Sun’s out, guns out

In ‘Merica, the seasons are changing and the sun is warmly shining. Men are supposed to enjoy the outdoors; all things that are important occur under the stars. There’s no sense in not having a delightful little sun bath. Some of you may remember that over a year ago I was minding my own business when a jealous brigand yelled from his motorcar, “GET A TAN, BUDDY!” whilst wearing a wife beater and sporting a sleek, fake tan. I couldn’t have been less impressed.

Meanwhile, this is happening:



What was I saying? Oh, yes. A man should be brawny. Like this:



Not only is it okay for you to have your shirt off outside, but it’s entirely necessary. I never understood the poor souls who wanted to walk around in beautiful weather and NOT feel the breeze against their skin. If you’re self conscious about how you look, then fucking do something about it. Until then, boldly stop giving a shit.

Note: On Urban Dictionary, the definition of “sun’s out, guns out” referenced annoying Italians. If this phrase has anything to do with that shit show “Jersey Shore”, then I am unaware since I don’t watch shitty fucking television.

45 thoughts on “Sun’s out, guns out

  1. Maybe it’s time to add some direct calf work?(said tongue in cheek(earmufs))

    Leave him alone. He can’t be blessed with my calves.

    –Justin

  2. i will be spending many a days down at the jersey shore this summer. great beaches. great sights. happy hour. good times

    although, i am still working on my body fat levels and its frustrating to say the least

    I’ve never been to northeast beaches, but I bet they fucking blow. I still love you, SMC.

    –Justin

  3. Summer is generally spent without shirt or shoes unless mowing or in town.

    And I only wear the shorts because I need somewhere to keep the .40

    I found some soffee running shorts. They will be stock attire.

    –Justin

  4. I’ll bet someone got a roundhouse kick to the face the day he was wearing those shorts.

    On Friday it was over 80 degrees and I had some free time in the evening, so I threw on the badass USA tank top I’m wearing in the below video, went to a Mexican restaurant down the street, sat at an outdoor table and ordered two appetizers and two entres. I read a printout of the TM ebook as I ate it all. The food didn’t all fit on the tiny cafe table, so they had to move me to a 4-person table even though I was by myself. I felt like I was embodying the 70s Big attitude at that moment.

  5. When I read “sun’s out, guns out” I grabbed my Sig. After reading the rest I put on my jorts and cut-off Skynyrd shirt.

    You’ll have to explain about the sig. Is it the jersey shore fuck heads? (lack of capitalization on purpose to show lack of respect)

    –Justin

  6. ya sure the suns out but its still like -5c (or 23 american degrees) up here in the great white north…at least I dont have to skip any more….. (rope froze and cracked awile ago it was more like -20c that day)

    Egad, man. Where do you live? Winterfell or beyond the wall?

    –Justin

    I think he lives in Northrend
    –A.C.

  7. northeast beaches are nothing like the beaches in cali and florida, so id agree that they blow. but its the best i can do at this point.

    there is a pretty good bar right on the beach called djais. sunday afternoons are always fun

  8. im a nice cozy little town call Iqaluit, on the southern shore of Baffin island in the Canadian arctic, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iqaluit

    there is one gym, run by volunteers, with one squat rack, 3 bars one is bent causing me to almost lose my teeth well power cleaning the other night, didn’t realize it was the bent bar…and as things warm up rumour is the polar bears are going to start coming into town some time soon.. theres a guns store down the road I think i need to go stop in before the sea ice (yes the ocean is still frozen i was walking on it last night)beaks up and the bears come into town… this place is hard, one needs to be big and strong here or one will not make it… working outside (im a carpenter) with -60c wind chills will bring most any man to his knees never mind a small man!!! thank god food is only 3-4 time more expensive then the rest of north America…

    all this aside ive been here for about 3 months now and its an interesting experience, that being said im looking forward to heading back south in about 2 months..

    This is fucking intense. I want to go. Do they need a few weeks of manual labor?

    –Justin

  9. Sig is a brand of firearms, usually semi auto handguns, like a Glock.

    I know what Sig is, you fiends. I’m asking why he was irritated to the point of pulling one out.

    –Justin

  10. Justin,

    Why the hell are you wearing sunglasses when the sun is behind a cloud? I bet you wear them in dimly lit bars, too. Jerk.

    Love,
    Me.

    Jake, I don’t remember you being there that day, so you don’t have any idea how bright the sky was. So get fucked, bro.

    –Justin

  11. The only way it could be better is if AC had a skullet and a Budweiser in hand.

    Ammendment: I don’t condone drinking such shit beer. It’s merely so he finishes off the hillbilly look.

  12. Justin, I was merely referring to my Sig P250. Not out of anger towards the guidos (not this time anyways), but just because you said, “guns out”, and I like guns.
    But good call on noticing capitalization (or lack there of) as a sign of respect, I do use that (france, usc, etc…).

    Holy shit I’m dense: “Guns out” should have been obvious. I’m still irritated Maslow thought I didn’t know what a Sig was.

    –Justin

  13. Sig Pro is the lamest.
    I have had zero issues with this gun, shoots great, accurate, reliable, good to carry, easy to clean, light trigger…I’m not seeing any problems.

    Shawn is just an asshole. He has been since he was 7.

    –Justin

  14. Nice, Justin with the Game of Thrones reference. I’ll see if I can find any sweet direwolf tshirts to go with stillgrowing’s from yesterday’s comments.

    Also, @littlebigboz, I’ve heard of Baffin Island. It was on an episode of survivorman. holy crap you actually living there. remind me not to make you mad.

  15. A very fitting article for me today as I will be going on a tank top and swimming trunk shopping spree for my weekend rendezvous with the Atlantic Ocean. I’ve been hoping to develop massive enough quads to effect the oceanic tide a la AC.

  16. Damn Floridians. (If that’s not a word, I’m making it up.) If I went out in a pair of speedos here in wonderful England my skin would fall off in shock.

    I went to the beach in early February for the first time, just so you all know.

    –Justin

  17. Don’t let the southern boys talk no shit, hockey and flannel 24-7.

    Flannel is my winter garb. Alas! ‘Tis not winter.

    –Justin

  18. I think it is important to note the difference between North Jersey and South Jersey. North Jersey is basically an extension of New York. South Jersey has a lot of farmland and small towns. While North Jersey is associated with New York, South Jersey is typically associated with Philadelphia. I live in SJ about 20 minutes away from Phila. We all HATE New Yorkers.

    Also, the “Jersey Shore” was always Wildwood, Ocean City, even Atlantic City. I’ve NEVER heard of Seaside Heights or any of the other ‘shores’ they go to in North Jersey and I’ve lived here my whole life.

    All that being said….curls for the girls.

  19. By being a fucking elitist you’re missing out on what is actually quite an “entertaining” show, as Chris describes it.

  20. @ WCM025 – thanks for making a very important distinction. South Jersey is completely different from North Jersey…and a lot better! People always assume I’m from the city when I tell them I’m from Jersey. Where exactly are you from? Salem is my hometown.

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  23. Awesome article. My father set the example for me of going shirtless virtually all the time in the summer. My wife accuses me of not even believing in shirts. We can’t be bashful about showing off our manliness–gotta strip those shirts off. Sun’s out, gun’s out!