“It’s quite simple, David…”
Listen Skinny Guy, you aren’t trying. You sit down at night and wonder why you aren’t getting stronger as you pick at chicken breast and broccoli. You might even be the guy eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast…like a child.
It’s time to man up Skinny Guy. I don’t like skinny guys, much less you, Skinny Guy. You either think you ought to be skinny like all of the psuedo-manly guys on TV and in movies or you like to be skinny. If you didn’t like being skinny, you’d do something about it. You would take your skinny jeans and skull cap off (you probably wear the skull cap in summer time too), and you would engage in activity that would require you to not be skinny.
Some of you Skinny Guys have actually decided to do something about it, but you haven’t gotten past this phase of BITCHING about everything that goes on. If your name is Skinny Guy and you don’t gain five pounds in the first week of training, then you aren’t trying. Guys in our gym gain 15 pounds in two or three weeks. I have heard some of you rejoice in the fact that you gain five pounds in a month. That disgusts me, Skinny Guy. I know you’ve been skinny your whole life, but get over the fear of gaining some kind of bodyfat. Your name is Skinny Guy for chrissakes! As we have said before, if you have been skinny your whole life, you don’t get to have an opinion on being fat.
Things that are worth doing are typically not easy, but some of you give up and think that you have a special scenario that requires some kind of unique advice that is not A) eat more food, B) squat, press, and deadlift, and C) stop your whiny bitching.
For some reason I have been in a foul mood, and I think it is Skinny Guy’s fault. My patience is wearing thin. If you think you have a form issue with any of your lifts, then pick up Starting Strength and figure out what that might be. There are plenty of videos on Rip’s Q&A Board. Find a coach if you can. Assuming you have done these things, you should know what you are doing wrong and may be able to cue it yourself. If you think your form is “pretty good” and your name is Skinny Guy, then you aren’t eating enough.
From now on, you guys are only allowed to ask for programming advice if you meet the following weight requirements:
5’7″ and taller: >200 lbs.
5’3″ to 5’6″: >185 lbs.
Under 5’3″: Submit an application to be chased by Jarred Allen
If you have met the weight requirements, then you have done something difficult enough that you have learned not to bitch about your inadequacies and you have manned up. Ladies are always welcome to ask for advice, because that means you have at least considered getting strong, and this gets you a gold star.
And since I know you are going to ask, Fat Guy, keep eating your protein and fat, but cut back your carbs. If you are Really Fat Guy, then you may want to try a drastic approach for a few weeks (no carbs at all). Oh, and I apologize to Fat Guy and Big Guy that we have to give Skinny Guy so much attention…he just doesn’t fucking listen.
Brian lifts a beam that is 300+ lbs. Skinny Guy couldn’t do that.
How”s that for a slice of fried gold?
Glad you like British flicks.
how about fairly grown males–say, myself at 6”3 230–who don”t know what to do next? do i just keep pounding and letting my lifts go up, or do i left off and drop some weight? something about 240 has a nice zing to it.
p.s. all my lifts are going up and i”m not stalling, but it does take a lot of caloric intake for me to consistently gain weight. i ref basketball 4x a week and lift 4x a week.
Skinny guy here,
I”ve got USMC bootcamp in 3 weeks, then it”s right back to GOMAD and lifting.
DL 305×8 @ 155 bw, a good start?
I””m 6””0 BW 220#. I””m planning on competing in some open amateur Olympic Weightlifting Comps over the next 12 months. My goal is to compete in the 105 kg class. I was wondering Justin, you compete in the same class, in the interest of always getting bigger/stronger are you attempting to enter into the 105+ or maintain at the 105?
C&J 130 kg
Snatch 100 kg
Deadlift 410# x5
Press 150# x5 (i know weak)
Squat 385# x5
I am gonna hang out in the 105 class for now. There is the potential for me to be competitive there.
–Justin
OK Here””s a question: how does the whole “eat burgers lift weights” thing apply to women? I””m guessing eat slightly less burgers because I don””t have testosterone pumping through my veins in quite the same way? I am vexed!
Usually women just need to eat more protein in general. If you are skinny, I would say get more grams of protein than you weigh, and don’t censor your intake. See what happens in four weeks of that.
After that, if there are bodyfat issues, they can be addressed.
–Justin
Nearly 50 pounds packed on since Halloween!
thanks for addressing the really fat guy! i”ve officially begun working on the transition from 2000s fat to 70s big!
f-in skinny guy…. 5”11″ 240 here, choking down 5 eggs and whole milk, following squatting 400 sets across, not the best strength/BW ratio, but oh well.
I still don”t fit your size requirements, but I did go from 6”3″ 125 (really) to my current 185.
This answers the “Weight Goals for shorter people” question I””ve asked a few posts back.
So, do I get to call myself an adult male if I””m 5””6″ and above 184?
No, this is not a weight goal for short people. This is the requirement to ask me a question. What you were asking about is more complicated.
