Demonic Drivel Dynamically Defies Dudes

“He’s fading. He needs Elvish medicine.”

You’re training hard, right? You go in the gym or garage, do stuff that is hard, and you feel better about yourself. Some times, you may not feel a little tired, but you think, “Man, I don’t want Mark Rippetoe or any of my friends on 70’s Big to call me a pussy, so I’ll train (choo choo) anyway.” And that’s how it goes.

Well, proceed with caution, my friends. Eventually that tired feeling may be a bit more than the “I’m sleepy blues”. You may actually have HIV, or some derivative thereof. Okay, maybe a little less severe, but you may be legitimately sick, and training may even exacerbate your condition.

The other day I had a PR on a sloppy snatch day (that never gets old). I got 127.5, and proceeded to miss 130 three times even though I racked it overhead each time. Later, I was pinned by a 155 kilo clean and was baffled (I’ve done 165 and front squatted 170 for a few triples after training the week before Christmas). Well, turns out I was in the beginning stages of having what I am convinced is some horrific ancient ailment, one that only Elvish medicine can cure. Saturday evening I was on my deathbed for 18 hours with a fever from hell, chills, and had aches and pains that were analogous to getting my ass kicked by fourteen hoodlums that looked like Doug Young.

There were a few hours on Saturday where I felt like I could actually train, but I didn’t because I was busy coaching. Had I done so, it probably would have left me worse off than I eventually was on Saturday evening. Furthermore, I thought I was just having a shitty training session on Thursday, but it was actually the development of the devilish disease that dawned demonically with dastardly defiance.

You will learn through time what the difference is between a sniveling cold that you can train through and dark magic. Accept the fact that you may not know this difference right now, and take caution when you feel a bit under the weather. If you suspect that training will make your condition worse, you have my permission to take the day off. Be careful out there…the world can be a dangerous place.

———-

Do you guys remember that picture of Yosh, the dude who deadlifted 480 at a body weight of 165? Well he weighs 182 now. Partly because he ate 8 McDoubles at once. Jesus, I know. It was 3,120 calories and 176 grams of protein. Nice job, Yosh. You set the bar.

It would have been better if he wrote that in with a marker

8 McDoubles


47 thoughts on “Demonic Drivel Dynamically Defies Dudes

  1. A good rule of thumb is that if you dont have a pulse, a max squat is going to be pretty damned difficult to attempt. All else is personal preference

  2. I””m a fan of the “Work Until Your Body Won””t Let You Get Out Of Bed” philosophy. But I””ve also been told I could be lacking self awareness.
    Feel better Justin.

    Okay kids, I need a little direction.
    I””m training for the Crossfit Games- it””s a good excuse to force myself to get stronger.
    I started a linear progression today- it””s about 12 weeks until the first trials.
    Also today started the 1/2 GOMAD plan (I””m a 5””7″ chick @ 140# a full gallon seemed a little much…)
    I am totally wandering in the dark about the work/eat/rest continuum. Is 2 work sessions approx 11 hours apart 5 days a week too much? I””m eating all I can stand, should I have a number or volume in mind?
    Input is deeply appreciated.

    Hey silly, call me or e-mail me and we can talk about this.

    –Justin

  3. WEird that this post came up today. Last night I was up til 6 in the god damned morning feverish and being harrassed by some alien lifeform struggling to break free of my belly.

    I still trained today and got absolutely owned by the weight. My first set of 130kg squats were brutal from the start and all hell broke loose the fifth rep when I got stuck in the hole and had that shit roll down my backside.

    Press went something like 2,5,3 just complete crap.

    It””s either some kinda demon from the 90””s or maybe too much shitty late night nachos.

    Kill your demon.

    You see? It was a wasted training session that would have probably been better off had you just rested. You are not badass when this happens (using you as an example LaHabra).

    –Justin

  4. Rachel – what are your sessions going to look like? More is not always better, but if it”s just convenient to spread out what would have been one workout into two parts, you might be OK. Still, 5 days a week with lots of heavy lifting is going to be tough, especially if you”re already putting up pretty strong numbers, which make it harder to recover.

    Yosh – awesome. You”ve out-Whataburgered us all.

  5. Great post. Being in the Army I have to do P.T. in the morning for an hour (which usually consists of a gay-ass jog for 3 miles) and then I strength train ar night and sometimes I just don””t fucking feel like going to the gym at 9:30 pm especially when I get up at 4:45 am. But I clean the sand out of my “mangina” and go anyway. General Patton said it best. ” “If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do… the body is never tired if the mind is not tired.”
    -General George S. Patton

    …and so I go on because I still can.

