The following was written by Tamara AKA T-Bone on this site.

Question: What do you do when your trip to the 70’s Big Workshop gets canceled because your kid has a 102 fever?

Answer: You spend the weekend glued to the computer watching weightlifting at the Arnold and drinking Makers 46.

The 2011 Arnold Weightlifting Championships were streamed live on the web via ustream. This allowed everyone a chance to watch the action…when the feed was working. The feed on Saturday was especially spotty with much of the Women’s Elite session happening while the feed was down. Thanks to ustream you could also join in on the live chat, which on Saturday evening featured some of the biggest douchebags and trolls on the planet.

I missed the morning Friday sessions because I was still hoping that God would intervene and allow me to drive to Atlanta to hang with Real Men With Facial Hair Who Weigh Over 200 Pounds. Sadly, God was not on my side, reaffirming my belief that there is a special place in hell for me. Fortunately, Friday night featured some of my favorite lifters, including three of the four California Strength guys who were competing at the meet. Rob Blackwell went 119/140, Jared Enderton went 141/168, and Jon North went 152/189. Despite being a 77 and lacking significant body hair (although he apparently weighed in at a whopping 79.70) and being French Canadian, Laurent Goyette-Demers impressed me with a 117/155. Little dudes can be strong too, even if they aren’t as hot. The evening wrapped up with quite a surprise. After his third jerk attempt, Jon North whipped out an engagement ring and proposed on the platform.

On Saturday, I was really looking forward to the Women’s Elite Session. Unfortunately, ustream had other ideas. Apparently, getting a better internet connection at the Arnold venue cost $700, which was not in the budget. So, the shitty connection resulted in frozen screens, off-air time, and frustration on the part of viewers. Still, these women didn’t fail to impress. Amanda Sandoval was the winner of the Women’s Open Division as a 58 lifter with an 87 snatch and 110 jerk. Natalie Burgener went 94/103, Aimee Anaya Everett went 88/111, and Jackie Berube went 80/99 as a 58 lifter at age 40. Superheavys Holley Mangold and Chioma Amaechi threw up some big numbers. Mangold went 98/127, and Amaechi went 100/131 to take second in the Women’s Junior Division.

Saturday afternoon exhibited the hyped Men’s Islands vs. Mainland competition, which featured Dutch Lowy, Caleb Williams, Chad Vaughn, Phil Sabatini, Zach Krych, Kendrick Farris, and Pat Mendes lifting for the U.S. Vaughn was the winner of the Men’s Open Division as a 77 lifter with a 147 snatch and 183 jerk. He makes me want to try harder to like men who weigh less than 200 lbs. Kinda. After snatching 143 and missing his attempts at 148 and 150, Krych pulled out of the jerk portion of the session as a precaution. Farris hit a 155 snatch and then missed all three jerk attempts at 197. He put up quite a fight on the third attempt and collapsed on the platform. All eyes were on Mendes after the “Unofficial Junior World Record” video of his 207 snatch. I think it’s fair to say that Mendes disappointed. He opened with a 175 snatch and then missed 182 and 183. He power jerked his opener at 207 and then missed both attempts at 217. According to Average Broz, he tore a tendon in his shoulder after that 207 snatch and didn’t lift again until four days before the meet. Despite what anyone thinks, the dude is fucking strong, and he’s just a kid, and I’m ready to see what he can do at Nationals.

Saturday evening had some solid lifting as well, but as stated earlier, the level of douchebaggery on the live chat reached an all time high and eventually drove me to log off. Sunday featured the School Age and Junior lifters. The littlest ones were adorable, even if some of them were easily snatching my jerk PR. Arnold himself made an appearance on stage on Sunday morning, although the shitty sound quality prevented me from hearing what he was saying.

Sunday afternoon was what I was waiting for. Okay, not just me…scores of other panting women around the country were also tuned in to watch Spencer Moorman. Apologies to all of the other guys lifting during that session, but I didn’t pay you the slightest bit of attention. And Spence (yes, I will call him Spence) did not disappoint. He hit a 155 snatch and then opened with a 185 jerk. As a Real Man With Facial Hair Who Weighs Over 200 Pounds, he understood the importance of Go Big Or Go Home. Spence knows how to Man The Fuck Up and went for a 192 jerk, although he missed both attempts at that weight. I am sure he earned more than one new fan. As another viewer said, “Guess whose picture is now on my desktop. Who would have thought that I’d ever find a big bear-like man hot as hell?” Indeed. Thank you, Spence. We are all glad that you are legal.

Arnolds 2011 Women’s Elite Session from Jocelyn Forest on Vimeo.

Complete results from the weekend are at www.columbusweightlifting.org. You can download the recorded sessions at www.ustream.tv/channel/arnoldweightlifting2011. Thanks to reneelee, smithb9 and yoshidragonaga for their thoughts on the meet also.

