Maslow must be bored as shit at work, because he always sends me pretty awesome links. He sent me a list of Top 30 Jacked NFL Players. I thought it was a decent list but it seems they were just looking at muscularity. Reggie Bush, for example, shouldn’t fucking be on the list.
Here are my impressions as I looked at the list:

– I bet standing next to Mike Sellers makes you feel small
– Bob Sanders is a good athlete, but I wouldn’t consider him to be jacked enough to make this list
– There aren’t really any lineman on here, especially D-lineman
– Quincy Black is fucking legit
– So is Clay Matthews, but when you’re black your muscles stand out, so I’ll put a picture of Quincy instead
– MJD is stout as fuck
– Who the FUCK is Igor Olshansky and whose dugan did he fondle to get on this list?
– Joey Porter is a queer. Didn’t he get stiff-armed by Kellen Winslow Jr. when Winslow had two gimp knees and Porter had shit-talked him all week?
– Adrian Wilson, absolute genetic freak
– Tim Hightower could be more impressive. He wouldn’t make my list.
– Connor Barwin would.
– So would James Casey, but that’s enough white players.
– I’ve always thought Ernie Sims was jacked. And a genetic freak.
– Brian Cushing wouldn’t make the list because he’s a dipshit.
– Brady Quinn? Are you fucking serious?
– Patrick Willis is a specimen, but he wouldn’t crack my top 15 (he’s 13 here). Where are all jacked D-lineman (not the fat guys, but the ones who are truly jacked)?
– Of course Peyton Hillis would be here, but it makes me sad because Pat Shurmur is a FUCKING idiot who had Colt McCoy throw the ball 61 FUCKING TIMES and ran Peyton only 10. Peyton will be on another team next year and will kick major ass. It makes me sad.

– Terrell Owens’ half-brother was on my high school team when I was a sophomore. My friends started a joke that my friend Ted slapped him and ran off. Everyone believed it and it was put in the yearbook. Other than that, TO is yawn.
– Reggie Bush in the top ten? This countdown is pathetic.
– Getting better with Brian Orakpo and Greg Jones. Jones is legit top ten.
– Adrian Peterson and Thomas Jones are not.
– LaRon Landry bought his arms on eBay.
– Vernon Davis no, Andre Carter yes. I still would want bigger in the top ten though.
– Thomas Clayton is dece, but #2? C’mon…
– Unfortunately Vernon Gholston doesn’t even qualify as being in the NFL right now. 700 pound squat wasted. But he is more of what I consider to be jacked.

Maybe we should make a list of top 30 yoked NFL players?

Some readers are really interested in what my diet looks like. I’m the first to point out that it’s not perfect (or interesting), but whether or not there is a perfect diet is debatable anyway. I’m 6′ and usually weigh between 210 and 212 pounds. If I had to guess, I’d say my body fat is about 10%, however lower ab veins are said to be visible under 7 or 8%, so I guess I could be as low as 8 or 9%? In any case, my diet and training has evolved to the point that I’m stronger in most lifts than ever (with the exception of squat due to injury and overall body weight loss) while being the most lean and athletic I’ve ever been. Monday I pressed 220×3 on my third triple, and last week I push-pressed 260×2 on my fifth double after clean and jerking up to 315 for three singles.

I don’t really like talking about my training because I don’t like the lack of privacy inherent in a voyeur look at something that takes up a lot of my time (training, eating, recovering, etc.), especially when other aspects of my life will dictate and alter these activities. I’m not so narcissistic (like the late Zyzz) to think anyone really gives a shit anyway. The point is that I’m not that great, but I’m above average in most things to the point where my diet might be relevant. It’s not something that everyone needs to try and emulate, since I think diet is a very individualistic kind of thing, but hopefully you can get some pointers or ideas by looking at it.



