What is sexy?

Four years ago one of the founding principles of 70’s Big was to reset the idea of body image in society. At the time, CrossFit was fairly “anti-strength training” — evidenced by HQ’s proclamation that focused strength training wasn’t necessary AND rejecting an article I wrote detailing how the “CrossFit Wichita Falls Program” (a program I wrote while at Rippetoe’s WFAC; I refer to it as “The S&C Program” now) made all of my trainees very much stronger while increasing their CrossFit performance. I was told it didn’t contain “measurable, repeatable data”, which it did, but that is neither here nor there.

It was thought that the “workout of the day” was enough to increase performance and that structured programming was unnecessary and less effective. Let’s ignore these stupid fucking points and focus on the result: it was more popular to only do met-cons, and most CrossFit guys were lean and small. 70’s Big was a kind of “fuck that” to CrossFit and bodybuilding and focused on the “big because you’re strong” look. Long story short, I give less of a shit about how people train, so long as they do it intelligently and efficiently…which almost always means they should strength train.

The 70’s Big mentality is focused on strength, muscularity, healthiness, and being jacked because of it. When I hear bullshit about women thinking they need to lose weight in order to have “the gap” (which Mike and I talked about it in 70’s Big Radio Episode 15), or how young girls think they need to weigh a certain amount to “fit in” with their friends, it drives me fucking crazy.

fittingin

As long as civilized society exists, people will be concerned with conforming to it. I have no god damn idea why it’s so important, but to some people it is. I’ve spent most of my life trying to do the opposite, and hopefully I can help others think the same way. It seems to me that one of the barriers in doing what you want to do instead of what others want you to do is self-confidence. Lifting weights, getting bigger, faster, and stronger can develop confidence. I’ve seen it in kids, teenagers, young adults, and older folks. Society is fucking weak. Most people get comfortable with something and stick with it. Then they feel chained to it because they think they can’t do anything else. They lack the confidence in themselves to make it happen.

Yet lifting weights can give people a little kick in the B-hole. They work their ass off to achieve a goal, and they realize that they can do something that previously seemed impossible. When Chris was deadlifting mid 400s for reps, and he said, “I want to deadlift 600×5,” I thought it was kind of far-fetched. But the mother fucker trained his dick off every. god. damn. week. And you know what? He eventually did it (watch the vid and read about the journey; learn about the program to the right).

I’d like to think that people who lift have a different understanding and expectation of what is sexy and healthy. I’d like to think that a woman who lifts doesn’t give a shit about “the gap”, which I don’t even understand. Why would a guy think a space between skin is sexy? How did a bunch of weirdo-neck-beards on the internet popularize this? Some piece of shit in his cubicle at work has power over a young girl’s mind — this is truly the future. Furthermore, why do girls think they need to be skinny to have “the gap”? You take most chicks, including those with muscular legs from squatting and deadlifting, bend her over, and she’s probably going to have a gap (Note: only try this if you have female compliance). It’s called the subpubic angle, and women have a wider pelvic opening because they need to be able to drop a watermelon-sized child out of their pelvis. This is of course a BIG fucking digression since a space between thighs is not fucking sexy anyway; it’s probably the fact that there is a vagina sitting right above it. Let’s call a spade a spade; dudes like seeing lady parts and the gap has nothing to do with it.

The internet is a mob, and the mob has power. I’m here to be the sniper on the clock tower picking off the mob’s leaders. The gap is a shit-head development from the mob. Instead, aesthetically confused girls (or boys) should focus on strength training and health with the byproduct of sexiness. I’ve discovered something incredibly important. Since I have that aforementioned narcissism self-confidence, I named it after myself.

Capture

This information was garnered from a series of observations in repeated experiments in which the result is always the same. Of course there are other variables that are important, like conditioning (i.e. cardiovascular and respiratory training), other lifts or exercises that can fit into the “strength” equation, or other variables that define health like hydration or supplementation, but this is a simplified look at the law. It states that if you put these variables together, the result is sexiness.

