“I don’t want to sound like a queer or nothin’, but unicorns are kick ass!”
Skinny Guy, I want you to know that I care. I pity you.
I pity your cute little legs and your hunched shoulders. You hunch them so that you can flex your trunk easier in order to continuously flex your abs. A whimsical breeze could hit you at an angle that would knock your shirt clean off! If you can’t dazzle them with size, then cut their pupils with your 1280×1024 resolution abs.
Alas! Your abominable abdominals don’t have much utility outside of a non-hetero vampire movie. But don’t worry, Uncle Justin wants what’s best for you. I want you to be strong so that if when the inevitable zombie outbreak or nuclear holocaust occurs (whichever comes first), then you’ll be of some use to the rest of us.
“How can I do it? I have gone so many years without consuming a solid meal that I don’t know where to begin!” I hear your plight, Skinny Guy. Luckily, mainstream media is here to the rescue. They took time out of their busy schedule of updating us on American Idol and verbally performing fellatio on the head of the state to teach Skinny Guy what to eat.
The bun-free (“so meaty, there’s no room”) sandwich features two pieces of bacon, two slices of melted cheese and “Colonel’s Sauce” – which KFC officials said is a “zesty mayonnaise” — slathered between two chicken filets, either original recipe (540 calories and 32 fat grams per KFC.com) or the slightly slimmer grilled version (460 calories and 23 fat grams).
KFC Doubledown
Look at that, Skinny Guy. This is your density! Or something…
I especially like how the Chicken Ranch Taco Salad at Taco Bell weighs in at 910 calories and is apparently the second most caloric item on the menu. I also love how all of the blogs around the country are flipping their shit over this, as if caloric food is something new. The stupid-ass Huffington Post says they are “going too far” (Fun Fact of the Day: The Huffington Post linked to 70’s Big at the end of last year…well, okay, someone in the comments linked to us, but I found it amusing nonetheless). Everyone will try to shame the KFC, but I will stand against convention and tyranny and say, “Thank you, KFC, for caring about all of the Skinny Guys out there. You make my job easier.”
@ Rygor,
Good things are on the horizon though. Both the Army and Marines have been looking into redesigning their PT Tests. Dont know how theyll end up but atleast they realize they need changing. An interesting thing is to check out the PT Tests from the 40’s. Much higher standards than today’s. Also when I was at the Starting Strength Seminar in February, Rip mentioned that his book Starting Strength had been added to the curriculum or something like that up at West Point. So things are looking up.
To be honest I don’t see what all the fuss about this new sandwich is, like Justin said high caloric food isn’t something new. My favourite has to be the Triple Baconator at Wendy’s. It has nearly triple the calories, fat and just about everything else that are in those chicken sandwiches. No one makes a big deal about that anymore.
I ate a Land, Sea, & Air burger from McD’s the other day. It’s a chicken, fish, and beef patty all in one. Actually didn’t taste that bad.
Dude for the millionth time, women don’t really care about teh abz or whether you’re a behemoth.
I just really appreciate how the 70sbig movement provides as a counterweight against the whole “be super skinny and starve yourself” mentallity that has persisted for the last 15-20 years or so.
Oh yeah and being 200+ lbs doesnt mean you can’t have conditioning. Being stronger has helped me develop the conditioning I need. And it doesn’t involve having my abzzz back; I don’t miss ’em.
Great article. 70sbig.com is my first or second stop next to crossfitfootball.com each day.
Let’s please stop with trying to give us middleweights credibility. There is 70’s Big and there is 90’s Small. That is all.
I have heard all sorts of hodgepodge to include 2000 Fit and 2010 (Twenty-Ten) Toned. Creative, yes, but twisted.
I am 90’s Small. I will not always be 90’s Small, but right now I am. If you are under 200lbs (adult-male status) then you are 90’s Small as well. Don’t worry, we’ll get through this together.
Let me play devil’s advocate here, lol…
What if you are not within the height and weight range to be considered 70s big but your max lifts are better than those who DO meet the requirements?
I don’t believe there is a “height range”.
–A.C.
You’re benching more than Doug Young?
