There’s a dichotomy in how people are motivated. As a coach, it’s your duty to determine what this is and adapt to the needs of your trainee; you need to be the Batman they need, the one they deserve. It doesn’t mean you have to like it, because your primary goal should be to get the most out of that person.
Back in the day, advice from an old grandpa would be, “Quit crying. Get the shit done.” And it’s really a valid point of view. Other times it might be, “You suck. Get better.” Some people respond to this defiantly and strive to be better. The totalitarian coaching approach is documented in people like Bill Parcells and Bobby Knight; the players will almost rally against them in defiance to be successful.
Nowadays, people have feelings that need to be considered. God forbid you actually offend someone. Instead, things are focused on “You are wonderful. You can do this.” Instead of someone taking an objective look at themselves and realizing that they have work to do, society would like to convince them that they are perfect the way they are. Bullshit.
If we were perfect the way we are, then we wouldn’t have anything to strive to achieve. There wouldn’t be anything to do but wallow in our perfectness, and that’s exactly what these people tend to do. It’s the reason fat people think that not only do they NOT have to pay for two seats on an airline, but that the airline should accommodate THEM by changing their policy (and lose millions of dollars in the process). Yeah, they are so lazy that instead of changing themselves, they developed a narcissism so powerful that other people should sacrifice their resources to accommodate such laziness.
This, my friends, is what the FUCK we’re up against.
But don’t worry, you won’t ever be coaching or training any of these people because they will never make the decision to stop being what they are. As a senior in high school I had to write a satire that was in the vein of Jonathan Swift (who, by the way, had some of the biggest testicles in history). My “modest proposal” was to take all of the fat and lazy people and ship them directly into the sun. This was made more awkward when I saw my obese teacher’s face when she handed the paper back to me. I don’t know if I wrote it then, but the cost of a sun-shipment would be less than a) the cost of supporting them via healthcare and b) the irritation caused by having to hold their hand and trying to get them to change – especially when they are convinced they don’t have to. Who knows, maybe their lard could be used as fuel (just like on steamboats on the Mississippi River used to do).
Look, I’ve been the trainer in a local “Biggest Loser Challenge”; you can’t help someone who isn’t committed. The TV show has to offer a quarter million dollars to get them to do it! You can’t teach or transform someone who is not willing to do what it takes; it’s just so easy to quit. Arnold Schwarzenegger realized the same thing when he quit personal training because people didn’t care as much as he did. Then he went and made millions of dollars, badass movies, and was the first foreign-born governer since Irish-born John G. Downey in 1862. Why? Because he gave a shit. No big deal.
There will be those people who are “lost causes”, but there are many more on the bubble. It’s all about motivation. If someone is paying you money to coach them, you have a choice. Do you stubbornly stick to your principles and run trainees off who aren’t compatible with you? Or do you adapt your style to get the most out of your trainee and eventually teach them the way of the Force? The former doesn’t require any skill as a coach. The latter is how you can make a difference. Your pick, champ.
I am pissed too, sir
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