    I hear ya. Being tired is not the same as being infected by Hades.

    –Justin

  6. @Rachel: could you give us more information…What has your current workout routine been? How old are you?
    What sectionals are you going to? How many female athletes will move on from the sectionals to the regionals?

    You asked, “Is 2 work sessions approx 11 hours apart 5 days a week too much?” Are you saying that you want to get 2 workouts in each day, 5 days a week?

    Do you have any old or current injuries?

    Can we assume that if you are serious about competing in the CF Games that you currently have what CF considers “elite” times and numbers in many of their “benchmark” workouts (i.e. Fran, Cindy, CF Total, Grace, etc.)?

    What is your current CF Total: Squat, Press, Deadlift?

  7. @Rachel: that philosophy will lead to injury, CNS burnout, or adrenal fatigue.

    Not enough info to suggest a training program for the Games, but I”ll offer two things.

    First, 3-day linear progression as outlined in Starting Strength will be too much if you”re also conditioning. Consider Justin”s WF program or some other hybrid method. Indeed, if you pick your starting numbers correctly, you won”t be hitting the real guts of linear progression until 5-6 weeks before the qualifiers.

    Second, you don”t have to get in shape for the Games just yet. You just have to qualify. IIRC, you just have to be in the top 30 to get to regionals. That gives you a little more play with my first point according to where your numbers are.

    @Yosh: Nice eating, man. Blakely would be proud.

  8. Sometimes when battling a fever or cold I have the best workouts. Seems like the mind has just turned off and your body runs on instinct.

    Just dont get your workout partners sick a couple weeks before their meet. They will not like you.

    A cold is not a fever. And if you had a serious type of infection then you would not be able to do a body weight squat, much less a stellar training session.

    –Justin

  9. Good post Justin, I find that people seldom make the connection between sicknesses and the training they do. Training is a stress which is cumulative and affects your immune system as well.

    A few years ago I was struck with Community-acquired pneumonia during a heavy loading training phase. It was quick too. I was fine one moment and few hours later I had to go to the ER where I was put on Amoxicillin. This was the heaviest loading I experienced in my training to that point as I just moved to a 5 day/week schedule.

    This happened on a Friday and I was back to training on Monday albeit at a reduced training volume.

  10. i”ve done the 4 doubles from BK on numerous occasions, 8 mcdoubles is mc-pressive though. i once did 2 A1 thick and heartys from the Pyramid of Paradise (i.e. whataburger) and a large chocalate milkshake and thought I was the man…

  11. I bought two of them McDoubles the other day! However as a fat ass I took the top off of one and the bottom off the other and made a McQuad. It was a nice snack after lunch (20 ounces of London Broil and some green beans).

  12. Speaking of yogurt…

    My friend seemed shocked when he found out what my 70”s big diet consists of. He told me to stop drinking milk and explained what his breakfast consists of – yogurt, granola, blueberries. I dont see how someone can function on that. What is that, like 300 calories? Probably explains why his bench has only gone up 5 lbs in 6 months. I guess if hes happy with that than so be it, but I did tell him about the site so maybe someday he”ll convert.

    On a slightly different note…

    Inspired by yesterdays post I just got back from my CFS and egg breakfast. An epic dump is imminent.

  13. Justin timely post. I workout in the morning and today I did not feel like getting up, but I did it anyway and I am glad that I did. I would of felt like a wuss all day if I had bailed.

    Yosh, nice work. I often get the $1 double cheeseburgers x 3 at BK. It is a great quick meal, 75g protein, 1500 calories for $3. I usually drink water with it, what is your view on soda?

  14. Hmm, is the view on injuries/pains in muscles the same here? Was doing a press today and noticed a pain in my left shoulder during warm-up sets. It got gradually moer painful as the weights got heavier so I decided to not do that or the power clean this time and focus on doing the weight I expected to do today next time.

    Is this the right approach?

    It was probably a good idea, but I do not like injury questions in the comments. I will address this in a post. You are welcome to e-mail me or Gant about this.

    –Justin

  15. Hookguy – check Rip”s forum for the Starr rehab method. Be careful with your shoulders. I have at least 2 bad ones. They are real sonsabitches if you let them get out of hand.

  16. msupt – i have been known to crush small children in exchange for the odd Dr. Pepper. God help Seattle if I see a Big Red and something (Space Needle?) is in my way.

    But generally, sodas (and/or fries, IMO) don”t offer shit for nutrition, so use them as an occasional treat, not a side dish. Get more burgers.

  17. Hey Justin,

    This Brent character you mentioned. How strong is he?