–Justin
@WCM, do you not meet the weight requirement? or the height? or both? Your post leads me to believe that you meet neither requirement. I believe there have been weight requirements stated for people under 5’7, but honestly if you’re lifting heavy, making progress and eating lots who gives a shit?
@SMC, what was the board you linked the article to just out of curiosity?
I just found out a new actor has been cast for the remake of conan the barbarian.
It’s this guy – Jason Momoa http://urie.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/jasonmomoa.jpg
Whilst this one must have got him the part with dem hot abz.
http://www.latinoreview.com/images/stories/articles/jason-momoa1.jpg
Fuck! He looks like the epitome of 90s small, Conan should be 80s big. No amount of Hollywood personal training and photo shopping will compare him to the greatness of Arnie.
Few things about the double down:
-Meal Frequency, meals are too spread out (this sandwich is likely filling and will keep you full for a while)
-Meal quantity, not enough meals throughout the day (I guess this is similar to the first point, but seriously, are you really going to be able to eat 6+ meals per day if you eat these?)
-Food Quality, much “dirtier” than ideal (not extremely relevant for those trying to bulk, but it is a lot of fat and not much protein).
-Food Combinations, lots of competing energy sources in the same meal (it isn’t good to mix fat/carbs/protein in the same meal).
I also found this
He [Momoa] expects to add 10 more pounds of muscle to his frame with help of David Leitch, a stunt performer seen in “The Bourne Ultimatum” and Chad Stahelski, the martial arts stunt coordinator for “The Matrix Reloaded” and “The Matrix Revolutions.”
10 measly pounds! You got to remember this is the guy that crushes your enemies and hears the lamenting of the women!
Truly a travesty.
–Justin
Hey I have a question about my training. I just finished my heavy snatch day and am already into PR snatches every week for my training reps. it was a measly 155x1x5 today. Each of my work reps started with a miss, then I’d get mad and make it. Each of my work reps went that way, miss then make it right away.
Should I not go up as much next week? Or just eat more and sack up a little? Like would that count as missed weights even tho I made all 5 singles eventually?
There is no context to this question. E-mail it if you want help.
–Justin
@ charlie
I am 6’0” 190lbs, so no, I do not meet the “male adulthood/ 70sbig” criteria. I was merely just curious about other readers opinions on the topic.
I have gained 15 pounds in the last couple months, but due to the upcoming basketball league, my conditioning has to get up to par and my weight gain will hold out until the league is over. Following SS and eating a lot food, my lifts have all improved dramatically and i’ve gained good weight.
There is no question here.
–Justin
@Adam:
Yeah, that sucks. Triple H was actually in line to be the new Conan, but was ditched late in the process because they wanted someone more universally appealing. ie, get in all the teenage girls.
Seriously, Conan is supposed to be battle-aged and weathered. Triple H would’ve been perfect, or at least much better than that guy. This is a joke.
WCM,
At least you’re playing basketball and have a somewhat valid excuse for lack of fullness.
Changing Conan from Arnold to this new Chick is like changing oompa loompas from orange to mexican.
what is best in life?
to crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women
I remember Justin saying something in the comments a month or two ago about “the bigger and more traffic this site gets, the more trolls we will have”. Looks like that’s right on. Let’s try not to feed them, even when they make us want to headbutt the monitor.
Whoa…
So… uh, anybody have some epic battles in the squat rack lately?
You know, I like coming here and seeing numbers.
And talk of gaining raw, iron-dominating, earth-shaking strength. And witty, entrancing anecdotes about mythical lifters and legendary coaches.
And mutual encouragement and congratulations for feats achieved.
And generally anything that conjures images of chalk dust, barbells wobbling under gargantuan heaps of iron, and strong, determined people roaring with effort through the last rep of the last set.
This place is usually really good for that. I know the title of this site is 70s Big and that it’s meant to be not only a forum for discussing strength training, but also certain aspects of lifestyle… but I feel that the whole 90s small/70s big/pop culture discussion loses relevance very quickly when discussed in anything more than an indirect and/or tongue-in-cheek manner.
Strength, not image…
Good point.
–Justin
So to change to a lighter note…did anyone else read in PL USA this last month (March issue I believe) about Vince Anello going for his 3rd attempt on deads at the ’76 worlds?