Not to insult your intelligence, but notice there isn’t anything in there about “losing weight” or even “gaining weight”. There isn’t anything about “being able to see through someone’s legs while their feet are together”. There isn’t anything about seeing beads of oil accumulating on rippled abs. There isn’t even an opportunity to leave your sexiness up for interpretation, even to yourself. Most importantly, there is nothing in this equation that indicates someone outside of you has any control over your sexiness.

cover-mediumThis is a monumental point; a fucking fat weirdo fapping onto his keyboard does not define what your sexiness is. Your friends do not provide a comparison to derive your hotness. People in your demographic group (i.e. gender and age) do not define your attractiveness. I’m not even giving you false hope in saying that your mindset determines your sexiness! There are fat people out there who think they are da bomb, but we all know they aren’t, so I’m not going to bullshit you into thinking you can look however you want yet feel like sexual god. I’m giving you an absolute, measurable way to determine your sexiness. How strong are you? How consistent is your training? How well do you eat (learn more to the right)? How well do you sleep? This is all quantifiable and can be recorded with any effort or OCD. If you’re gonna have a complex about your aesthetics, let it be a healthy one. Frisbee your weight scale out the window and tell the people that try to influence your body, clothes, or style to go fuck themselves. You’ll be free; you’ll be in control. Implement Lascek’s Law, because, like me, it’s never fucking wrong.

PR Friday – 11 OCT

I am here.

2013 has been busy. Some of you regular readers may be wondering, “What the PISS is going on?” I’ve just been busy with a job that doesn’t leave a lot of free time. That being said, I’ve got some things planned for 70’s Big.

First, posts will pick back up a little bit. I’ve got at least seven topics to write about right now, and plenty of stuff I’ve been mulling over. The goal is to get two posts up a week. I’ll admit it’s hard to get topics up with a hectic schedule, but it is my doody. Ahem; duty.

Second, I’m putting together the logistics to start doing a regular podcast again. Mike and I will be doing it, and it’ll function similar to the Paleo Solution podcast with a main topic of the day followed by a reader submitted Q&A. The availability of the show will depend on scheduling, but I at least want it to be every other week with the hope of doing it every week. You can listen to past shows with the old show format by searching “70’s Big Radio” on iTunes.

Third, I’m working on some ways that will allow our community to interact and mingle a bit better. The best part about 70’s Big is that it’s fun getting to chat with other lifters, male or female, and talk about this big part of our lives that ‘normal people’ just don’t understand.

Fourth, 70’s Big is still open for content submissions. If you have images or links to share, just throw them up on the Facebook Fan Page and we’ll re-post them for everyone to see.

My goal is to teach readers about training, lifting mechanics, anatomy, physiology, programming, nutrition, recovery, mobility, performance enhancement, and so on while providing a dash of entertainment. Expect to see a little push out of 70’s Big as the year winds down, and hopefully we’ll have some fun along the way.

And we need this education. Look at this stupid-ass product that Sorinex is selling from their website. It’s a back extension bench with a swiss ball on it. For 1,000 doll hairs. (Pictured below to avoid giving the company hits on their site.)

sorrynex

This is what we’re up against.

For PR Friday, discuss your training week and highlight your week’s Personal Records.

70’s Big Attitude

Aaron is a PJ, or pararescue jumper, as well as a general badass. He’s already written a couple inspiring articles for us (Excuses? No. and Lessons From Lifting). In this one, perhaps his best yet, he has a call to arms. Are you ready to answer? Ladies and Not-so-Gentlemen, are you ready for some old-school 70sBig? – Cloud

Three years ago I was drawn to this site by the unapologetic, brash braggadocio only a true miscreant could love. Idolizing forgotten mastodons wearing short shorts and high socks. Celebrating facial hair and real meals, encouraging real men and women to be real men and women in a time of androgyny, man-scaping, skinny jeans, Twilight, and other things so horrible they shall go unmentioned. Like 50 Shades of Grey. Those things are not cool, bro, and like my personal heroes Michael Douglas, General Patton, Tyler Durden, Vlad the Impaler, the Techno Viking (that guy took ZERO shits), John W. Creasy, and Walter- this aggression will not stand, man.

In the movie “The Rock”, voted “the best movie of all time in the history of the world” by NATO and the Illuminati, it was said, “sometimes the tree of liberty must be refreshed with the blood of patriots.” Well sometimes the tree of 70sBig must be replenished with the fuel of attitude, with the liquid reduction of our resolve. In the interest of re-focusing ourselves, I charge you to live your life a little more recklessly this next week. Just for a while, think to yourself, “What would Ricky Bruch do?” I assure you, that answer is almost always, “Get extra mayonnaise, lift some heavy shit like a damn boss, and proceed to not give a shit, two monkeys or a damn.” Would Ricky pass up an extra conditioning session? Absolutely not. Would Ricky pass up the 4th steak in 2 meals? Not up in here. Would Ricky wear long, pleated slacks and watch NASCAR drinking a light beer at a tofu tasting party, politely discussing HOA fees? I just got a phone call – the message was, “Ricky Bruch’s estate wants to kill your family for associating his name with that scenario.” It’s that serious.