It was a rough weekend for me given that the three days leading into the workshop I probably ate a combined 1,500 calories (Note: Don’t drink from the water fountain at the park). The 70’s Big Workshop itself was a lot of fun. The updated presentation had more of a focus on programming. I aimed to give everyone the conceptual understanding of programming with guidelines so that they can implement it.

I liked programming to mathematics; there are fundamental rules that create the boundaries for the language, yet once there is a solid understanding of those fundamentals, then you can get creative in how you apply the language to new things (I heard this explained by a quantum physicist on the radio when I was driving Friday — most of us won’t ever have the capacity to be creative with math, but my analogy still makes sense). We did discuss specific programs like various linear progressions and how to program intermediate level trainees, yet I’m more interested with someone understanding the guidelines of creating a stress dose to illicit a response, and knowing how it will effect the system and local structures.

In any case, hanging out with everyone was a lot of fun.

This past weekend also marked the 2011 Arnold Sports Festival, including a weightlifting and powerlifting meet. We’ll have recaps of that over the next few days. If you went to the festival or were watching online, then I’m interested in having you type out a recap post of what you saw. I already have someone doing the weightlifting meet, but shoot me a message or comment here if you want to help out. I drove to Atlanta Friday, did 12 hours of presenting, coaching, and eating food for the workshop on Saturday, then drove back to Florida on Sunday, so I didn’t see any of the Arnold.

One Wednesday evening I contracted the bubonic plague and have been out of commission since. Tomorrow there will be a workshop in Atlanta — it’s still on of course. List your PR’s or training updates to the comments.

P.S. Puking is not a sport.

Every day millions of people are doing silly-ass shit in gyms across the world. One of these things includes wearing Vibram Five Fingers to the gym. For those of you who aren’t Californians, CrossFitters, or the outdoorsy type, they look like this:



I’ll point out that most people think that these things are…not straight. I can see how they’d say that, but they are useful for outdoorsy shit like rock climbing, kayaking, or wearing to the beach (I know because I was gifted a pair, and I have worn them doing these things).
Edit: When I tried explaining this to my girlfriend, who hates the Vibrams, I said, “Well, they are useful for some things–” She interrupted me and said, “What? When you want to put your toe in someone’s ass?”

Some people wear them for running (those people are vegetarians or have other unrewarding characteristics such as — and this is a direct quote from my girlfriend — “armpit hair or a huge bush”). I think that wearing them for running is taking the “functional” shit way too far, not to mention running in them is clearly less safe (consider the environment, and accept the fact that the vast majority of people can’t POSE correctly).
“Ohhh, but what about the functionality of aborigines running properly?”
Yawn.

Look, POSE running is good and more efficient. Getting all crazy and doing it in Vibrams indicates you don’t have anything else important to do. Does Brian MacKenzie wear Vibrams when he races? No. He doesn’t.

More importantly, Vibrams shouldn’t be worn to workout, ESPECIALLY when lifting. Jesus, I see people wearing them to squat in and it makes my teeth hurt. When I see them attempting the Olympic lifts, I have a seizure on the spot. “Functionality” isn’t about trying to do things like the australopithecus did “because we evolved that way”. Functionality is a by product of getting strong, and to get strong efficiently, you wear appropriate footwear. You can run into a host of foot problems by stupidly wearing the Vibrams to lift in. Not only is getting injured not a sport, it’s not fucking functional either. If some shit head can only squat 250 wearing Vibrams, and this other not-so-shithead can squat 450 by wearing a belt and shoes — both of which will help make him stronger, a trait that directly contributes to real world events — then he is much more functional than the first guy. And if he isn’t conditioned from a respiratory/vascular perspective for the “worst case scenario hysteria people”, then he can get more conditioned faster because he is strong.

Vibrams Five Fingers are horrible to lift in. If some fitness ass-burger is telling you otherwise, then you now know they are a burger made of ass. Mechanically they create more problems and don’t solve any, injuries are prevalent (hey, let’s jump and stomp our feet without shoes on with an additional 100+ pounds in our hands — good idea, right?), and they don’t have any merit for optimal strength training. If any of you wear Vibrams, then you should have the money to spring for a cheap pair of lifting shoes. Save the Vibrams for what they were made for: wearing them outdoors when no one is looking.

Here is an exceptional example of what not to do. Look how unhappy he is.

Wednesdays are turning into video day since the chat room is on Tuesday night. Glenn Pendlay made an appearance in the chat room and wowed everyone with his stories of his lifting PR’s, and then chimed in on nutrition. Sorry you missed it.

This is self explanatory:


Chris squatting 615×2


Mike squatting 515 a couple months after cutting a bunch of weight (for a PT test) and a few weeks out of Military Nationals:


If you’d like your video to be posted, sent it on in. If I forgot to post a video you sent me, then re-send it.