Every day millions of people are doing silly-ass shit in gyms across the world. One of these things includes wearing Vibram Five Fingers to the gym. For those of you who aren’t Californians, CrossFitters, or the outdoorsy type, they look like this:



I’ll point out that most people think that these things are…not straight. I can see how they’d say that, but they are useful for outdoorsy shit like rock climbing, kayaking, or wearing to the beach (I know because I was gifted a pair, and I have worn them doing these things).
Edit: When I tried explaining this to my girlfriend, who hates the Vibrams, I said, “Well, they are useful for some things–” She interrupted me and said, “What? When you want to put your toe in someone’s ass?”

Some people wear them for running (those people are vegetarians or have other unrewarding characteristics such as — and this is a direct quote from my girlfriend — “armpit hair or a huge bush”). I think that wearing them for running is taking the “functional” shit way too far, not to mention running in them is clearly less safe (consider the environment, and accept the fact that the vast majority of people can’t POSE correctly).
“Ohhh, but what about the functionality of aborigines running properly?”
Yawn.

Look, POSE running is good and more efficient. Getting all crazy and doing it in Vibrams indicates you don’t have anything else important to do. Does Brian MacKenzie wear Vibrams when he races? No. He doesn’t.

More importantly, Vibrams shouldn’t be worn to workout, ESPECIALLY when lifting. Jesus, I see people wearing them to squat in and it makes my teeth hurt. When I see them attempting the Olympic lifts, I have a seizure on the spot. “Functionality” isn’t about trying to do things like the australopithecus did “because we evolved that way”. Functionality is a by product of getting strong, and to get strong efficiently, you wear appropriate footwear. You can run into a host of foot problems by stupidly wearing the Vibrams to lift in. Not only is getting injured not a sport, it’s not fucking functional either. If some shit head can only squat 250 wearing Vibrams, and this other not-so-shithead can squat 450 by wearing a belt and shoes — both of which will help make him stronger, a trait that directly contributes to real world events — then he is much more functional than the first guy. And if he isn’t conditioned from a respiratory/vascular perspective for the “worst case scenario hysteria people”, then he can get more conditioned faster because he is strong.

Vibrams Five Fingers are horrible to lift in. If some fitness ass-burger is telling you otherwise, then you now know they are a burger made of ass. Mechanically they create more problems and don’t solve any, injuries are prevalent (hey, let’s jump and stomp our feet without shoes on with an additional 100+ pounds in our hands — good idea, right?), and they don’t have any merit for optimal strength training. If any of you wear Vibrams, then you should have the money to spring for a cheap pair of lifting shoes. Save the Vibrams for what they were made for: wearing them outdoors when no one is looking.

Wednesdays are turning into video day since the chat room is on Tuesday night. Glenn Pendlay made an appearance in the chat room and wowed everyone with his stories of his lifting PR’s, and then chimed in on nutrition. Sorry you missed it.

This is self explanatory:


Chris squatting 615×2


Mike squatting 515 a couple months after cutting a bunch of weight (for a PT test) and a few weeks out of Military Nationals:


If you’d like your video to be posted, sent it on in. If I forgot to post a video you sent me, then re-send it.

Generally speaking, I don’t hate groups of people. But I sure dislike them. For instance, it bothers me that girls and women nowadays are attracted to effeminate, poonish males. Masculinity is a dying trait in today’s world; I weep for the future. What happened to the man’s man? What happened to grizzled, yet affectionate men? What happened to flannel? Some of you may find this hard to believe, but there are actually “males” out there that are mistaken for a woman! I’ve always said, “It should be a primary goal of either sex to never be mistaken for the opposite sex.” I stand by that.

Thankfully, I heard two stories yesterday that gave me hope. The first referenced a female who lost interest in a guy because he “loved to sing”. When asked about it, she replied, “I just don’t want to date anyone that is less masculine than I am.” This girl ain’t a butch, either.

The second story is from Jacob Tsypkin. Jacob asked for a class of milk at a coffee shop, and his milk was served in a wine glass.

Then the girls at the counter were complimenting his beard (see how gnarly it is in this video). He thanked them and said, “Most girls don’t like beards.” The girl replied in deadpan fashion, “Well, you see, I like men. Not boys.”

