Every Man Can Squat 405

Brent was telling me about some dickhead somewhere on the internet that was making a big deal about squatting 300 pounds. I can’t recall exactly what quote Brent used, but the guy apparently said it was “AMAZING” or something. It’s really not. It’s kinda amazing for a girl to do that, but not a guy.

I coached a 14 year old kid a few years ago. He had hypothyroidism, which means that his metabolism was super slow. They had him on some meds that provided thyroid hormone, yet his dose may have been a bit high. This made his metabolism super high. Therefore, he was a smaller, thinner kid. But god damn did he want to be big and strong — he’s still one of my favorite people. The first day of training, he squatted 95 pounds for some sets. Less than half a year later he squatted 305. I don’t have video of that, but here’s old an video of him squatting 275×5 (there are two more sets, this was the first).



This 14 year old kid was able to work up to a 300 pound squat. It’s pretty good for a 14 year old, but I certainly wouldn’t call it “amazing”. For a grown-ass-man, it’s not a big deal. People have been accidentally squatting 300 for 50+ years. Every man can squat 405.

This, of course, assumes a healthy individual with no existing pathology — anatomical or otherwise. A regular guy can squat 405. And when he does, it may only be amazing if he was a weak-ass dude when he started. I’d be proud if “less genetically gifted guy” squatted 405, but I still wouldn’t call it amazing, or breathtaking, or whatever stupid thing the stupid under-achieving guy Brent was talking about said.

What should you do if you can’t squat 405 yet? The simple answer is to squat twice a week and don’t stop until you squat it. If you garner the accumulated work of squatting twice a week for a year, that’s 104 squat sessions. If you do that for 18 months, it’s 156 sessions. Two years is 208 sessions. It doesn’t have as much to do with set/rep schemes, or volume/intensity; it’s just that you continuously get the acute and chronic stress of squatting.

It’d make the most of your time to emulate a linear progression for several months at first, then a volume/intensity approach (like the Texas Method), and then tweak it from there. At the end of the day, it only matters that you squatted.

I’m not asking you if you think it’s possible, I’m telling you: Every man can squat 405. If this is a goal of yours, then get started yesterday. There are plenty of factors that would effect the success of this goal, but none of them are more important than just getting under the fucking bar and doing it. Then do that consistently. Don’t lower your standards for yourself or to make other people feel better about themselves. You’re not a beautiful butterfly, chocolate starfish, or whatever. 405 will make a statement, one that says, “I am average, but I busted my balls to do this, so eat shit guy in the corner who is doing wrist curls with the smith machine.”

Do eet.