Testosterone and…

Last night Brent started talking to me about a part of the podcast pertaining to cortisol and ejaculation (primarily masturbation in the podcast). Since we recorded it about three weeks ago, it rekindled his (our?) interest in it. I became interested in seeing what kind of research was done on ejaculation, testosterone, and cortisol. The results are compelling.

First Study: Effects of ejaculation on levels of testosterone, cortisol, and luteinizing hormone in peripheral plasma of rhesus monkeys.

[spoiler show=”Show the details of this study” hide=”Hide the details of this study”]Okay…there’s a lot going on here. Let me highlight it for you.

Mean levels of T and LH did not increase significantly after coitus or in control (no ejaculation) tests, but cortisol levels did in both cases

Oh, okay, that’s kind of interesting. Wait? They got some of the monkeys horny and then didn’t let them ejaculate? Christ, this is worse than water boarding.

In 10 different males, no significant change was found in the plasma levels of T after electroejaculation; but in control tests (electric current withheld)…

Wait, what? Electroejaculation? Lemme wikipedia that shit…OH MY GOD??? First they roofie the monkey, then an “electric probe is inserted into the rectum adjacent to the prostate”. That’s French for “they stick something in his ass” and then shock him into cumming. While this may be regular practice in 47% of Catholic churches, it’s a new concept to me.

The effects on T levels produced by living with sexually receptive female rhesus monkeys may differ from those produced by intimate but brief contact with them.

Well, duh, no dude wants to sleep with his roommate. He hears her sit on the toilet and has to listen to her all day (the reciprocal is also true).
[/spoiler]

Second Study: Factors influencing sexual performance in male rhesus monkeys.
This ought to be good.
[spoiler show=”Show the details of this study” hide=”Hide the details of this study”]

A 5-yr retrospective study of the sexual behavior of eight adult male rhesus monkeys showed that sexual vigor declined over the years but testosterone levels in peripheral vein plasma did not.

No doubt “sexual vigor” has been quantified, but god damn is it weird to imagine unshaven researchers looking in a cage and trying to figure out how sexy this monkey has or hasn’t been lately.

Eight different adult male rhesus strangers-present in the room but not in the test cage-were used as stimuli, one for each experimental test.

Ehhh…they brought in strangers to strip. I bet they wore masks.
[/spoiler]

Third Study: Luteinizing hormone, testosterone, and behavioral response of male-oriented rams to estrous ewes and rams.
[spoiler]If watching a bunch of rams having sex all day wasn’t enough…
“All right, it’s gonna get a little weird. We’re gonna watch gay rams have sex.”
[/spoiler]

Fourth Study: Hormonal changes when falling in love
[spoiler show=”Show the details of this study” hide=”Hide the details of this study”]

FSH and testosterone levels were lower in men in love

Welp, that about settles it, then.

…wait, what was I searching?
[/spoiler]

Fifth Study: A research on the relationship between ejaculation and serum testosterone level in men.

[spoiler show=”Show the details of this study” hide=”Hide the details of this study”]

On the 7th day of abstinence, however, a clear peak of serum testosterone appeared, reaching 145.7% of the baseline ( P < 0.01).

7 DAYS? Maaaan…fucking forget it. [/spoiler]

This comes up when you Google "Testosterone",
I shit you not.


20 thoughts on “Testosterone and…

  1. While 47% more test might sound effective, I think it would hardly be noticeable. The male testes produce, what, 40-70mg of testosterone per week? Now consider how much testosterone an “enhanced” lifter injects per week. I could be wrong but isn’t 300mg per week a pretty low, conservative dose? I’m under the impression that if you’re taking less than this you’re not crossing a certain threshold and you’re pretty much just wasting your money.

    It’s pretty obvious that there isn’t a gram-to-pound relationship between testosterone and strength. Women produce, I believe but could be way off, something like 10X less testosterone than men. Yes, women are generally not as strong but they’re not 10X weaker than men. So I’m under the impression that if you want to see any noticeable change in performance it’s not enough to jack up your weekly test production by 40 or even 70 percent. You’ve got to turn the knob to 11.

    Cool article. The use of those hyperlink tabs was pretty sexy.

    Dude, I don’t even know what you’re alluding to. The whole “worry about T levels when having sex or fapping” is completely irrelevant anyway. Most of these studies are done on animals, and the one relevant study was done on 28 dudes and could hardly constitute a generalization to normal populations.

    Besides, I’m not gonna wait 7 days of no ejaculation, regardless of the mean in which it occurs.

    –Justin

  2. I have a random question as well, what’s the 70’s Big consensus on effective ab training? Is direct work advised? What is usually most effective?

    Typically I’ll recommend weighted sit-ups at the end of training just for accumulated work over time when someone doesn’t have developed thick abs (which occurs with long-term barbell training). I like rotational stuff for the spine, especially for rehab, but that’s more to hit the smaller muscles on the spine as opposed to the transverse abdominis and such.

    Any strength oriented recommendation will NOT be focused on higher repetition type exercises, and some would point out you can get good abdominal work (from an isometric perspective) in gymnastics movements, although I don’t do them.

    I’d stick with weighted sit-ups, GHD sit-ups (carefully and under control, but most people need to progress into this — I know powerlifters at Quest-Athletics.com who do these), or hanging leg/knee raises. I’m experimenting with something and will report back when it’s relevant.

    –Justin

  3. This post was interesting… somehow… I think?

    Ab work: pressing and overhead squats.

    And yes, pressing is one of the best abdominal workouts you can get. I’d include deadlifts in there, but the abdominal work is so much more emphasized with a belt worn correctly. Abs are developed much more efficiently when wearing a belt in lifting.

    –Justin

  4. I’m gonna read this later. After I do…stuff.

    Also, for ab work, put 100lbs on your front squat.

    Ah, yes, front squats. Failed to mention them.

    People in the beginner stage would do well to just get stronger (whilst wearing a belt). However, there is something to be said for the hip flexor work present in some of the movements I listed before. I’d say that they would be more pertinent in sports where sprinting and fast hip movement is prevalent.

    –Justin

  5. Agreed. I do decline situps. And hanging variations to stay pretty, but nothing blows up my trunk (notice I avoided the bad word) like heavy front squats.

  6. Fuck that electro ejaculation probe. I won’t get in to the details but the story ends with I lost a bet and it felt like I was shooting lightning out of my ding ding

  7. 147%? Is that not worth it for the day of a meet?

    You’re under the erroneous assumption that a sample size of 28 dickheads means something.

    –Justin

  8. 1.46 of your normal test is not bad if you only “release the kraken” when you wife or whomever is up for it. Which for a lot of older married guys is only once a week anyway.

    Assuming that value can be generalized in the first place (it can’t). Besides, the tested population is nothing like a training population. Or me.

    –Justin

  9. So only the abstract is available on that fifth study? Perchance I happen to be on day 6…I can wait one more just to say I got there. Then furiously masturbate.

    I laughed.

    –Justin

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