There is hope, yet.

Do any of you have hope that women prefer masculinity and ruggedness over skinny, shorn poons?

Recently there was an article in The Seattle Times about the devastating effects on US soldiers from carrying heavy ruck loads in combat (ARTICLE). The article details individual stories of young soldiers with chronic spinal arthritis as well as how musculoskeletal injuries have significantly increased since this war began. Depending on the branch and unit, loads vary anywhere from 70 to 130 pounds. The article calls for a significant “weight loss program” to reduce the average load carried by combat soldiers.

Unfortunately it isn’t realistic to ask an infantryman to carry less weight. How else would the team carry batteries, survival gear, food, water, ammunition, and necessary explosives with them in the field? Vehicles and even pack animals are used when they can be, but there are specific circumstances and specific units who have a mission that won’t allow help with carrying loads. The warriors will have to soldier on, as they say, in order to do what they need to do.

The article referenced several underweight infantrymen.

“I had a choice. But I couldn’t leave my squad behind just before they were being deployed,” said Staff Sgt. James Knower, a wiry, 155-pound soldier from Joint Base Lewis-McChord who served in Afghanistan for a year despite injuries to his arm and rotator cuff.

…

A rail-thin staff sergeant in the same platoon, 130-pound Kenneth Rickman, patrolled with armor and gear that typically weighed between 80 and 90 pounds.

There are several things wrong with a guy carrying 70% of his bodyweight all day, every day. First is the institution that put him in that position. Why would a 130 pound man be tasked with a job in infantry — one that specifically demands that the soldier carry heavy loads long distances on a daily basis? That infantryman may also need to carry classified equipment or, god forbid, another American soldier away from a dangerous situation. Trusting someone who is underweight, and inevitably under-strong, with these tasks is a fault of the institution.

Additionally, it’s a mistake to have a “cry for help” to try and reduce loads. Modern warfare demands significant amounts of equipment ranging from communications gear to mortar rounds and tubes. Realistically the loads won’t be reduced any time soon. Warfare and methods would need to adapt, and this environment of this current war (mountainous terrain in the middle of no where) limits technological adaptation to help a platoon move materials from one place to another. The trait that can be influenced in the short-term — one that will help improve the readiness and capability of the soldier as well as limit their potential for injury — is to have a stronger soldier.

A stronger soldier not only will be able to withstand the rigor of carrying 100 pounds on his back all day (and then dropping a small portion of it to engage an enemy followed by picking it back up and moving to the destination), but it will strengthen the structures to withstand the force and strain of heavy loads. Advocates that fight for the improvement of soldier safety (regarding carrying heavy loads) shouldn’t aim to reduce the load, but to prepare the soldier to handle those loads heavier. In reality, it’s the only thing that can be currently effected — focus on the variables that can actually be controlled.



Most of these young soldiers with withering spines were ill prepared for carrying such loads. It’s not that they didn’t have the experience of carrying loads (they do it in training), but that their structures — muscles, tendons, ligaments, and bones — were ill prepared to handle the ongoing stress. It’s one thing to increase the contractile force of your muscles, but it’s another thing to increase the density and capabilities of a structures. Bones will react and adapt to the forces that are placed on them, yet slamming them with 100+ pounds of compression forces without any chance to adapt will result in deteriorating mass and structural stability. Instead, soldiers should use a combination of overall strength training with safe ruck marching loads (sources recommend capping training ruck loads at 50 pounds). Squatting and deadlifting are perfect exercises for preparing the entire spinal column to withstand higher forces, and the training ruck marches can condition that strength for prolonged postural use.

A 130 pound — even 150 pound — guy who hasn’t increased the integrity of his musculoskeletal system is ill prepared for the rigor of deployed ruck handling. What actually should happen is under weight soldiers should be put on a strength training regime to increase their body weight to at least 180 pounds with compound, realistic movements that train the musculature and structures involved in a soldier’s job: squatting, deadlifting, pressing, and rowing. It isn’t realistic to begin or maintain a program in an institution like the military. It takes years for large-scale physical fitness trends to permeate, and they don’t have the means for all personnel to get adequately strong anyway. I should point out that doing a leg press or machine row is a poor substitute for effective training. The spine and hips need to be loaded similarly to how they’ll be loaded in the actual job, and that is stabilizing a load that is not constrained to a set track.