“But Aaron! I am entrenched in the corporate world; I can’t go stomping around like a heathen, shirtless, scaring the villagers! Also, I don’t know any villagers and my shorts are of an acceptable length for ‘casual Friday’.” Well, first of all, that’s unacceptable. If you say “Casual Friday”, you better be ready for aviator shades and some damn boat shoes. If that’s not the case, it’s time to get your swole back. It’s time to remember who we all are, at our base. Boil us down to brass tacks, twisted steel and ball bearings, and we all realize several immutable, undeniable, irrefutable facts.

We are human. That makes us all physiologically the same, genetically capable of tasks very much the same. If you are reading this saying, “Well, X person is bigger, stronger, I don’t think that’s totally correct…” STOP IT. That’s half the problem. Who’s to say you can’t do anything you want? Me? You? Anyone? What if you just refused to believe impossible things, and simply did them? That wouldn’t make you a superhuman; it would simply mean you refuse to be limited. Do you really have limits? Do you think that’s air your breathing? That’s a Matrix reference. Keep up.

Slap anyone that uses the term “swag”, either ironically or seriously, right in the gob. They know better. Go to YouTube, and look up every video of Leonid Taranenko clean and jerking 266KG, then cook a damn steak and do some mobility. Disagree with someone. Seriously, get into an argument, and instead of worrying how their feelings will recover, wondering how you’ll be viewed, so on and so forth- just disagree. Tell someone they are wrong, and that you don’t agree with what they are saying, and that you won’t be wavering. If the term “agree to disagree” is uttered, wage total war and destroy the room. The world understands. That phrase is about 10% of the problem today. So help me Zeus, if anyone around you says “YOLO” and you do not immediately beat him or her to death, I will find your house and mail you a strongly worded letter.

Here is the hard truth- there are no trophies for 5th place, no consolation prize in real life. It does pay to be a winner, and too often in today’s environment it has become acceptable to trivialize a loss, to rationalize poor effort, to soften heartbreak. Well I am here to call bullshit. If you work hard, you get rewarded. If you don’t work hard, you lose, and you don’t get a prize for that. I don’t know when ‘Murica, – the home of first place, the inventor of competition for everything, the bastion of bacon-wrapped-filets and filet-wrapped-bacon-filled-deep-fried-chocolate-coated-turducken-sandwiches became OK with second place, but I am here to tell you it stops now, and it stops with each and every one of us. It starts with me, and it starts with you.

So this week, get up early. Stop making excuses for yourself, and stop taking excuses from others. Get to work early. Put out as a friend, spouse, significant other, parent, older sibling, citizen, WHATEVER. Stop living your life only to keep breathing and start attacking it. Look for every excuse to get better, and get nasty about it. Are you a lady that wants to get “more toned” and look “better this summer?” Get your lady parts underneath a damn bar and do something about it right the hell now. The world is, quite frankly, not ready for that jelly, and I want more ladies bootyliscious when the sun shines bright and hot in 3 months. Are you a fella that can grow a sweet ass beard, or at least a somewhat child molestor-ish mustache, yet shave every day? By the light in Kate Upton’s eyes, grow that damn facial hair, and do it while you grill some meat and write out your week of programming. Is there a charity, a group, or an organization that is worthy of your time that you haven’t volunteered for? What are you, some sort of sissy? How about you do the right thing and donate some time to something bigger than yourself.

Look into her eyes!

If you haven’t torn up in the gym, so motivated that you wanted to literally explode into a ball of flame, or flipped a table in public only to be applauded for your gusto, or uppercut a punkass into a bowl of punch at a high school dance lately – well, dammit, now is the time (editor’s note, please avoid high school dances, thank you).

Now is the time we take back that attitude, and seize life by the horns/balls/ovaries. The part you grab isn’t important, the fact remains that we must grab that part by force. It’s time to get that 70s Big attitude back. And the time starts now.

 

Get Your Hands Out of Your Pockets

There are several different things that I’ve responded to this morning that result in today’s post. They all collide into a common theme: people who are unwilling to do what they need to do to be successful.

This is a timely post on 70’s Big. In December I made the point that waiting for the New Year to start a new habit was stupid; “If something is important to you, do it right. fucking. now.” Then I asked everyone to commit to a competition and explained what to do after committing. This is the time of year when gyms swell and nutrition challenges are everywhere.

Yet everyone looks for a short cut. And it drives me fucking insane.

