Women heart guys that are 70’s Big

I’m not quite sure how I can top yesterday’s post. It was probably a bad idea to start the week off talking about sex.  In any case, I need to be cavalier to get out of this self-emplaced rut.

Today I need to have a pep-talk with the guys in this open forum. Women are welcome, but this message isn’t really directed at you.

Due to the increasing popularity of this site, I get a lot of e-mails. So far, these e-mails don’t annoy me. I’m happy to help in whatever way I can. Eventually I’ll organize the popular themes of these e-mails and create some kind of a FAQ (you know, after I create the Hall of Fame page). One subject in particular requires attention.

Hey, skinny guy. It’s time for an intervention.

You’ve been skinny your whole life. This isn’t much of an accomplishment in the same way that being fat your whole life isn’ much of an accomplishment. Fat guys aren’t weird about getting less fat. Skinny guys are definitely weird about getting less skinny. Damned weird. The cause for such a misconception probably includes Hollywood, advertising campaigns, expensive clothing stores, muscle magazines, Calvin Klein jeans, and fanatic fitness methodologies.

When training to get stronger, muscular body weight is gained. After the initial stages of this happening accidentally, a protein and caloric surplus will be required to continue making gains. In the presence of a surplus, it is likely (with regular genetics) to have an increase in body fat along with muscular body weight. To any sane person with eyeballs, muscular body weight is clearly increasing substantially with a little bit of fat. This is not only normal, but it’s going to be necessary if strength is going to be gained.

Even though this is a reality, guys freak out about losing their abs. Really. Usually these are guys that have been awfully skinny their whole lives, and they accidentally had abs that sat below emaciated bony protrusions called ribs. You skinny guys know who you are, especially those of you who are tall and skinny.

Here is my official statement to you: since you’ve been skinny your whole life, you don’t get to have an opinion on what “being fat” is.

There are only two things that I can think of that might be motivation for keeping a set of abs in light of what you’ve learned from 70’s Big: 1) you’re worried about impressing the opposite sex, and 2) there is a fitness methodology that exudes the idea that having a low body fat percentage is vital for elitism.

1) Do you really think that the girl you want to sleep with isn’t going to because you have a bit of body fat (or your interpretation of “a bit of body fat”)? Even if this was the limiting factor in you getting laid, and there is plenty of empirical evidence otherwise, this isn’t someone you’d be keeping around for longer than a half-hour anyway. I’ve recently been told by multiple females that not only do they prefer adult males (>200 pounds), but they spite guys who are 90’s Small. Besides, what woman wouldn’t want to be hauled to the bedroom over a beefy shoulder?

2) Just because a large collection of people, on the internet no less, think you need to be skinny to perform well doesn’t make it true. There aren’t many elite athletes at 5’10″, 165 pounds, and chiseled abs never accomplished anything useful. Sorry.

Depending on your height, you really shouldn’t be worried about being fat until you’re at least 225 anyway. Stop being so damn self-conscious about being fat, because being a self-conscious won’t bring in the ladies, and it sure as hell won’t make you 70’s Big. Grow up. And get strong while you’re at it.

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Mike from Charlottesville, VA is a graduate student at the University of Virginia. He’s 6’ tall, and weighs 200 pounds (as of last week). At one point, he weighed a silly 140 pounds. Mike sent me some pictures of smoking eight pounds of pork shoulder which apparently only lasted him for about 5 days.

8 pounds of pork

Homemade smoker