Hey guys, story of my life here, used to work with this chick:
Have you guys heard of the concept of a “work spouse?” This is me. Girls love talking to me. I am the guy at work that girls who are in relationships are or otherwise unavailable will have close friendships with. I was at a fucking different clinic LAST WEEK, the first time I’d been back at that clinic in like almost a year, this chick who is at that clinic who I HAVEN’T SEEN OR SPOKEN TO FOR MONTHS, this chick comes over when it’s close to the end of the night and it’s slow and tells me about her Thanksgiving and her drama with her boyfriend’s family. Oh no I’m fine thanks for asking but go ahead tell me about your troubles. Just call me Dr. Shoulder. It’s fine. I do this for a fucking living.
I’m currently someone’s work spouse already. The last time I got a haircut, I walked into work. She was all cooing over it. Patrick Stroup, you know who I am talking about because you keep telling me to bang her. This chick is always squeezing my meager biceps (as in she was doing that today) and is like “mmm.” She was cleaning something with an alcohol swab one time. Rubbed it on my arm, she said, “Feel how wet that is? That’s how wet you make my vajayjay.” She tells me she loves me, multiple times a day, but IT’S NOT FUCKING REAL, BECAUSE SHE LIVES WITH HER BOYFRIEND. THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES WHEN I’VE BEEN MULTIPLE GIRLS’S WORK SPOUSE. AM I FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW???? AM I JUST MAKING SHIT UP????? ARE YOU READING THIS CORRECTLY????? YES. YOU ARE. I CAN’T FABRICATE THIS SHIT. THIS IS MY LIFE FOLKS. THIS IS BRENT KIM 24/7 365 “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BUT DON’T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY BECAUSE TONIGHT I’LL BE SNUGGLING WITH MY BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART. I JUST LOVE YOU WITH THE IMAGINARY ONE.” IF THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU DON’T FUCKING SWEAT IT, YOU CAN TAKE A BREAK, I’LL TAKE OVER FROM HERE. BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS, IT’S FINE.
Post thoughts to comments.
Re: “off the shoulder shirt,” let me just set the record straight. This other chick who I used to work with had a few tops she wore that bared one or both shoulders and I commented like, TWICE, at the most, and it wasn’t even, “Hey man I like your delts,” it was just, “You seem to like those kinds of shirts.” So ever since then their joke has been that I have a fetish for bare shoulders. It’s fine. I’ve been accused of jerking off to worse.
Benched 275lbs x 2 paused. Internally-rotated, hyper-kyphotic high school football players bench this for 10. It’s fine.
Snatched up to 235lbs, which in addition to me having to chase it substantially, would have been red-lighted in competition because I chose to dump it behind. C+jed 265lbs, missed a 285lbs and then a 295lbs clean. It’s fine.
The best part of the workout was gutting out a 425lbs x 3 high-bar squat. I wasn’t in the rack because Saul was going to do reverse-band deadlifts, and I figured I’d just have side spotters but of course everyone else in the gym left as soon as I was ready for my workset, and while there was a trainer there, he was with a client. So I said “I guess I just won’t miss” and then squatted it twice, considered quitting but knew I would be fairly unhappy if I did not take a triple so went for the 3rd and ground it out with some wavy knees. It was a mild success but had the potential to be pretty embarrassing. 425lbs x 3 was my baseline low-bar triple back when I was a shittier, more inflamed, less mobile athlete (my best low-bar triple is 440lbs, which is going to be irrelevant when I do that high-bar weighing like 15-17lbs less).
Finished up with +90lbs x 2 weighted ring-dips – with acceptable depth this time – and doubled 405lbs for a back-off on the squats.
Phil B writes:
How does this make you feel?
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2454
Holy fuck that is good.
Paul says:
I am internally rotated frequently. I am a gordon fuck. I could be more impressed with myself.
Ksik10 writes:
When you’re doing ring dips, do you ever get any pain in the anterior shoulder? It never happened when I did bar dips, and I’m trying to figure out what might be different wrt mechanics. It seems that the pain gets worse whenever I try to move into external rotation on the rings. I dunno.
I did when my shoulders were inflamed and I had poor mobility, but my shit hurt when I did it on the bars, too, or even when I benched, pressed, or snatched, so I dunno what your deal is either. If you’re not doing mwod already, it is something you could try though ……….
Curt1s asks:
Ring dips and ring pushups: fewer reps are possible. Does this mean they are more of a strength stimulus? Or not, because the actual weight involved is the same as bar dips and floor(?) pushups?
I would think that more weight could be done on the bar. I do the rings because I’m supposed to be practicing more ring skills. I am too busy not c+jing 300lbs though.
lone ranger writes:
okay now lets take it easy on franky…i know the guy has some screws loose in his head but HE COULD HAVE BEEN A PRETTY DECENT WEIGHTLIFTER. he never really trained for oly lifting, he was more of a sprinting/jumping being an asshole in the gym type. but he did post a 40 inch vertical and truthfully thats about as high as most elite weightlifters go in the verts…
Frank Yang doesn’t know the meaning of lumbar OR thoracic extension.