My average day involves:
– Water, vitamins, and fish oil
– Fruit and whey protein smoothie
– 6 Eggs and bacon (random carb)
– Random meal (pre-workout is typically whey and random simple carb)
– At least one pound of meat, typically beef with salad and/or sweet potato
– Whey and sunflower seeds or peanut/almond butter
– Fishoil again

There are more specifics, but you can watch the video to hear them. The first three parts are always the same every day with slight variations (e.g. today I had 7 eggs), and the latter meals are variable. I’ll change things depending on if I have a high carb or sodium meal or if I drink a lot of alcohol (which is uncommon). This is sort of the baseline thing I do, and when there are significant perturbations, then I react in specific ways. I don’t shy away from awesome things like bacon cheeseburgers, waffles, or chocolate, but sometimes prepare my day around them or have set reactions to return to normal after eating them. In any case, enjoy the video. Oh, and the it’s kinda long, but it isn’t necessarily boring. Especially the beginning because I had just woken up.

There is a misconception that the latissimus dorsi — commonly referred to as “the lats” — aid in the upward movement of the bar when benching. This has bothered me for a long time, so I have broken this down anatomically to explain why it isn’t the case. We will then learn what the lats actually do during a bench press to be so important.

The Lat
First, we must understand where the lat attaches as this will dictate everything it does. The attachment sites of a muscle obviously don’t change, and the muscle will contract to bring these bones together. It’s pretty easy to discern what actions that muscle causes after knowing the attachment sites (and why you learn bone anatomy prior to muscles, because the markers on the bones are where the muscle’s tendons attach).

The lat attaches onto the spine from the sacrum all the way up to the mid-thoracic spine (the lower it goes the more of an aponeurosis there is, but don’t worry about that right now). The fibers of the muscle angle upward and diagonal from the spine to the humerus (upper arm bone). The fibers cross behind and under the humerus and wrap around it to attach near the crest of the greater tubercle (a name for a mark on the bone). If you want to see the proximal attacchment, then this picture is an anterior (front) view of the humerus, and the lat will wrap around the left side of the picture (where it says ‘surgical neck’) to attach in the area indicated. For those who are kind of confused, just look at the picture below.

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Mondays typically focus on the 70’s Big Female, but this is the next installment of the “Getting Girls to Train” series. Also check out Parts One, Two, and Three.

Actually Getting A Girl To Train

It isn’t easy to get women to start training when their entire lives they’ve been given bad advice and false hopes (don’t believe me? see this). Throughout this series the readers have said, “That’s great, but…how do I get my wife/girlfriend/sister/friend to actually do it?” This post will provide a step-by-step suggestion guide on getting your friend to actually begin.

Before we begin, it’s important to note that the goal of this process is to help a girl train better and smarter while getting better results. You’re supposed to be helping and teaching instead of belittling her current methods, “mainstream fitness, or “society” (we can bitch about this stuff another time). Subtly reply to her doubts and skepticism in a proper, non-confrontational tone. In other words, we aren’t hysterically trying to convert anyone, but instead aim to help.

First, Present the Facts
In order to move onto the “how”, you need to first present the “why”. If possible, suggest that your lady friend read this amiable, friendly letter I wrote (I may re-write it soon to improve it since I wrote it a year ago — I’ll post it here when I do). I originally wrote it for a friend who coaches at CrossFits so that she could show her clients why lifting would be beneficial. Allow me to summarize:

A Summary of Strength Training Benefits for Women

All women go to the gym and workout in order to “tone up”, yet this term actually means getting “lean and strong”. More exercise and less food is not the key to getting “lean and strong”; instead, better and more efficient exercise is key. Strength and high intensity endurance training require an active metabolism to recover from and adapt. The higher levels of metabolism will help eradicate fat. The increases in muscle will augment that metabolism, but don’t worry, with less than 10% of the testosterone that a guy has and makes it IMPOSSIBLE to grow excessive muscle or get bulky. Strength training also produces the sexy, womanly shape that every gal aims for.

Getting stronger and eating a better, protein-filled diet will heighten metabolism, improve the immune system, prevent sickness, eliminate fatigue, and increase bone density. Not to mention it will result in being strong and conditioned to better enjoy an active, healthy lifestyle. Oh, and did I mention getting strong? I know many girls who are stronger than most men, and they are no longer simply “average”.