–Justin
Holy fuck Dave! you weighed 125 at 6”3???
. . . and I was laughing the entire time reading this.
Thank you…so much…for this.
Seriously, Skinny Guy, you”d have less time to bitch if you would eat more. Now go eat and stop doing curls in my squat rack.
Which equation best dictates the transition from Fat Guy to Big Guy?
Squat>2.5xBodyweight or Man Boobs=Zero?
hmm, weight gain has been slow for me this past week so today I am resorting to a large deep dish pizza post work out + the usual stuff
Hey I use to weigh 140 at 6”2!
Weigh around 210-215 now, gonna hit an maintain 220 (for the time being at least anyway ;)
I”m at 220 now but still look like a skinny guy! Sucks being 6”4. Pushing for 235 right now. Drank a gallon and a half of milk yesterday. Got a couple skinny guys on the novice program. They are both 140ish, started at 130. I constantly tell them to eat and do their GOMAD. They talk about how stuffed they are all the time. I asked one what he had ate the day before a few days ago and he said “half a rotisserie chicken, a couple apples and a couple glasses of milk”. I wanted to slap him and had to sit down and give him a speech. I need to make him read this post.
I”m a lifetime skinny guy. I was 175 on christmas day, the day I started Starting Strength. Now I”m 195. Hopefully next week I will be an adult male.
Yet another skinny guy. 160# at 5”6.5″
On the plus side, I started Oly lifting in Feb. 2009, competed in my first meet in April 2009, my second in Nov. 2009, began starting strength on Jan. 11th, I”ve put on 5+ lbs. since then, I”m cooking briskets in a crock pot, doing GOMAD, and last night I did the hamburger with grilled cheese sandwiches as a bun thing…
I think that at least qualifies as the right direction. Making sure I get 4 square meals a day while in college is probably the hardest part.
well in that case, im gonna go eat 8 mcdoubles because of this post.
Awesome stuff.
Jared Allen on male grooming:
Became an adult male last week when I tipped the scaled 201#. Not doing my part because I”m only gaining about 2-2.5# per week. Here are my competitive commitments for 2010:
1. Enter the Sacred Heart Open on April 25th. I sissied out on the USAW-sanctioned Weightlifting event held at the Westerly YMCA last year. Fear and anxiety took over. I”m aiming for a 91 Kg Clean and Jerk and a 70 kg Snatch.
2. Enter the Connecticut Open Weightlifting Championships on August 1st. I”ll be shooting for 110 Kg Clean and Jerk and 70 Kg Snatch. Lofty ambitions….
3. Enter the AIG Hartford 1/2 Marathon on October 9th. I will shooting to return a time of 1h 45m. This is very doable.
My numbers currently are:
Back Squat – 290# (5RM)
Shoulder Press – 137 (5RM)
Deadlift – 395# (5RM)
Bench Press – 190# (5RM)
Power Clean – 154# (3RM)
Clean & Jerk – 175# (1RM)
Snatch – 132# (1RM)
Front Squat – 203# (3RM)
Got a quesion.
Admittedly, haven”t read Starting Strength yet, but Lascek laid out the program for me.
I”m on a linear progression, and am curious why there isn”t a major row exercise included? Does dead lift make it not necessary, added with cleans?
LOL love the write up…….hate the skinny guy!!! One suggestion though. I think skinny “boy” would be more appropriate.
God I Love Jared Allen. The Man is a visionary. And what happened to Kenny Mayne doing Sportscenter, ESPN has lost its way, except Hannah Storm is pretty smoking. Mullet Inbound.
Off-topic, I know, but just needed to say that “DrMcFacekick” is the greatest handle I have ever seen, especially for a chick that”s into 70sBig.
Cheers.
Sorry, had to put this up to back my earlier statement that JA is the man.
Can Wrangler””s be the official 70sbig Jean, that or lee dungarees I spose.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UQXnsD9CF8
Neither of those jeans, because they don’t fit me anymore, so they can’t work. I ripped a pair of Dungarees a while back. Levi’s 569s are the only kind that will fit me or Chris.
–Justin
Big Boy Cereal
Cup of granola – 440 c.
banana – 100ish c.
small box of raisins – 130 c.
cup whole milk – 150 c.
Total – 820 c.
Not too bad
Eating cereal will not do anything but embarrass yourself. Unless you are eating it with your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or 6 eggs like Chris does.
–Justin
Bigger Boy Breakfast
4 thick cut bacon strips
6 eggs cooked in bacon grease
1 quart of milk
@ Ryno – Id say it depeneded on how the Abs were acheived.
If they are gained by eating like a 12 year old girl, then that isnt 70sbig.
I mean some strongman have abs, but they arnt hovering around 205lbs at 6””2. More like 280+.
God damn it, NO. We aren’t talking about abs here.
–Justin
Jared Allen kills an elk with a spear and then goes home to eat it and lift weights.
