You won’t find the above quote in any book, movie, or TV show (or if you can, it isn’t what I’m referring to). I was walking with my lady friend with my shirt off on Sunday, and this extremely cool guy shouted it from his car as he was driving by. It took me a moment to realize what he said, but I glanced over and I’m 74% sure that he was wearing a wife beater and was thoroughly tanned. I, on the other hand, was thoroughly white and hairy.
What’s really important here is that I’m sure he was thoroughly satisfied at what he had done, and he did this at my expense (it was more than likely the most satisfying experience of his day). Such is the story of my life. I aim to satisfy (from an intellectual and entertainment perspective, you pervert) the readers of this site at my own expense. I just hope you’re getting your satisfaction. If you aren’t, maybe you can mosey on over to the 70’s Big Store because the new 70’s Big Throwback T-shirt is now available for purchase. You may also shop for short sleeve silk shirts for men to elevate your style.
An excerpt:
Twisted steel and sex appeal are rampant with this vintage shirt that is a head on collision between the style of old and new. The strong guy on the front says, “Yeah, I barbell train,” and his better half says, “Yeah, squatting gives me a solid ass.” This shirt is guaranteed to turn some heads, and those heads will say, “Yeah, that guy (gal) is ready to party.”
Supplies are limited with the first printing because…uh, I don’t have a lot of money. I will more than likely have to make a new order in the next day or so. Also, let it be known that this is a new method of shipping the shirts, and there will undoubtedly be some kinks to work out. If you have any questions or concerns, go to the Store page and post to the comments. We’ll get to them ASAP.
There will be updates for other services and the store starting in the morning and throughout the day.
The following is a post by AC. This past weekend he handles some lifters in a non-sanctioned powerlifting meet. I talked to him throughout the meet, and there were some things that occurred that ticked him off pretty well. Here goes…
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This past weekend, the college I currently attend held its annual “Show of Strength”. It is a school-run event directed by employees of the university’s rec center. I had a few people I coach (for free) lifting in the meet so I decided to go and help them. This was the school’s 5th annual meet and you would think they are pretty proficient at running a competition by now, right? Wrong . . . Wrong. The meet director had no prior experience in powerlifting and the head judges were incompetent as well. I’ll get to that soon. I had a bad taste in my mouth to begin with because of the people running the show, but during the rules briefing my suspicions of a poorly run meet were revealed to true.
Right off the start this 150 pound young male puts on his microphone to welcome us to the “5th annual show of strength”. He goes on about how the each lifter will have three tests to complete. Yes, tests. Not lifts. He calls each lift a test, rarely calling them the lift that they actually are. This was really annoying (Note by Justin: I’ll vouch for how annoyed AC was. I was on the phone with him during this briefing, and he was livid about the usage of goofy terminology). After that one of the head judges proceeds to call the lifters over to one side of the bleachers for the rules briefing. He goes on for a few minutes on why we should listen to him in the first place; he has experience in “strength and conditioning”, worked with some college football team, and has helped the L.A. Angels. This obviously means he knows lots about powerlifting. The briefing goes on for a few more minutes and consisted of three demos on how to do each lift and what to listen for with the commands.
Now in my experience you do not show up to a powerlifting meet not knowing how to squat, bench, and deadlift so it wouldn’t make sense that the lifts had to be described and taught to the lifters. I can understand explaining the commands, but not getting (crappy) tips on how to actually perform the lifts.
The warm-ups start and fifteen or so lifters have ten minutes to warm up. It’s ok though; there are three squat racks and a smith machine available to warm up on. Yes, they were told to use the smith machine to warm-up with. The silliness kept increasing.
The squatting started, so far so good. The bars were loaded in ascending order just like any other meet. There were few enough people to were all the weight classes went in one flight. My friend Brittney, who I coach, crushed all three of her attempts on squats, so that was pretty epic. When my other friends were lifting later in the flight I noticed some inaccurate judging. The more the “Tests” went on the more the judging degraded. Some squats were two or three inches high and they were getting the thumbs up. Just about no one, besides the people I coach, listened to all of the commands. The “Rack” command apparently became an option. Even the judge who gave the rack command was accepting attempts when lifters didn’t listen to him. The guy who gives the fucking commands! Can you believe that?
The biggest squat was 460 from a guy who I overheard weigh in at 199. His was a high bar squat that was 3 inches above parallel and he didn’t wait for the rack command, but he got two enthusiastic thumbs ups from both judges. My friend Dylan squatted just fine, but Justin S. got called for a “double-bounce” on his first attempt. I guess it was invisible to my eyes. He nailed his second and third attempt. Justin also got held at the top of the squat for about 7 seconds because the judge’s thoughts were lost (probably thinking about how good his biceps look), so I had to yell to remind this fool to give the rack command. He eventually did.
I am not going to go into too much detail on the bench press. My friend Taylor made a prediction that only the people we had coached would actually follow any of the commands. Actually, one other guy actually followed the rules, but just one. The judges gave thumbs up for people that didn’t wait and the spotters kept taking the bar before the judge gave the signal. There was a multitude of things that went wrong on bench. The silliness was accepted by the inexperienced staff.
Justin S. actually follows commands on this bench attempt
The deadlift…oh jeez. First, the judge only gave an auditory signal of down at the top of the lift (and did not give a hand signal) which is almost impossible to hear when you are actually deadlifting a max attempt. You were also allowed to drop the bar from your hands. So everyone who deadlifted “a lot of weight” got to drop the bar like a bunch of goons. Some of the ugliest lifting was occurring at this point in the meet with horribly rounded backs. Brittney, Dylan, and Justin all PR’d on their pulls which was awesome. I’m so proud of them, AND they all lowered the bar back down as well. Gustavo (who posts here) was also there and I believe he had some PR’s as well. Dylan pulled 575, and then on his second attempt they mis-loaded the bar which caused him to miss the lift. This was disappointing. There was another guy who pulled 575 at 199, and it was pretty impressive.
All in all this meet was horribly run, the judging was poor, and most of all I was really hungry (Note by Justin: This means AC was growly).
–AC
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Instead of looking at this as a big bashing article, look at it as a warning to any competitions you may find yourself in. If you’ve been following the site, you know that we really preach on putting yourself on the line in some form of competition. However, there are federations that have a sanctioned set of rules for a reason. As with licenses in certifications, it guarantees some baseline competence with the quality of the product. In this case, a sanctioned meet from a credible organization dictates how the lifts will be judged, and some baseline requirements for how the meet is run. Imagine if you were beaten by the lifter who was allowed to ignore the judges’ commands and squat three inches high — you’d be pretty pissed if incompetence prevented you from winning. Also, the more experienced the meet director is, the more smooth the meet will run. Be cognizant of these little details so that you can get the best out of your competitive spirit.
“If it’s a severed head I’m going to be very upset.”
PR Friday boys and girls. Post your weights lifted, competitions attended, pants splitted and victory dances performed to the comments. We certainly had lots of PR’s for emotional outbreaks in the comments this week.
The 2010 National Master’s Weightlifting Championships is this weekend in Rego Park, New York. I’d like to wish my friend, Dr. Lon Kilgore, a good luck. He has been competing in Olympic weightlifting since he was 11 years old will be competing this weekend in the 85 kg class at 52 years old. You can see the final schedule here as well as the start list (including names and info on the lifters) here (Kilgore is lifting in the 8th session). More Masters’ Weightlifting info can be found at their home page.
Also, I just realized that USAW recently released the 2010 National Championships Entry Form with the tentative schedule. Check it out if you want to see how a big meet with multiple sessions will be set up, along with all of the legal hoopla that goes into submitting an entry for one of these (who knew you weren’t allow to dope blood?).
The new t-shirts should be finishing up later today or on Monday, and I will give updates as I receive the information.
In the mean time, here is a pretty sweet weightlifting video that has the hair, the style, the drama, and some big lifts:
“I don’t want to sound like a queer or nothin’, but unicorns are kick ass!”
Skinny Guy, I want you to know that I care. I pity you.
I pity your cute little legs and your hunched shoulders. You hunch them so that you can flex your trunk easier in order to continuously flex your abs. A whimsical breeze could hit you at an angle that would knock your shirt clean off! If you can’t dazzle them with size, then cut their pupils with your 1280×1024 resolution abs.
Alas! Your abominable abdominals don’t have much utility outside of a non-hetero vampire movie. But don’t worry, Uncle Justin wants what’s best for you. I want you to be strong so that if when the inevitable zombie outbreak or nuclear holocaust occurs (whichever comes first), then you’ll be of some use to the rest of us.
“How can I do it? I have gone so many years without consuming a solid meal that I don’t know where to begin!” I hear your plight, Skinny Guy. Luckily, mainstream media is here to the rescue. They took time out of their busy schedule of updating us on American Idol and verbally performing fellatio on the head of the state to teach Skinny Guy what to eat.
The bun-free (“so meaty, there’s no room”) sandwich features two pieces of bacon, two slices of melted cheese and “Colonel’s Sauce” – which KFC officials said is a “zesty mayonnaise” — slathered between two chicken filets, either original recipe (540 calories and 32 fat grams per KFC.com) or the slightly slimmer grilled version (460 calories and 23 fat grams).
KFC Doubledown
Look at that, Skinny Guy. This is your density! Or something…
I especially like how the Chicken Ranch Taco Salad at Taco Bell weighs in at 910 calories and is apparently the second most caloric item on the menu. I also love how all of the blogs around the country are flipping their shit over this, as if caloric food is somethingnew. The stupid-ass Huffington Post says they are “going too far” (Fun Fact of the Day: The Huffington Post linked to 70’s Big at the end of last year…well, okay, someone in the comments linked to us, but I found it amusing nonetheless). Everyone will try to shame the KFC, but I will stand against convention and tyranny and say, “Thank you, KFC, for caring about all of the Skinny Guys out there. You make my job easier.”
Look, I know a lot of you are training out of CrossFit facilities. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. But, most people wanting to get better at doing CrossFit stuff will do so by getting stronger. This isn’t new, we’ve been saying it for a while. It may not be in everyone’s best interest to weigh 260+ and be a lifter. That is okay, although the lot of you guys reading the site are horrendously underweight, regardless if you compete in anything or not.
My friend Gant moved up a weight class in Judo (from 90kg to 100kg) and has won his last two tournaments. The point is that he maintains a bodyweight below 220, but still has the 70’s Big mindset. He strength trains properly and conditions very well for his sport. Oh, and he also eats like a man should: heartily. Actually being big enough to be considered 70’s Big will not be in everyone’s best interest, but the quest of 70’s Big is one that aims to get stronger and improve.
“The Scott” is a good example of this. He’s a guy who got involved with CrossFit after a period of dicking around in gyms, and then got pretty damn strong by lifting and drinking his milk. Recently he competed in two CrossFit competitions; he weighed 215 for the first, and then 205 for the second. During one of these he was interviewed by a camera crew, and they asked him a series of questions. When they finally asked about his beard, Scott replied, “It’s all about 70s Big, bulking, chocolate milk and lifting heavy.” Scott is a patriot.
Oh, for those of you who were upset to see him lose ten pounds, he told me in the e-mail, “I am glad that I’m going back to strength training and minimal [conditioning]. This winter my goal is to [weigh] 225 lbs, a 500 deadlift, 450 squat, 400 bench press, 250 press, and 270 clean and jerk.”
In any case, Scott is a guy who really found his niche by going through CF first. CF can be a gateway to lots of competitive endeavors, yet I still stand by the statement that hardly any people that “do CrossFit” put their necks out on the line to actually compete, and this is an integral part to the whole “70’s Big thing”. If you aren’t interested in powerlifting competitions, or you are unable to get into weightlifting, that is fine. But it is in your best interest to pick something, train for it, and compete in it. You’ll learn more about yourself than you would by just dicking around and hoping you’ll get good at something. Figure it out.
Scott educates the people about 70's Big
And, yes, that is a Hulkamaniac bandana
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70’s Big TSC
A lot of you are sacking up and competing in something this month. If you’re still on the fence, you are invited required to participate in the Tactical Strength Challenge this month.
The events are simple.
1. Max deadlift. You get three attempts to find your max pull. Do it meet-style. If you make an “AC-jump” between your first and second attempt, there is no going back.
2. Max pullups. Dead hangs. No chinning (palms must face away), and absolutely no kipping. Kippers will be shot, killed, and then banned from posting here.
3. 5 min Kettlebell snatch test. 24kg kettlebell. Unlike GS, you may set the weight down or switch hands as necessary.
That’s it, three events. Perform these in one session, and rest at least 15 minutes between each even (or more if you have time). Perform the TSC the last week of April and post your results on the last Saturday of April (I’ll make a weekend post for it). Good luck!
Edit: After posting this part this morning, I got an email from Kettlebell Athletics about the kettlebell snatch. Jason is a good dude, and he puts out a nice newsletter. Today’s topic is how not to bang your wrist while doing KB snatches, a big problem with beginners. If you’re new to this exercise, check out this video and practice your technique before doing the TSC. I also recommend wearing wrist bands the first few times out.