I’m currently reading Arnold Schwarzenegger’s autobiography. I’ve read his previous biography and have always been a fan of his drive and determination. But reading this recent, more in depth life account shows two things: 1) Arnold always did everything he could to achieve his goals, and 2) None of us are anywhere near that level of commitment (including me). Even in the first decade of his acting career he was buying and selling real estate, running his mail order business, and traveled the world to promote every movie he made. He is the epitome of undying motivation.

While Arnold fights to succeed, all of us accept laziness and sloth. When Arnold heard businessmen talking about how hard they worked for 10 or 12 hours, he’d say (and this is a direct quote from the book), “What the fuck are you talking about, when they day has twenty-four hours? What else did you do?”

Right now there are paleo challengers who want to know if they can use artificial sweeteners, there are veteran lifters going to bed late, and there are sedentary people considering exercising but not actually doing it.

These are the same people — some of you, even — that look at someone successful and think, “They are a genetic freak,” or “I wish I could have as much money as them.” And that is such bullshit. I’ve gone on this rant before, but all my life I’ve been accused of using steroids or just having superior genetics, but I’m the one who has squatted every week with hardly any breaks for 12+ years. I’m the one who made the decision to stop drinking soda at 13 years old. I’m the one who felt like shit, but woke my ass up at 7 in the morning or walked into the garage at 10 at night to train. And I’m not even anywhere near Arnold’s motivation!

Write your goals down. What do you want to do? What do you want to be? What do you want to have or know? WHO do you want to be? Do you think squatting 405 is a big deal? Then do it — because I believe every man can squat 405. Do you want to drop your body fat below 15%? Then do it. Anyone can accomplish these basic training tasks. But they are harder than being a slack-jaw piece of shit, they are harder than deciding to eat the candy, and they’re harder than being content with a sub 350 squat.

In last weekend’s seminar I made a reoccurring joke about “the naysayers”, something Arnold has talked about in various speeches. These are the people that think your dreams aren’t possible, that they are too lofty. The naysayers aren’t always out there in the world talking you down. In reality, the naysayer is you.

For gods’ sake, when you have that moment of weakness in managing your time, going to bed, eating the junk food, or going easy in training, have the courage to tell the naysayer —  yourself — to go fuck himself. When you’re done telling yourself to go fuck yourself, stop whining, stand up, and start productively working towards your goals. I leave you with a quote from Arnold:

“When you’re out there partying, horsing around, someone out there at the same time is working hahd. Someone is getting smarter and someone is winning, just remember that.

“You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.”

— Arnold Schwarzenegger

 

 

New Year’s Resolution

November and December represent a time of year when people almost purposely eat unhealthy with the comforting idea that they will rectify all of their bad choices at the start of the new year.

To be clear, I’ve always been a proponent to enjoy your holidays. I hate when these OCD people with borderline food disorders go and tell everyone to maintain a strict diet on Thanksgiving or Christmas. I can’t think of worse advice since this will only develop the person to hate themselves if they do indulge in a Christmas cookie or pumpkin pie. My advice: enjoy the holiday, but keep it controlled acutely and don’t turn “holiday” into “two weeks”.

All of that being said, you might be a person that necessitates an adherence to good nutrition. If you are fat, unhealthy, or ill, then you should make it a point to eat clean, quality foods (i.e. no grains, primarily meat and vegetables, aim to improve insulin sensitivity, etc.). You do not get a reprieve just because it’s Christmas; your health is more important than anything else. It, at the very least, effects not only your enjoyment of daily activities, but your productiveness. If I’m your boss, I want you being alert, energetic, and effective instead of lethargic, ineffective, and in pain.

Nevertheless, everyone provides a mental comfort with the idea that they can dick around towards the end of the year because they’ll “get on the right track” in the beginning of the year. Bullshit. What’s so special about flipping a calendar? If something is important to you, do it right. fucking. now.

It’s one thing to reduce your training frequency on the account of spending time with family, stressing to buy presents, or prepare for a holiday tradition, but if you’re slacking on the account of laziness or the promise that you’ll do better in ten days, then sort your life out. Health should be important to you — and training probably is — so put the emphasis on those things.

I wish I would have written this a month ago, but don’t cripple yourself just because everyone else around you is weak minded. Whatever your “resolution” was going to be — reading more, starting a journal, mobbing more, eating healthier, establishing a training routine, being nicer, learning a new subject — just simply start doing it. If you have logistical limitations that’s fine, but don’t let your mind be the limitation.