“She was cleaning something with an alcohol swab one time. Rubbed it on my arm, she said, ‘Feel how wet that is? That’s how wet you make my vajayjay.'”
laughed out loud at this. what was your immediate reaction?
sputtering laughter
‘This chick is always squeezing my meager biceps (as in she was doing that today) and is like “mmm.” She was cleaning something with an alcohol swab one time. Rubbed it on my arm, she said, “Feel how wet that is? That’s how wet you make my vajayjay.”’
Powerclean her off her feet, tell her you’ve got two tickets to Mexico in your pocket and a bottle of Wild Turkey in your car, then sweep her out of that place like a fuckin’ boss; it’s probably what she wants. What’s the worst that can happen? Assault charges? Fuck that noise.
Maybe you just need a motorcycle, higher attendance at local music shows, a leather jacket, and a side business.
I’d be all over you if you had that.
^”I’d like you better if you were just a totally different person.”
^lolz
enough of the jelly dick virgin review of crossfit on 70s big. Lets get Brent’s opinion.
“Just call me Dr. Shoulder.”
Sounds like the rear delt raises are paying off.
Brent, the problem is not you but it’s that you work with tramps. You’re a good man for not taking advantage of the situation.
So whatever happened to Becky’s friend who is into muscular backed Asians?
most of the girls i work with aren’t tramps, just in need of transient, non-sexual affection outside of their significant other (if they have one) without reading into things. the girl i mentioned re: alcohol swabs and her vajayjay actually has a lot of guys who want to bang her but she hasn’t strayed from her boyfriend. look guys – she just has a real explicit sense of humor. one time she was knocking on the back entry to the clinic and this other girl who came to open it said, “i can’t see through the hole,” her response was, “you want to see my hole???” but acted like it was no big deal if that were the case.
can i be real for a second?
i enjoy my work-place friendships, whether or not i am a work spouse. they make work fun and easy to go to, and they are legitimate friendships. there’s nothing to be taken advantage of.
re: becky’s friend, in all likelihood she stalked my fb, saw that i wasn’t attractive, and told becky, “You know what, I don’t think this is gonna work.”
Okay so the one’s a bit of a cocktease instead of a tramp. It’s fine.
I meant take advantage of more in my perception of these women in relationships want to sleep with you but you don’t try to get them in the sack.
But one more thing. Do these women know that you’re not gay? Because sometimes it can be hard to tell with Asians. See – http://www.aaba-bay.com/uploads/aaba/gay%20or%20asian%20large.jpg
“But one more thing. Do these women know that you’re not gay? Because sometimes it can be hard to tell with Asians”
lol’d at this. Outside of the Thai/SE Asian ladyboy culture, I dont think Asians are allowed to be gay – not that I’ve extensively researched the subject
In fact, the problem is Brent, for all women are tramps. There is zero uniqueness to this situation.
He’ll be slaying so much tail once he decides to stop being all nice and shit and just starts swinging the big dick and being a jerk when they approach him all doe-eyed.
In what fucking class does a person write a final about friendship?
Probably something like sociology.
Women’s studies
Did you redact her face in the first picture in the particular way you did to create a Hemmingway-esque iceberg theory story? Telling us with out telling us that she likes black guys?
COME AT THEM BRO!
Have you considered the D.E.N.N.I.S. System…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u391z5l6WY
Why do women treat Brent Kim this way???
They are tramps(jamesinottawa is correct) and you what I think???
honestly? Honestly? HONESTLY? …it’s deplorable and they should be ashamed of themselves.
derp *you know what I think???
i don’t think i am treated poorly, i am jk about my interpretation of the relationship
look man – i’m just easy to talk to. that’s the way it’s always been. people have secrets, they come and tell me about it, i popcorn.gif and maybe write short stories about it later. it’s fine.
Best post yet! You can not make that shit up, its too good. Have you ever considered internet dating(match.com, etc.)? What type of clinic are you and these tramps working at? VD clincs or what?
I’m making a motion for a “Brent Kim goes internet-dating” series.
i’ve already done it
unsuccessfully
What site did you use? Any dates come out of the internet dating? I had success with it. If you have questions, I have answers.
2nd this motion and willing to pay the monthly fee.
What is your vertical Brent?
like 23″ last time i checked a few years ago
I had a horrible night last night when some cunts who live upstairs came home at 2am yelling at each other about drug money and one of them pleading with the other to break his hands or face to pay the debt cause he didn’t have the money. After I rang the cops to break this up they went upstairs and played obnoxiously loud dubstep until 5am. So thank you for brightening up my otherwise horrible day Brent Kim.
This post has too much real life. Seriously.
i got it man, if you need to sit out i’ll take of yours for you
Brent are you actually a doctor or do you just play one with your work spouses?
pretty sure he’s a rad tech
Sounds like a good gig. My next guess was nurse which would explain why he works with so many women.
