Carlos Interview

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The first time I met Carlos at TPS, he (unknowingly?) trolled our weightlifting team by loading up a bar to 400-500lbs on a platform and then disappearing for 45 mins while his “deadlift suit stretched out.” Despite this (and pulling sumo at the time too!) over time I came to find him as a laidback, incredibly friendly guy who was always in the gym, either lifting or showing up just to help others train. His transformation and programming makes for a great story that I’m happy to share here. – Brian

Carlos 125lbs to 210lbs in 6 years

Tell us about your background, how you got started lifting, and how long you have been powerlifting.  

Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to be muscular and strong so I picked up my first magazine issue of Men’s Health at my local CVS in Andover, Massachusetts (at the time, I thought the bodybuilder magazines were too gross looking).  I found a chest and back workout, that had some arm work thrown in. l did that workout at the town’s local health club for at least a month, thinking I didn’t need to train legs as I was still playing soccer at the time.  On top of soccer I did lacrosse and track and field, but was always dissatisfied with team sports when teammates didn’t give it their all even though I always did.

I got into lifting weights in my senior year of high school. I had just finished my last season of cross-country, weighing in at 125lbs, and wanted to get into another individual sport. In May of 2008 I found my current gym, Total Performance Sports in Boston, and started seriously Powerlifting. This has more or less been the only gym I’ve ever gone to since I first started lifting weights. It’s one of the few gyms I know that houses Olympic Weightlifters, Strongmen, Powerlifters, and MMA/combat fighters. [ed. note: this gym is legit, definitely 70’s Big]

What’s your programming typically look like? Do/have you use(d) any of the popular programs (531, TX method, etc) and if so which do you like the best?

When I first started lifting I started by using Westside. Then I came across Sheiko and was intrigued by it and ran these three different cycles of it in this order: #29 then #37 and peaked with #32. I found that this improved my total more so than the Westside training ever had so I kept doing it for a while and started tinkering with it.

About two years ago, I became interested in the block concept because I read that Sheiko was a form of this bigger concept called Block Periodization and asked my friend Thomas Butler about it. Thomas is a close friend of mine who I met through competing in Powerlifting in the 181 class. I was stronger than him at the meets we did together but his gift with Powerlifting has more to do with programming and we quickly became good friends. Tom was also interested in trying out a block program and sent me a training cycle that he had written. I followed it through to the letter and loved it. We eventually collaborated on an adaption of it that best suited my needs and as a result I really started to see my totals increase.

Starting at my ~1400 total and using Tom’s block programming, I hit:

  • 1520 Total: 525 Squat, 365 Bench, 630 Deadlift (October 22nd, 2011)
  • 1640 Total: 610 Squat, 370 Bench, 660 Deadlift (October 20th, 2012)
  • 1700 Total: 635 Squat, 400 Bench, 665 Deadlift (March 23rd, 2013)

In less than a year and a half, I put 300 pounds on my total.

Carlos pulls 665 to round out a 1700lb total

I always go with Thomas’ programming whenever I do a meet because I tend to have paralysis by analysis; thankfully he takes all the thinking out of it for me. So while I have programmed other lifters, I could never write out my own training because I could never be that objective with myself. Whenever I’m not prepping for a meet, I always gravitate to 5/3/1 to maintain and give my body a rest. I find that Block Periodization tends to beat me up too much; if I used it as an annual plan I would either burn out or injure myself.

Block isn’t a routine ala 5/3/1. It’s a concept designed to move effectively towards a specific end using three training blocks: Accumulation, Transmutation, and Realization. Each block is roughly 3 weeks of training, followed by a one week deload at the end of each block.  In accumulation you get into “Powerlifting shape,” meaning that increased hypertrophy and work capacity are the goals of this block.  The basis of the transmutation block is to take the general abilities and transfer them to specific abilities using increased intensity and reduced volume. I think it’s important to know it’s normal to feel like shit during this block, but you should still be able to hit all of the numbers you planned to hit. The realization block is the final stage of training before a meet where volume is low and the intensity is high. It’s often referred to as a taper and the training is directed to the competition lifts.

I’ve had a lot of questions about Block and wrote up some stuff you can see on my old log and my current training log.

You are a really well balanced 220lber, do you ever take more time to focus on one lift more so than the others, or have you always pretty much given the squat/bench/deadlift equal treatment?

Here’s my training philosophy: I practice the competition lifts to get good at them. Granted, there are some programming considerations to make when preparing for a meet, but to ignore any of the competitive lifts is a big mistake. You want all of the contest lifts to be automatic; to be second nature. To get there you need to do many reps the same way you would in the meet, including using gear if you’re equipped.

Your meat and potatoes of your total is going to come from your Squat and Deadlift, but the Bench Press is vital to maintain momentum leading into the Deadlift flight of a Powerlifting meet. I may never have any of my one individual lifts be in the top 10 lifts of all time, but that doesn’t matter to me. The end goal is having the best total, and the lists I care about are the National and World record totals for whichever weight class I compete in.

I believe that in order to be great, you must look at Powerlifting like any other sport. You have to be skill specific and therefore train to meet the explicit demands of Powerlifting. Hitting the upper echelons of strength involves training speed strength, limit strength, and etc. Therefore you can’t reasonably spend your training economy on specialization of a certain lift and on top of that you need to be aware of how much volume you do. I’m nowhere close to perfect on these things. I’m just trying to highlight the fact that to be a good Powerlifter you have you practice your skill and not ignore any of the competition lifts.

You train at a gym with a decent amount of geared lifters. Have you gotten any influence from the geared guys, or been able to take training ideas from geared lifters and successfully use them to get stronger at raw lifting?

I think choosing to pursue raw lifting rather than equipped lifting was crucial for me because it forced me to focus entirely on what really matters: getting stronger.

The last equipped meet I did was the 2011 Europa Battle of Champions. During the meet, after Squatting 705lbs, I thought to myself, “Do I look like a guy that can Squat 705lbs?” Unfortunately I bombed on Bench, and gave myself an early exit to the showers.

The next day when I saw myself in my bathroom mirror, my face was absolutely obliterated; it was completely covered in popped blood vessels and the whites of my eyes were entirely covered in blood. I told myself that this wasn’t healthy at all; I could only imagine the intra-cranial pressure my brain must have experienced as a result of the supramaximal weights my body was handling. It was then that I told myself that I was never going to compete equipped again. It’s scary to think that lifting maximal weights alone might potentiate brain damage, let alone handling weights that are 200, 300, hell 400 pounds over your raw max.

Since then, I’ve decided to go raw. I still look at the geared lifters at my gym as my mentors. I am still a kid in their eyes, since most of them have at least ten years of lifting experience and if anything, I take every piece of advice they give me and apply it. I’m very big on mobility work and getting your body as healthy as possible. In seeing how some of my more experienced peers are limited by their chronic injuries, have I decided to learn from their mistakes and do my best to keep on top of things and to take care of my body.

I may be 23, but I desire longevity in this sport in order to achieve my goals. I cannot afford to lose time due to preventable injury. As lifters, we can barely afford to have a bad training session, let alone get sidelined by an otherwise avoidable injury. I do my best to see a Chiropractor and undergo A.R.T. and Graston treatments on a semi-regular basis. Plus, I am always sure to do a general and sport specific warm ups before EVERY training session. It may look goofy, but I rather spend the 10-15 minutes to get my body ready for the task at hand.

Tell us about what you generally eat. Do you follow any of the popular diets (paleo, carb cycling, vegan lol, etc)

When I first started training, I was 125lbs, so the first thing I did was temporarily cut out any cardio I was doing. I was running just about 10 miles per day at the time, so going from one extreme to another was a huge paradigm shift. However, I knew that if I wanted to reach my size and strength goals, I had to really focus on changing my eating habits. If memory serves me right, my first “real” training program was the infamous “Squats and Milk” program:

  1.  Press behind neck 3 x 12
  2.  Squat 1 x 20
  3.  Pullover 1 x 20
  4.  Bench press 3 x 12
  5.  Rowing 3 x 15
  6.  Stiff legged deadlift 1 x 15
  7.  Pullover 1 x 20

This in addition to, of course, a gallon of whole milk a day. At that time I ate every 2-3 hours, totaling six meals per day, all while using the milk as a supplemental source of extra calories. Following this routine, I gained 55lbs in 8 months, thus shifting my weight from 125lbs to 180lbs.

When I came to Total Performance Sports, I began following a program similar to that of the Westside approach. My diet therefore had to change, so I wrote myself a quality mass diet to go along with my new training style. I ate 90-95% of  “clean” foods; i.e. no candy, no fried stuff, no junk food, and no fast food. In order to calculate my caloric intake goals, I used this formula: body weight x 16 + 20%

Following that logic, I consumed 3456 calories on training days, and on non-training days I consumed maintenance caloric levels. This approach worked well, as I was able to consistently gain 10lbs every 3 months. When my lifts stopped advancing, I made sure to gain another 10lbs over the next 3 months.

By the time I reached the 200-210lb mark, I realized I had put on too much body fat, and had to tweak my dietary program. I began using a carb cycling approach, and started improving my body composition. I’ve been in the 200+ body weight range for the past two years, but my body composition has been steadily improving. When I began, I was 210lbs at 25% bodyfat, and now I’m at 215lbs at 17%. I think measuring your body fat on a regular basis and using concrete numbers to monitor your body composition is absolutely crucial to making progress.

Thomas and I track my body composition as a marker of whether or not a training block was successful. If my lifts are improving, but I’ve only put on body fat, it generally tells us that improvements are due to mass leverage, and that I’m becoming an inefficient lifter. There is no point in adding mass for the sake of mass if it is solely acting as deadweight.

My current body composition goal is to be 210lbs with 10-12% body fat. My ultimate goal is to maintain that body fat percentage while at 225lbs. Although it is a painstaking process, the substantial increases in my competition totals make it well worth the effort; it’s verification for me.

When you interact with skinny hipsters do they react to you like you are Godzilla?  And how do you find hipster style clothes that fit you?

I couldn’t help but laugh at this question. Powerlifting is a sport that I will live and die for, but it is only one facet of who I am. I’ve been a musician for about ten years, and culturally speaking, I’ve always been a hipster-nerd type that enjoys going to thrift shops, pretentious coffee shops, and underground metal shows. You’re just as likely to see me grinding out reps on the squat as you would catch me talking about existentialism in Harvard Square.

I find it kind of weird that in the Powerlifting and music scenes often it’s not about just lifting weights or the music, but you have to dress and act a certain way to be part of the sport/scene. Like it’s mandatory to have a shaved head, facial hair, and tattoos in order to be a “true” Powerlifter. There have been times that I haven’t been taken seriously as a lifter because of those superficial things, and I think it’s silly. The majority of my friends knew me before I became a serious Powerlifter, and they don’t treat me any differently as a skinny 125lb’er versus me now at 215lbs.

One of the things that I love about Powerlifting is that it’s a pure way of expressing yourself. The weights are objective, and they’re extremely honest with you, there’s no bullshit when it comes to lifting a max weight.

If you really want to talk appearances, for actual hipster fashion, I’m lucky to live in Boston. There’s so much culture and all different walks of life here that you can find whatever you’re into and augment it to your style. I like going to this store called Bodega or any of the shops in Allston to get some fashion. Funny enough, my old tailor that use to be my go to guy for tailoring my multi-ply suits is now my actual clothing tailor. If he can make my squat suit fit I trust him with my jeans.

When is your next planned meet?

