In ‘Merica, the seasons are changing and the sun is warmly shining. Men are supposed to enjoy the outdoors; all things that are important occur under the stars. There’s no sense in not having a delightful little sun bath. Some of you may remember that over a year ago I was minding my own business when a jealous brigand yelled from his motorcar, “GET A TAN, BUDDY!” whilst wearing a wife beater and sporting a sleek, fake tan. I couldn’t have been less impressed.

Meanwhile, this is happening:



What was I saying? Oh, yes. A man should be brawny. Like this:

Not only is it okay for you to have your shirt off outside, but it’s entirely necessary. I never understood the poor souls who wanted to walk around in beautiful weather and NOT feel the breeze against their skin. If you’re self conscious about how you look, then fucking do something about it. Until then, boldly stop giving a shit.

Note: On Urban Dictionary, the definition of “sun’s out, guns out” referenced annoying Italians. If this phrase has anything to do with that shit show “Jersey Shore”, then I am unaware since I don’t watch shitty fucking television.