He called for 820, a weight he was very confident in…it was a fucking grind. And as many of us know, he was a rounded back deadlift king. Must have been ugly. But he got it. Turns out the bar was misloaded to 880…880 fucking pounds.
He was a 198 competitor for those that didn’t know. And I’m pretty confident most of us here would consider him 70’s Big even though he was 2lbs shy when weighing in. So see little guys, we don’t think you are useless (especially when deadlifting over 4x BW). We still love you, we give you good natured shit.
First of all, got a good laugh out of Sami’s rage. It’s not like the 70s big concept is so complicated I don’t get it. AC made a good point and I think this site does help people in a generally good way. It’s hard to tell what’s humor and what’s not via the internet but anyway, good luck to everyone in their lifting, I hope you get whatever it is you’re looking for…
I’m slightly upset that this site has grown in popularity. More hits = good for the founders, but reading half of this shit makes me want to deadlift and squat immediately, then eat in ungodly amount of food. Either you understand what the site/message is about, or you don’t. Maybe the zombies will weed out the dumb ones (and weak ones) soon.
This site has got a bad case of troll madness! Does everyone feel they must impose their view of what they think 70’s big should be? Lighten up people! 70’s big is about lifting weights, eating food and being funny/having a good time doing it. For the record, I do realize that I’m a total hypocrite for calling out people on espousing their person view on 70’s Big and then in the next sentence doing exactly that. Whatever. I’m going to use my 70’s Big strength to carry a women home from the bar now.
I’m gonna weigh in with kittenSmash here.
There is a powerlifter dude in my gym.
He is real small in stature.
Two weeks ago he competed in the IDFPA nationals. Broke the Deadlift, Squat and total WDFPA records for the <83Kg class. He did this through getting hell strong and getting his weight down.
I am 102kg and he easily out-squats my tubby novice ass.
I disagree that it is not relevant to 70’sbig but since you clearly don’t care I won’t bother you since you didn’t want to try to understand my concerns in the first place.
I still like the blog, I just don’t think you care enough to know how alienating it is.
I will keep future comments nuance free.
We are not trying to alienate people at this site. If you are a skinny young male and you are interested in becoming stronger, then your best interest is to gain weight. Hopefully this has cleared things up for you.
–A.C.
Jesus – will you sun dried turds stop taking everything so seriously.
Alienating? Are you kidding me? This site is a supportive community. Its a big warm hug to kids who are trying to get stronger. Breaking out of the mold that years of marketing and B.S. entertainment have convinced people is correct. Holy shit, just go lift some weights dudes.
Im gonna go squat till my o-ring erupts into little beard covered fists.
Peace, dudes.
Oh Girls, you’re all pretty. Shhhh, it’ll be okay.
meatpotatoe, I don’t consider homo jokes supportive for gay individuals on their quest to 70sbig, that is all. I just wanted to shed some light that that sort of thing gets annoying after all the time.
A.C. Yes, I agree completely and thank you for responding. I approve of scolding skinny young males to become stronger and gain weight. I just don’t agree with the referencing of skinny weak males as homos, even in jest. Gaining weight and getting stronger can take the weakness out of males, but it can’t take out the gayness.
I guess I don’t expect anything to change, I just wanted to voice my concern. Other than that I enjoy the blog and will be buying a t-shirt soon.
I appreciate the agreement, but you are still taking things out of context. The homosexual reference was making fun of those shitty Twilight movies. We are not making fun of homosexuals. You are right about this site not changing. We do not need to appeal to everyone’s feelings. Don’t rock try to rock the boat dude. It’s very unnecessary. There does not need to be any further discussion.
–A.C.
Pingback: HardGainer Development Program Packing On Mass Just Got Easier. | The Best Spa Health
I am not trying to stir up trouble. The comments section is for giving feedback, no? I like the site, that is why I am trying to give constructive feedback. I didn’t think things would get so defensive. I don’t come here just to throw shit around. I wish my concern was better welcomed but I will drop the issue.
Also, any idea when the store will be up and running again? I need to buy bigger shirts soon.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4052/4519099064_1690993563_o.jpg