70s Big-related wardrobe malfuntion:
http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/20012010/58/wardrobe-malfunction-bobsleigh-ace.html
Ryno,
Maybe shift your taste in women from those who want abs to those who value big back squats? This might work out better for both of you in the long run. Worth a shot. Haha
God Damn it!! Went back to University gym and tried to lift. Didn””t go too well. I went out and bought a gallon of Whole milk instead of 2% milk. Im splitting it to last a maximum of 2 days before i need to buy another one. I will be 200 lbs by june….
I am about to delete your account until you weigh 200 pounds. I will remind you that someone in our gym went from 162 to 210 in two months. You are not even trying.
–Justin
I have a gut on me. I”m 6” and 250. Don”t like the gut but don”t care to see my abs. Just dropping carbs will do the trick? Don”t want to lose strentgh because all my lifts are going up. Don”t want to stop lifting heavy just to lose a couple inches.
@ ryansdad
As I understand it you don”t need to drop them completely. Just stay away from starch where you can.
Paleo + Milk Cliff notes version:
Stay away from processed flour (flour of any kind really), rice, and sugar. Get all your carbs from fruit and veggies. Should be enough for you to trim down. Try it for a few weeks and see what happens.
Clarification: Where I said processed flour I meant (simple carbs) like the kind you find in white flour and rice.
All I know is Burger King having $1 double cheese burgers has saved me a ton of money ;)
2 a day, keeps the skinny guy away!
@ Justin and Jacob
Thanks for the reality check as far as cutting weight goes. I”m just gonna do stuff my face Paleo + milk style and see what happens. If I make it down cool, if not no big deal.
Ryno, Chicks love three things, one is money, another is between your legs, and third is an impressive back squat.
on paleo + milk – how much milk? does that depend on how much fat you need to lose? or is it always GOMAD or as close as possible to that?
Being big and strong is awesome! Pulling bar bending dead-lifts and lifting heavy ass kettlbells get me going…but I must also say that skinny guys like Levi Meeuwenberg (ninja warrior-parkour-freerunner) are pretty strong too.
Thanks Jeremiah! I”ll give it a shot.
Lol at Nolan”s comment that part of the movie is hilarious.
BTW who works out to get chicks anyway. Such a 90”s small thing to do. This isnt the jersey shore.
Hit a solid PR on the weekend. OHP of girlfriend after 12 beers! She”s a brave one.
I went from a misguided CrossFit small guy at 6”4 205lbs to a pretty big guy at 275 and gaining in all of about 2.5 months. In about that same time I went from pressing 135 one time to 145×9, DL 385 1 time to 390×8, squat 345 1 time to 400×9. Eat your food, drink your milk, and do your squats.
I”ll chime in when I hit 300 lbs later this semester. I have a contest with a 230 pound 7 footer to see who can hit target weight first. I”m going to crush him.
Levi 569s haha, only pants Ive been able to wear since december.
I am 5””9. In May 09 I was around 160-165lbs. I started doing the protocols in SS and half assed my GOMAD and ate a little more and was still able to get to 185 by august. I suffered an injury(probably because of half assing my training) and didn;t train again til october.
In october I was around 175-180 and with the help of the guys at SoCalSC, I was 200lbs by dec 1st and for the last couple weeks have been hovering around 212lbs because of life issues.
Justin, what about drinks too much guy?
@ BrandonS – Nice to see another poster going for 300lbs. I hope to get to that weight by the end of the year!
I was a 90”s skinny guy, striving so hard for that faggy 6pack, crossfit freak. Gone from 182lbs(83kgs) on the 7th of Jan 2010 and sitting at 200lbs on the dot. Hopefully over the next month I stack on more, aiming for 205-215.
I eat my big boy meals and GOMAD. I have read up on all of Rips books which bought Late December 2009 to grasp the vast knowlege that is needed for someone wanting to lift heavy, such as myself.
I really enjoy your write ups food ideas.
As of next week I start training with the QWA (Queensland Weightlifting Assoc.) Brisbane, Aus.
Need to get my lift down pat and hopefully start in competition later this year.
Cheers-
Gotta agree about the skinny guys. I”ve got nothing but contempt for guys who are 5”11″+, weigh 150 lbs and brag about gaining 5 lbs in a month. ARGH. If I were 5”11″ I”d weigh at LEAST 250 lbs.. if I were 6”2″ I”d be at least 275. As it is I”m 5”7″ and currently 217. Not “fat” either – I actually have a slim profile with a flat stomach.
I went from 170 starting in October after the Barbell cert at Front Range Crossfit to weighing 215 on December 27th. I”m 5”10″, had to buy new uniforms and pull out my old big boy pants. I don”t discriminate, my stomach loves all food.
Skinny Guy definitely buys raw skinny jeans at Seven For All Mankind.
I went from 185 to 205 in about 2.5 months. It”s amazing what happens when you start eating man-sized portions.