RPS and my gym are getting together to hold a meet in the Boston area, I believe it’s going to be October 12-13, that’s definitely my next meet. Any of the guys from my gym, myself included, are going to compete for bragging rights.

You can find Carlos on facebook, youtube, or at TPS. 

 

Guest Post: Jackie and the Platform

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Today’s article is courtesy of Jackie. She gives us an honest and frank look into her story of going from a gym-stud to fresh meat on the platform, with a little prodding from her coach. More importantly, it’s easy to see just how much the work we do with the barbell effects our outlooks in the rest of our lives. A huge thanks to Jackie and her coach Chris for bringing us this story – keep ’em coming, folks! – Jacob

 

When it comes to training, I have had some significant personal accomplishments. Deadlifting 300lbs, pressing the 24kg kettlebell, 32kg Turkish Get Ups, and repping out pull-ups have all been exciting feats. But I must humbly confess that these have all come relatively easily to me. Which begs the question, what am I capable of if I really applied myself? I’ve never really found out the answer, but it’s a question I hope I never stop asking myself. As a recovering fitness trend-junkie, in addition to a stubborn Italian (which is more of a character asset if you ask me), I have always struggled with training “ADHD,” and I occasionally relapse back into old habits of over-training, under-eating, lack of mobility work, and training with the purpose of vanity. This resulted in disturbed sleep patterns, inevitable injuries, mood swings, apathy and boredom. This is a lesson I have learned all too many times, and am frankly sick of getting beat over the head with it (if you’ve met my mentors, you would understand I mean this both figuratively and literally).

The truth is that I haven’t ever really worked hard for something. I mean, really worked for it. To clarify, I have applied myself in school, work, relationships, and I do have experience setting goals and meeting them. Yet, the goals I set were mediocre at best, and easily attainable. To be even more candid, if I did ever set a high standard that would require some serious dedication (which was rare) I would usually quit. Give up. Just like that. If it wasn’t executed perfectly, exactly as I expected, it was over.

But to work hard, hours on end, sacrifices, compromises, losses and gains and more losses, all for something that looks and feels so far away, and promises no guarantees? Nope. Never really knew what it felt like. I’ve been one of those people who would back out in the middle of a winning streak for fear of losing face, who would “stop while I’m ahead,” who wouldn’t pursue something because it would entail some serious effort and risk failure. I have been this person, this way, for most of my life. Which, ironically, isn’t really living it all.

For two years now, Chris Falkner, coach for Tucson Barbell, has been fighting to get me into Olympic lifting. While I did play around with the idea and techniques, it just seemed ‘too hard’ to actually commit to. Recently, however, life threw me a couple of curve balls, leading me straight to the platform. After feeling uninspired for so long, it became the only place that I could seem to find the solace and serenity that seemed so absent from my life.

Spending 1-2 hours, 5-6 days a week, for 3 months (and counting), focusing on the same movements and techniques over and over can be very humbling. You fail… a lot, and start to discover more about yourself and your “limits.” You can’t afford to use any energy on giving a shit about what you look like, what people think of you, or, God-forbid, getting “bulky.” The goal becomes the focal point, and it’s amazing how your perspective changes when you do finally wake up. It’s like seeing everything for the first time… finally. I remember watching my coach in his training session one day. I had seen him lift before, but this time I saw it differently. Before approaching the platform, he stood back for a few moments, almost as though he was paying his respects. There was complete silence, no music, not talking. It was just him, the platform, the bar, the weight and the passion to become better. Everything he would talk about, in that moment, had finally started to make sense.

A few days before the Grand Canyon Winter Open in Phoenix, AZ, Chris had suggested I register as a participant. Immediately I got flustered and scrambled to find reasons not to. ‘I’m not ready.’ ‘I have too much homework and a test to study for.’ All euphemisms for: ‘I am a chicken shit.’ Chris did what he does best and called me out, and I was fuming. (You see, when people other than myself are right, I get pissed.) I decided to do it, even if it was mostly out of spite.

At 5:30am on a Saturday morning, I braved the 2-hour drive, in pouring rain on Interstate 10 (which is scary as hell) to participate in my first official weight-lifting meet. Already sleep-deprived from the nerves the night before, I spent the entire two hours talking myself into going and not turning around back towards a warm bed. I weighed in, warmed up, and it was time to lift. The gym owner was explaining the rules, and I honestly don’t remember a single word he had said, I was so preoccupied. My hands were shaking and I had to remind myself to breath. But I remember finally setting foot on the platform and having the visual of coach training, and my teammates. In the moment before, I suddenly stopped giving a shit about anything other than the lift. In the moments between, I was too busy admiring the other girls’ lifts and paid no attention to the adrenaline rushing through my body. I ended up hitting all three of my snatch attempts, setting a new personal record at 47kg. I landed two attempts of the clean and jerk at 60kg and 64kg, and missed my last one at 67kg. Three of my teammates and I qualified for University Nationals in April. It was an amazing time, and I learned an invaluable lesson. The experience wasn’t about hitting numbers higher than the next girl, or having the best technique, but to work hard and compete with the older, weaker version of myself.

In the days following the meet, I have felt more confident in my training and technique. The gym has become a refuge and I count the minutes until I get there. I realize my numbers aren’t necessarily the most impressive. I am a little fish in a rather large pond and I acknowledge the cards are stacked against me ever becoming the “best.” But as long as I show up and am better than yesterday, I’ve found my calling.

 

PR Friday, 29 March 2013

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Look, I get it. I’m “that guy.” It’s fine. I wear obnoxious tank tops in public. My beard scares strangers. I challenge crossing guards to front-double-bi-pose-downs. I trap slap my “friends” until they have bruises.

Yes, he PR’d.

I wear short shorts, and I yell “TEARDROP!” at awkward moments in romantic comedies.

I completely deny having ever gone to a single romantic comedy.

I’m not going to apologize for having fun, especially while lifting things up and putting them down. And neither should you. Next time you go to the gym, recreate this scene during your warmups. You’ll be a better man/woman for it:

And if not, well, hopefully you don’t get kicked out.

This week, Aaron wrote another article that I personally thought was fan-fucking-tastic. Some people probably didn’t think so. Those people aren’t having enough fun. The point of this site is to help each other get stronger, leaner, meaner, and more awesomer, just like our long lost brothers did back in the 70s. Think they apologized? Nope.

This site has become an awesome community, and continues to evolve into something bigger than Justin or any of us ever imagined when it was launched. We get more daily hits than ever before, and our sphere of influence continues to grow. Hell, big ol’ Mark Bell even mentioned us this week on his youtubes (if you don’t follow his selfie-vids, do it now – he’s full of great info and stupid hats). Take pride in being a part of this group, and make sure you comment here, especially on PR Fridays like today. Stop lurking, and start contributing. If you’d like to keep a workout log or ask questions, you can join the LiftHeavyShit forums (NWS, duh), or hit us up on facebook. Tsypkin answers questions every Thursday, mostly about CrossFit and Olympic Weightlifting. This week, Mike took a huge chunk of time to answer every question he could find on the facebooks in this video:

(thanks to user cwhite for making a table of contents in the comments section!)

We might all be jackasses, but we’re here for you. Keep the questions, comments, and PRs rolling in!

 

 

Tsypkin Thursdays #4

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David C asks, “If you were going to hire/follow one of the bigger CrossFit coaches out there to help you prepare for the Open, Regionals, and Games, who would you choose?”

Rudy Nielsen of Outlaw.  In part because he has a deep and sound understanding of how to program effectively – but there are a lot of people with that. What Rudy has that a lot of others lack, is a deep and sound understanding of how CrossFit – the SPORT, not the fitness program – functions. He doesn’t debate silly shit like “is CrossFit too strength biased” or “has too much cardio” or whether the “definition of fitness” is legit.  He observes the parameters of the sport, and trains people to compete in them.

 

Dave F asks, “I am training the Olympic lifts three times a week, one day being committed to the snatch, one day to the clean & jerk, and one to both. What is a good rep scheme for a novice?”

First: if you are a novice, I do NOT think that 2x/week per lift is enough. You need to be doing them 3x/week so that you can learn the patterns and learn them well.

About rep schemes…don’t worry about them. Focus on sets of 1-3, get a lot of good reps in, and when you feel great, go for a new PR, whether it be a single, double, or triple. If you’re training alone, don’t do so much that you are exhausted for the last third of your session and do nothing but shitty reps.

 

Vee G asks “I was trained using the ‘scoop method’ ala Coach Burgener.  A lot of my fellow weightlifters have been taught in a style more similar to Coach Pendlay’s, which does not teach the scoop. What are some advantages/disadvantages of either technique?”

I’m assuming that by the “scoop method,” you mean teaching an intentional rebending of the knees – sometimes referred to as the double knee bend – under the bar before the second pull.

Did someone say scoop method?

I personally do not teach the scoop/double knee bend as such. I teach the lifter to move into the correct position, and the knees move into the right spot – slightly in front of the bar – just before the lifter extends into the finish. It is my opinion that teaching the intentional double knee bend only serves to confuse new lifters, slow down the transition, and lead to the lifter pushing the bar forward and shifting the weight onto the front of the feet too early.

Although there are certainly good coaches who have made this method work, I cannot see any advantages this way of teaching has over those which do not coach the lifter to intentionally perform the double knee bend.

Editors’s Note: Please remember to ask Tsypkin anything your crazy little heart desires on our facebook page. Otherwise, he’s going to have to come up with his own questions to answer, and that would just be crazy. 

 

Jacob Tsypkin is a CrossFit and weightlifting coach, the co-owner of CrossFit Monterey and the Monterey Bay Barbell Club in Monterey, CA. He is available for weightlifting seminars and has excellent taste in shirts and gainz.  

 

70’s Big Attitude

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Aaron is a PJ, or pararescue jumper, as well as a general badass. He’s already written a couple inspiring articles for us (Excuses? No. and Lessons From Lifting). In this one, perhaps his best yet, he has a call to arms. Are you ready to answer? Ladies and Not-so-Gentlemen, are you ready for some old-school 70sBig? – Cloud

Three years ago I was drawn to this site by the unapologetic, brash braggadocio only a true miscreant could love. Idolizing forgotten mastodons wearing short shorts and high socks. Celebrating facial hair and real meals, encouraging real men and women to be real men and women in a time of androgyny, man-scaping, skinny jeans, Twilight, and other things so horrible they shall go unmentioned. Like 50 Shades of Grey. Those things are not cool, bro, and like my personal heroes Michael Douglas, General Patton, Tyler Durden, Vlad the Impaler, the Techno Viking (that guy took ZERO shits), John W. Creasy, and Walter- this aggression will not stand, man.

In the movie “The Rock”, voted “the best movie of all time in the history of the world” by NATO and the Illuminati, it was said, “sometimes the tree of liberty must be refreshed with the blood of patriots.” Well sometimes the tree of 70sBig must be replenished with the fuel of attitude, with the liquid reduction of our resolve. In the interest of re-focusing ourselves, I charge you to live your life a little more recklessly this next week. Just for a while, think to yourself, “What would Ricky Bruch do?” I assure you, that answer is almost always, “Get extra mayonnaise, lift some heavy shit like a damn boss, and proceed to not give a shit, two monkeys or a damn.” Would Ricky pass up an extra conditioning session? Absolutely not. Would Ricky pass up the 4th steak in 2 meals? Not up in here. Would Ricky wear long, pleated slacks and watch NASCAR drinking a light beer at a tofu tasting party, politely discussing HOA fees? I just got a phone call – the message was, “Ricky Bruch’s estate wants to kill your family for associating his name with that scenario.” It’s that serious.