If a girl starts talking about how wet you make her gash in front of you she is definitely DTF. Whether you choose to pursue that is up to you. The others may want to just be your friend but boyfriend or not this one wants some Korean sausage. I think the laundry list of others who have you clearly parked for a permanent stay in the friend zone have clouded if not totally destroyed your ability to see this clearly.
“I think the laundry list of others who have you clearly parked for a permanent stay in the friend zone have clouded if not totally destroyed your ability to see this clearly.”
i loled
Not true. A lot of girls who are in committed relationships like to be flirty just because they want the attention, knowing that they have no intention of actually cheating. Guys get comfortable in a relationship and stop all the flirty cute shit they used to do to lock their chick down, so the chick starts looking for those things elsewhere.
http://kumamotojet.com/images/TheMoreYouKnow.jpg
I hope you never get a girlfriend just so I can continue reading posts like this.
Mixed sex friendships don’t work. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
I’ve known many guys like this in the past and it was never the case that the girl wanted to sleep with them. She enjoys the control and the fact that you do want to sleep with her and knowing that you’ll always be there and listen to her bullshit because of it.
I view it more as she doesn’t give a fuck what your opinion of her is and so she’ll tell you anything. The people who’s opinion she does care about (her boyfriend) she won’t tell for fear of it going down.
TAYLOR MULFORD IS A DOUCHE.
are you the tucker max of lifting?
Brent, how do you feel about this song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU75uz0b8EU&feature=relmfu
>MFW I read anything you write:
http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/9/93288/1730964-mfw.jpg
Brent,
I am 26 years old, unemployed, and live with my parents. I’m one head of hair away from being George Costanza (not sure if Asians watch Seinfeld). I’m of course single…and I’m pursuing an undergraduate degree in which i’m surrounded by FUCKING 18-21 year old SMOKE SHOWS all day. I got up the nerve to befriend ONE of these smoke shows, only to have her lead me on, invite me out with her friends and then say “oh that guy over there is this guy i’ve kind of been hanging with lately” to which 10 minutes later she started making out with him 6 inches from my fucking stance. I’ve been “that friend” to every girl I’ve ever known. One girl even told me once “i can’t date you because I’d want to marry you and we can’t get married because we don’t believe in the same God”. FUCK dude. I get you. I should probably be killing myself.
P.S. even with her face blacked out that chick is a total betty. Get it.
The more times I read this post, the more I like it.
Hey man I think Christina’s advice is solid. Get a motorcycle ok
man, this blog just keeps on getting better and better. frustrated guys in their mid 20’s to early thirties complaining about not getting enough sex and sex…
thanks for saying hi today!
Mr Kim, can I call you mr kim?, or should I call you lil kim, or kim jong il?
Anyway, what are your thoughts on Dom Mazzetti vs. Meatheads? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8nSHzAE5CQ&feature=related
I stare
up in the moonlight
alone
leaning against the wall
wondering
where
she is
anyways, i think brent’s blog is more or less starting to look like a relationship/sex forum…
Curt1s: The reps are lower in weighted ring dips than the same weight on bars. I don’t know about ring pushups, they’re fucking easy.
The max weight you can do is also lower.
I have done 190 on p bars.
152.5 on rings without any effort to turn the rings out.
115 where I jump up and externally rotate the rings at the start and finish of the rep.
Another observation is your 5RM on the rings will be a lower percentage of your ring 1RM than bar 5RM is vs 1RM. So the ring dip needs to be trained with even lower reps than you’d use on the bar dip if strength is the reason for doing it.
Ring 5RM = 90, 59% 1rm
Bar 5RM = 145, 76% 1rm
There are no good dip bars at our current gym, one way of few that it sucks, so 100% of my dipping has been on the rings which although good for strength and has better carryover to gymnastics skills like the iron cross than bar dips, is probably lacking as a hypertrophy exercise since all stability gets lost pretty fast with increasing fatigue.
If you turn out the rings while you weighted ring dip you get maximum transfer towards the iron cross and your biceps tendon will become sore. (in a good way)
Saul,
Is the biggest extra return on the ring exercises the stability of muscular contraction? I do pull ups and dips regularly, but should I be considering ring pull ups and dips in the stead of those normal exercises or are they more of an additional tool?
If you want to be better on the rings it’s worth it. If you like exercises that involve more body control and balance you might like them better. There’s certainly more CNS involvement.
If I had a quality dip bar I wouldn’t break I would do both types.
For pull-ups I love ring pull-ups which start with pronated hands and finish with supinated hands with the rings tapping the chest or shoulders. Big big range of motion, easier to tell a good rep than chin over bar, an ideal biceps exercise.
Brent can’t do these with bodyweight to save his life, he’s probably doing it wrong or has funny proportions like big biceps and small delts/pecs and can’t get the ring to touch anything.
But I also do them on a bar like you to win contests like these: http://www.extremepullups.com/competitionsevents/2011-1rm-weighted-pull-up-competition/
What’s this about: