twice and failed to jerk it both times it’s fucking fine. I did high-bar back squat 420lbs x 3 though for a PR, then 405lbs for two more triples, that was pretty OK.

The fitness model/PL chick was there that night, I don’t know how I survived.

Tonight I snatched up to 215lbs, missed 230 and 235lbs, then c+jed up to 270lbs and missed a 290lbs clean. This will have been the third day I went after max attempts in the lifts so I mean it’s fucking fine.

Benched 245lbs x 5, felt pretty good so went 250lbs x 5, 5, 4. Which would be a pretty OK bench day. At my best I benched 250lbs for 2 or 3 sets of 5. I did the best shoulder mob ever before this workout and I couldn’t have felt better going into the bench, that and having done some tack-and-stretch on my tris just above the elbow and whatever bands I felt higher up the arm just made me feel pretty good. The weighted ring dips seem to also have helped a lot with my ability to grind through lock-outs.

RDLed 365lbs x 6, 5, these were pretty hard. Some mob things I’ve been doing before squats and deads is rolling out my high hamstrings/glutes with a lacrosse ball and hunting for bands, and also some high hamstring flossing with joint approximation. The fucking lacrosse ball to hamstring/glute is real fucking good, keeping knees out gets a lot easier and it just feels like so much more shit is being utilized. Hip flexion + external rotation bias is also a pretty big deal as far as making going into the hole in the squats and has become part of my pre-workout ritual.

I basically always do couch stretch and hip flexion + external rotation before every workout now, and one or two upper body mobs dependent on what I’m doing that day. I like the best shoulder mob ever for pressing but will also roll out external rotators/peri-scapular region –> all the way across to lateral deltoid, double lacrosse ball to t-spine for the oly lifts. Joint approximation with the hips makes my bottom position feel too loose if done immediately before so I typically plan to do those the night before. I consider those my everday homework for minimum credit. Suprapatellar tack-and-stretch and the analog for the tris I’ll do after some nasty benching/pressing/squatting and while it can be pretty unpleasant it pays dividends in my fucking life. [/spoiler]

Did some lat raises and barbell curls, I’ve been focusing on slow negatives and it’s been pretty good for the pump.

My aunt’s pomeranian died, that dog was her fucking life. His name was Oscar. He was a fluffeh white ball who spent the last years of life a diabetic going blind and deaf. My aunt was the kind of dog owner who had no problem with administering Oscar’s insulin shots twice a day at 6am and again at 6pm, and in fact in her mind it was yet another way of expressing her undying affection for the little guy. I liked him more than my grandma’s pomeranian who is a real fucking piece of shit, brb exploding into an orange ball of fury and biting you for getting up off the couch? Fuck that guy. His name is Benjamin. Caesar Milan needs to pay that motherfucker a visit. Benjamin used to be house trained until he moved in with my aunt along with my grandma, and now he’s not, so instead of re-house-training him they just put him in a fucking diaper. It’s fine. The guy’s a fucking piece of shit, he doesn’t deserve dignity.

So I brought my aunt flowers, and as with any visit with my family the following conversation ensues:

Aunt: “Brent do you have a girlfriend yet?”
Brent: “No.”
Aunt: “Why not?”
Brent: “I dunno.” – I DO know, it’s because I didn’t hook up with some fucking Asian chick in high school, date her for 7 years, and then marry her before I was fucking ready like a smarter guy in my position would have done, but I can’t tell her that.
Aunt: “How old are you now?”
Brent: “Twenty-five.”
Aunt: “You need to get one soon.”
Brent: “OoohKAY.”

Later with my grandma,

Aunt: “Brent still doesn’t have a girlfriend yet.”
Grandma: “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”
Brent: “I don’t know.”
Grandma: “Go out and make one.” <– something that was funny to me was that she legit used the Korean word "to make," brb assembling a realdoll.
Aunt: “What do you think about this girl?” – gesturing towards an actress in the Korean drama they were watching.
Brent: “That’s very helpful thank you.”

I didn’t say “that’s very helpful” but I did say “not really” which they thought was funny because the chick in question was a real fucking virgin about some lame fucking shit. Helpful hint guys, Korean dramas, while they may seem novel, quite frankly aren’t that great.