It’s unfortunate that many soldiers have lingering effects of courageously carrying massive loads when deployed. The Seattle Times article repeatedly references the musculoskeletal issues, especially on the spine. Good chiropractors that can treat spinal issues as well as the soft tissue surrounding the spinal column should be utilized to help treat battered soldiers. Additionally, they should have effective programs that progressively increase the capabilities of the injured structures to a point where they can handle a load again. Simple, yet intelligent, progressive overload principles over time compounded with skeletal and soft tissue manipulation can help treat these lingering injuries so that the soldiers don’t have to result to pain killers and narcotics to cope (see article).

Alas, changes in the institution’s system will be long, drawn out affairs if they happen at all — it’s just the nature of a large organization responsible for the defense of the United States. Instead, active and former soldiers would do well to educate themselves on how to properly prepare, cope, and rehab with the physical punishment associated with their job. Most veterans who read this site are “in the know” of how to train their body accordingly, but they’d do well to help their friends with these simple, yet helpful lessons. Take responsibility in helping who you can when they will listen. There are thousands and thousands of people around the world that train for the sole purpose of killing Americans, especially American soldiers. We don’t need our lack of proper strength training to kill our soldiers in the field, or slowly killing their spines years after seeing combat.

PR Friday

Post your personal records or training updates to the comments. Keep the bathroom related topics to yourself

Shrug Thug

Brent does Brent-like things online. Here’s a story he told AC. I cleaned up the punctuation (The Shrug Thug refuses to use punctuation).

So, I’m benching at the globo gym and this fucking Asian American fuck face with his cap turned sideways on his fucking head, repping 135 is like, “say bro, you go to UTD?” (UTD is a school around here)

I am like, “Nah man, I didn’t go to school here.”

And he is like “Oh cool, what are you working out for? Getting cut, getting bigger, Strength?”

He proceeds to spend the rest of the workout making friends with me. He says he benched 280lbs at 155lbs and says he used to do 35 pull-ups before he stopped working out. There is a bullshit “leader board” at this globo gym ranking top 5 faggots at squat, bench, leg press, max pull ups, and max push ups. JH is like “I am gonna be on that list for pull ups” as if it’s some big fucking accomplishment.

I am like “Cool man, spot?” because I am benching and need a spot.

He is fucking all pumped about pull ups, he climbed all the way to the top of this big support beam in the middle of the gym (like a 50′ ceiling at least) and he is like, “Let’s do some pull ups. I am all about form man, that shit is the most important. I will show you some legit form on pull ups.”

So he asks me to show him how I do pull ups, and I do.

He says “Good form bro, let me show you how I do them,” and proceeds to not go to full extension.

He wants to “start a team” and have everyone train together. You remember that scene in Inglorious Basterds where they are in the bar and the SS officer is joking with Stiegler, and Stiegler very clearly wants to stab the guy in the face? That was me except instead of stabbing i would have just said, “Your civic fucking sucks and that spoiler you have on it is absolutely ridiculous.”

No, No, No Squat at 600 pounds

Glenn Pendlay coaches some good Olympic weightlifters. Unfortunately Max has a wrist injury that prevents him from lifting. He’s still squatting though:


Someone that is friends with Max sent me the vid after I had seen it, but they told me the following story:

True story: He had serious injury and not worked out for months, no squats no nothing. One morning he was training someone and was standing there in some running shoes, holding a coffee, while looking at his iPhone. Someone had left a squat bar set up with 200 kilos, and Max said “I bet I can squat this cold.” I assessed the situation as easy money for me, and a safe bet I would either call his bluff or he would fail. I offer up $20. He put down his coffee and iphone, walked to the bar a took my money. Not only did he not warm up in any way, he had not touched a weight in 6 months. Fast forward, and Max is back to training, the result a 601 lbs A2A squat.

Moral: Max is mutant strong, do not bet against him. Ever.