    Stronger than most, but likes to piss me off by not doing certain things that would make him stronger (he is a close friend).

    –Justin

  18. @Jacob thanks for that, though this means I will be doing nothing other than trying to heal my shoulder for 2 weeks? I”ve only been working out for 5 weeks so this seems like quite a long time! Won”t all my weights go down?

  19. My sickness rule of thumb is that if its a head cold I lift. If the cold is in my chest I don”t. If its stomach issue I don”t lift. I do not want to have an assplosion in the gym.

    On a side note, its the worst time of the year for gym goers, especially those of us at commercial chain gyms – New Years Resolution time. That means packed gyms filled with new people wandering around aimlessly and waisting your time fucking around on equipment. I rest easy knowing 99% of them will be gone by next month. But it doesn”t make dealing with them right now any easier.

  20. @hookguy: If you are injured, you can”t go. Step back, do rehab, and utilize restorative methods until you”re good to go. Learn to recognize the difference in the various levels of hurt. Be smart.

    You have to live with your shoulders for the rest of your life. Backing off a few weeks to heal them up is the prudent thing to do. CFing will not help them. At all.

    @Jacob: Any more than two and it would get weird.

    @msupt: It depends what your training goals are. Sodas contain garbage calories and, if you get them at a restaurant, garbage corn syrup. If you”re in a crazy anything-goes phase where you need calories, ok (although milk would be better).

    When I”m maintaining or reducing, I don”t drink any calories.

    Sodas are appropriate on three occasions:

    1. When drinking whiskey, drink Coke (nothing worth drinking goes with anything else, although Mountain Dew* and cheap Canadian whiskey have been utilized in a pinch).

    2. When eating ice cream, use root beer or Dr. Pepper.

    3. When eating hot dogs with limited toppings, usually in a picnic setting, drink Sunkist, Nehi, Mello Yellow, Big Red, Welch”s grape, or something similar…or all the above! You must also eat plain potato chips with this.

    *MD is not technically soda. It”s caffeine, and it is necessary for some non coffee drinkers.

  21. @bluecheese: “assplosion” lmfao!

    @gant: have recently experienced the hot dog with limited toppings, and sunkist it was..

    what do you guys think ah da chocolate milk?!

  22. Were the McDoubles crushed for time? I can””t think of a better use for a stopwatch.

    Doing things for time got lame quite a while ago.

    –Justin

  23. First of all: I hope you””re feeling better Justin.
    About a month back you replied to a comment asking about weight goals for us “height challenged” people saying you were going to address that in the near future. Just wondering if I somehow I””ve managed to miss that post or is that something that””s still in the works?

    No. I am a lazy fuck. You haven’t learned this yet?

    –Justin

  24. Not specific to this post, but was hoping the board could help.
    I”m traveling and am in Encinitas, CA for the week. Does anyone know a black-iron or lifter-friendly type gym I could go to while here? Or at least a place with a squat rack?
    Called a Crossfit, but they weren”t keen on someone coming in and doing a workout other than the WOD.

  25. Been lucky with illness recently, considering I work in a swine flu clinic. I””d hate to have been missing training during the meat eating pagan festival sometimes known as Christmas.

    I saw this linked to on the CF forum, seems pretty impressive to me. 462 x 20.

  26. uncle buck I like the idea on the XL milkshake, sometimes I miss the trees in the forest.

    I might just start carrying around a hand mixer and keep some ice cream and milk in my car just in case of a pinch at a friends house

  27. @ Gant and everyone else. Bacardi and diet soda is not the best drink (Jack and Coke is the shit) but it is very low in calories and carbs. Foe guys like me who only want calories to contain protein, any liquid that is not water, a protein shake or milk is a “cheat”.

    I still do drink beer on the weekend if I feel like it though,No real 70”s Big man won”t drink a beer when he feels like it!

  28. @ Dave H

    Thanks for linking that vid.

    I have a friend that is just starting a 20 rep squat routine in hopes of getting 70s Big. I”ll show it to him for motivation.

  29. I got sick last week Tuesday, which pissed me off to no end, cause for one I couldn”t eat which put all my Monday efforts to waste and two cause I couldn”t train Wednesday. I made it to the gym Thursday but it was a shitty workout cause I still wasn”t 100%. Worse yet, I somehow still wasn”t operating at capacity by Saturday, even though I felt fine – maybe the lack of food intake during the sickness set me back. All in all last week was one of the shittiest weeks for training on record for me.

  30. Lazy people who also lift big fucking weights are one of the great mysteries of life!
    I”ll wait patiently for you to get off your ass then, Justin. For something that isn”t squatting 500x1x5 that is.

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