Notice how that summary didn’t even criticize conventional methods? It may be necessary to explain why not to do cardio for 45 minutes and eat granola for breakfast or elaborate on why protein and squats would help, but let’s keep it simple. Start with the minimum and avoid sensory overload. The above is a pretty convincing claim.

Second, Inspire and Motivate
No, I’m not suggesting you put on a Matt Foley performance, but a little inspiration can go a long way. After explaining the benefits of proper training, your friend may need convincing. Luckily, there are thousands of pictures and videos of great looking women — amateur or professional — who can inspire your friend. By now you’ll have a good idea of what she may aspire to look like, so start with women who fit that type. Obviously I’ve used pictures of Erin Stern recently because she isn’t grossly striated, is incredibly athletic, regularly strength trains (with lots of squats), and even does some versions of the Olympic lifts. I’ve even shown this pictureto a few girls and they are immediately motivated to buckle down and train hard.

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Happy PR Friday
Post personal bests and training updates to the comments.

When Ellee and I went to do the trapeze thing last Friday, there were at least five women who either did marathons or triathlons. They were probably between the ages of 25 and 45 and were all frumpy. One of them was wearing a marathon shirt so one of the girls asked her how many she had done. When she said she had done 32, the girls were impressed, “Oh my goodness! Thirty-two! Wow!”. I rolled my eyes, scoffed, and shouted, “Nobody cares!” (the last two aren’t true).

The world still defines long slow distance events as the premise that defines fitness. This marathoner, this Bastion of Fitness, carried body fat and did not have a healthy complexion. Guess what happened next? When she hopped off the 35 foot high platform to swing on the trapeze and wrap her legs over the bar…she couldn’t. This BASTION OF FITNESS lacked the strength to pull her knees up and throw her legs over the bar to hang upside down. Pathetic, but more so sad.

The 70’s Big community does a pretty good job of not being elitist concerning other forms of training, and I’d like to keep it that way. However it still bothers me when an irrelevant event like marathons are placed on a pedestal. Maybe it’s because everyone can get in their car and drive 26.2 miles and say, “Wow, what if you had to run that?” I guess there really isn’t an opportunity to look at five hundred pounds and think, “What if I had to lift that?” For example, a heavier average male black bear found throughout the U.S. weighs about 500 pounds. If you see one, the first instinct isn’t to wonder if you could lift it. Or if you could out run it in order to survive (you can’t — they can run up to 25 to 30 mph).

It’s pretty unacceptable to not be able to put your legs over a bar and hang upside down. It’s not that this event is particularly specific to any relevant act in life, but the ability to do it should be a base line athletic capability. It’s kind of like PT tests in the military: they shouldn’t be the extent of your physical ability (or the primary measure thereof), but instead should be a minimum capability that someone can do randomly if needed (it’d be better if the events were more specific and relative to the job itself, but that’s neither here nor there).

I honestly feel I could train for a short amount of time and do a marathon. It would fucking suck, but things like that are more of a mental challenge than a physical challenge. The previously mentioned BASTION OF FITNESS revealed that she did a marathon at the north pole. Immediately upon hearing that I wanted to do a weightlifting meet at the north pole. Then I remembered that the north pole is located in the middle of the fucking Arctic Ocean, therefore it’s not possible to claim that you have run a marathon there, much less visited.

I’m just unimpressed with the average marathoner or triathlete. This doesn’t mean I don’t respect the good ones. I have a friend who has been to the Boston Marathon, and we’ve participated in a 1.5 mile run. He fucking smoked me, and I did it in about 10 minutes. But for the average goober, running is not the mark of health, capability, and most importantly, athleticism. But neither is only being able to lift. Play sports, work on agility, sprint around, maintain mobility — do these things so that marathoners don’t have anything on you. Not to mention you’ll actually be able to participate in random trapeze sessions. And bears will high five you.

Edit: I still need to edit/upload Ellee doing the trapeze, but here is my vid.