“Maggie, no!”

Well 70’s Big journeymen (journeywomen?), it is PR Friday. You should post your weight lifted, gained, and/or consumed, and you should also tell us about lifting your lady friends, dumping your skinny boyfriends, or splitting your trousers (I ripped another pair of jeans recently).

And for gods’ sakes, if you are a guy who is 5’7″ or taller and you aren’t 200 pounds, then you better have a compelling excuse as to why you aren’t. The only reasons I can think of are if you are 13 years old or you are a weight class competitor. For gods’ sakes.

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Here is the WFAC post about the Bill Starr Memorial weightlifting meet from last Saturday. It has some pictures, and it has the overall results. Feel free to send in the meet results from any meets you are involved in.
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I have a very good friend named Matt that I met in college. Until recently he was getting paid to tramp through the wilderness (we went hiking near Salt Lake City last year when I was in town for a barbell seminar), and at the end of last year he stopped by Wichita Falls on his journey back to Georgia. Matt called me the other night with a story, as he is apt to do. When he finished, I told him that he needs to type it up for the site.

Well, I’ve read the hell out of Starting Strength and watched the video quite frequently to try and get my technique down, and it sparked quite a dream.

I have been to the Wichita Falls Athletic Club before when I visited Justin in order to start my Jedi training. In the dream, I walked into the gym, and it was just like I remember. It was extremely busy with people everywhere, and Justin greeted me and asked me to work behind a new counter they had built for the purpose of renting out lifting shoes. He was busy training the masses as I settled behind the counter. I hadn’t been standing there ten seconds when I was approached by a visitor, some 90’s small chump who was asking when the next Pilates class was. It is important to note that this guy was: A) not wearing a shirt, B) had the kind of pencil thin manicured beard that says I spend 30 minutes daily “man-scaping”, and C) was wearing sunglasses inside. Throughout the rest of my story I will refer to this man as Din Viesel, because he probably got his style from the “Fast and Furious” movies that he can probably recite.

Note by Justin: I find this humorous, because in order for Matt to dream about a Din Viesel-like character, he would have had to had the image in his brain prior to dreaming it, therefore he actually sat through some portion of that shitty movie.

I had no idea what to say and almost laughed in his face. Rip heard the question and took it upon himself to intervene. I can’t remember all of the conversation, but Mr. Viesel was a complete dick and he decided to buck (I recently learned this word from a 7th grader) at Rip after being informed that they most certainly don’t “do Pilates”. Rip asked Viesel to “Get out of my fucking gym,” in an enraged tone. The conflict now had the attention of everyone in the gym. Suddenly, Viesel tried to throw a haymaker, but Rip didn’t hesitate. He rushed Viesel, picked him up high above his head, then with his supreme power he slammed him into the ground. (Important: I went to High School in Macon Georgia… so I should know the name of this wrestling move, but I don’t). Right after the powerful slam, I immediately woke up, laughing my ass off.

I’ve attached a diagram to better understand the “slam.” This is not my best work, but it took only 5 minutes.

Click for larger image.