I just want to clarify that I hadn’t heard of a realdoll until I watched Lars and The Real Girl, which was an OK movie but could have been better. It is also a lot better than the trailer makes it look like. It’s pretty watchable. Don’t ask me how I heard about this movie. Or why I thought it’d be a good idea to watch. Or whether or not it made me cry.

Have I told you guys I’m the only son on my dad’s side of the family? I have four girl cousins on my dad’s side. They couldn’t be less helpful right now. What is the best way to tell my dad that his blood line is gonna die with me?

asdf asks:

Why is your oly lift/back squat ratio so poor? Don’t get me wrong, you’re a strong as fuck dude, but it seems like you should be able to snatch and cj more given your squatting strength.

Why are you such an asshole? Don’t get me wrong, your assessment of my strength is flattering, but it seems like you want me to quit training and spend my new-found free time playing tag with a corgi at a dog park. Which honestly? Honestly? Honestly? Doesn’t sound that bad.

I don’t know man I’m a fucking garbage athlete is that what you want to hear!?!?!?!?? Because that is all I can tell you right now.

Paulo writes:

So I go to the weightlifting club tonight peppering my angus for getting called out for high hip start, bar to close to my shin etc. Fuck. Thoughts on bar position over the foot during the snatch vs/ deadlift? Brb low hip start so I’m like every other fucking lifter. Brb Rip has confused the fuck out of me. Brb my favourite lifters rep a lower start. Brb lascek now looks like low hip start on C&J. mybrainisfulloffuck.jpeg

Thoughts? Stay safe.

Don’t be an asshole. Pull with lower hips and squat high-bar.

Update: Hey guys I got a poll:

[poll id=”2″]

Snatched up to 230lbs, cleaned 290lbs twice and missed the jerk both times. I could be a better athlete. I was being a real gordon fuck about dipping straight up-and-down, first rep went behind me, second rep was out in front and not that strong of an attempt.

Finished up with weighted chins, +75lbs x 4, and 3×5 barbell rows at 225lbs. I could have a stronger upper back.

I watched this episode of mwod last night and tried it out today – harder to do with the snatch, I’m not sure how flat I can get my back with straight legs and still hold onto the bar with the snatch-grip – but I thought it did make some things feel better. I did feel like my pull was made a bit more consistent (I didn’t miss any snatches or cleans today). I also felt like my extension was a little more organized, especially with the clean, glutes and hamstrings felt like they were real on.

Just realized my rhomboids and lower traps feel pretty fatigued right now. It’s fine.

Hey guys – can I be real for just a second?

This is an old video but I like watching it sometimes. Lots of emotion. Who are you when you are challenged? How much of yourself do you put into the things you care about? AC had attempted 505lbs x 5 a couple weeks before and came away with a triple, after a short deload he worked back up to 500lbs and really wanted to put this shit away. I watch this every once in a while when I want to feel like I’m not trying hard enough.

beonick writes:

Brent, did you watch Dragon Ball Z or Pokemon?

I watched both. I enjoyed Dragonball Z more. When I was in middle school and a freshman in high school I’d draw stick figure comics inspired by Dragonball Z.

stone wall writes:

Hey Brent, I think about you when i hear this song…
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix_E60MoYNA]
Does this make me an asshole or a concerned patron? IDK pick one.

That’s very sweet of you, Joe.

James writes:

Brent, did you ever think that maybe Starbucks girl looks forward to you coming in every day for your girly drink? Why would you want to make this girl sad by avoiding her?
So just ask the her out for a boba tea. If she shoots you down, then you can avoid where she works.

Hold on a sec I have to go get a towel and wash my hands, the very suggestion of this makes my palms real fucking clammy. I’m also not going to ask this girl to go get boba tea when there is a real cute Vietnamese girl who works at the boba tea shop? Thereby doubling the systemic stress that I’d have to face? Which would be amplified by the fact that I’m having to legit interact with someone I can’t maintain eye contact with for more than a second or two? What are you, a fucking amateur?