“But Aaron! I am entrenched in the corporate world; I can’t go stomping around like a heathen, shirtless, scaring the villagers! Also, I don’t know any villagers and my shorts are of an acceptable length for ‘casual Friday’.” Well, first of all, that’s unacceptable. If you say “Casual Friday”, you better be ready for aviator shades and some damn boat shoes. If that’s not the case, it’s time to get your swole back. It’s time to remember who we all are, at our base. Boil us down to brass tacks, twisted steel and ball bearings, and we all realize several immutable, undeniable, irrefutable facts.

We are human. That makes us all physiologically the same, genetically capable of tasks very much the same. If you are reading this saying, “Well, X person is bigger, stronger, I don’t think that’s totally correct…” STOP IT. That’s half the problem. Who’s to say you can’t do anything you want? Me? You? Anyone? What if you just refused to believe impossible things, and simply did them? That wouldn’t make you a superhuman; it would simply mean you refuse to be limited. Do you really have limits? Do you think that’s air your breathing? That’s a Matrix reference. Keep up.

Slap anyone that uses the term “swag”, either ironically or seriously, right in the gob. They know better. Go to YouTube, and look up every video of Leonid Taranenko clean and jerking 266KG, then cook a damn steak and do some mobility. Disagree with someone. Seriously, get into an argument, and instead of worrying how their feelings will recover, wondering how you’ll be viewed, so on and so forth- just disagree. Tell someone they are wrong, and that you don’t agree with what they are saying, and that you won’t be wavering. If the term “agree to disagree” is uttered, wage total war and destroy the room. The world understands. That phrase is about 10% of the problem today. So help me Zeus, if anyone around you says “YOLO” and you do not immediately beat him or her to death, I will find your house and mail you a strongly worded letter.

Here is the hard truth- there are no trophies for 5th place, no consolation prize in real life. It does pay to be a winner, and too often in today’s environment it has become acceptable to trivialize a loss, to rationalize poor effort, to soften heartbreak. Well I am here to call bullshit. If you work hard, you get rewarded. If you don’t work hard, you lose, and you don’t get a prize for that. I don’t know when ‘Murica, – the home of first place, the inventor of competition for everything, the bastion of bacon-wrapped-filets and filet-wrapped-bacon-filled-deep-fried-chocolate-coated-turducken-sandwiches became OK with second place, but I am here to tell you it stops now, and it stops with each and every one of us. It starts with me, and it starts with you.

So this week, get up early. Stop making excuses for yourself, and stop taking excuses from others. Get to work early. Put out as a friend, spouse, significant other, parent, older sibling, citizen, WHATEVER. Stop living your life only to keep breathing and start attacking it. Look for every excuse to get better, and get nasty about it. Are you a lady that wants to get “more toned” and look “better this summer?” Get your lady parts underneath a damn bar and do something about it right the hell now. The world is, quite frankly, not ready for that jelly, and I want more ladies bootyliscious when the sun shines bright and hot in 3 months. Are you a fella that can grow a sweet ass beard, or at least a somewhat child molestor-ish mustache, yet shave every day? By the light in Kate Upton’s eyes, grow that damn facial hair, and do it while you grill some meat and write out your week of programming. Is there a charity, a group, or an organization that is worthy of your time that you haven’t volunteered for? What are you, some sort of sissy? How about you do the right thing and donate some time to something bigger than yourself.

Look into her eyes!

If you haven’t torn up in the gym, so motivated that you wanted to literally explode into a ball of flame, or flipped a table in public only to be applauded for your gusto, or uppercut a punkass into a bowl of punch at a high school dance lately – well, dammit, now is the time (editor’s note, please avoid high school dances, thank you).

Now is the time we take back that attitude, and seize life by the horns/balls/ovaries. The part you grab isn’t important, the fact remains that we must grab that part by force. It’s time to get that 70s Big attitude back. And the time starts now.