Confessions

Posted on by

Confessions of a Recovering Cardio Junkie

By Ellee for the weekly 70’s Big Females installment

Today’s post is not about lifting nor not asses. Sorry. In fact, this message isn’t really intended for the enlightened 70’s Big reader. It’s designed to be an intervention for all the beloved female cardio addicts. I understand that Justin has covered this topic in the past, but perhaps a woman-to-woman talk is in order.

As discussed in previous posts, Cori was groomed from a very early age to be a competitive Olympic weightlifter. I, on the other hand, studied classical ballet throughout my entire childhood and teenage years. In a young girl, this dance training instills agility, discipline, elegance and the desire to be really. really. fucking skinny. As an adult, this desire remained and I turned to hardcore cardio abuse. Diet was definitely part of it, but my appetite for skinny has always been overshadowed by my thirst for beer and passion for baked goods. Quality tapeworms are hard to come by in this day and age, but treadmills are plentiful!

I understand that the upcoming admission may significantly detract from my appeal in the eyes of the 70’s Big community, but I am willing to take the hit for the sake of the greater good. Before I discovered the benefits of the heavy barbell . . . I instructed droves of women in cardio dance classes at big-box gyms across the city of Chicago. In addition to teaching these classes, I would spend 90 minutes everyday climbing the stairmaster only to arrive absolutely nowhere I wanted to be. This type of monotonous, machine-based “training” is miserable and isolating. If you currently have a similar regimen and are not yet prepared to acknowledge that it sucks, you are still in the denial phase.

After keeping up with this horrendous routine for years, I started to look as if I had partied through the decades with Keith Richards. Don’t get me wrong, I love Keith Richards, but his appearance shouldn’t be simulated by any woman. As if looking strung out wasn’t bad enough, I was a total weakling. I attempted to broaden my horizons by attending a yoga class during which we were cued to slowly lower ourselves from the planche position. Naturally, this attempted maneuver resulted in an catastrophic, ego-shattering pushup FAIL. I glared at the instructor with a helpless sort of hate in my eyes thinking “this bitch is specifically and maliciously trying to kill me!” This was rock-bottom. It was time to reassess my training strategy.

Despite my 30’s “Great Depression” weak physique, I was able to pull myself from the Cardio Inferno (it is the lesser known 10th Circle of Hell that is lined with ellipticals and 18 year old trainers selling spray tans). It took some time for the paradigm shift to be fully realized and to unlearn everything that I had always revered as gospel. I am proud to say that I eventually kicked the deleterious cardio habit and have been clean for two years now.

I would now like to take this opportunity to humbly apologize to all the ladies out there. You have been fooled; I was, too. As a group exercise instructor, I never had a diabolical agenda to make you frail and weak. I was simply fed the same pernicious pseudo-fitness garbage that you were. The time has come for you to redirect the energy that you are putting into your current workouts in a way that is actually conducive to getting you the results that you desire. A life spent on those machines is filled with pointless and endless masturbatory pain. And you sure as hell will not be molding the ass you have always dreamed of! Find a good coach and a strong community of supporters that will encourage you along your journey to become a stronger woman.

Females, please comment on how embracing the lifestyle of a beautiful 70’s Big Female has improved you both mentally and physically.
Adult males, please share this post with the ladies in your life. However, I will advise you NOT to attempt to coach your own wives/girlfriends. Such behavior is sure to result in sex-withholding, which is massively detrimental to both parties. Opt for a third-party trainer instead and continue to get your groove on.

Love,
Ellee

Ellee and Cori


35 thoughts on “Confessions”

  1. Aren’t junkies supposed to look strung out and terrible, you look great.

    I guess you missed the part on how that was over 2 years ago.

    –Justin

  2. nice post. I will be passing this on to a few friends who need to hear it.

    I’ve coached my wife some, and have been very happy with how she has picked up the barbell lifts so easily (I wish that I could have learned them as fast as she has). Squatting and deadlifting come naturally to her, and on the first day that she learned how to deadlift, she pulled 135 for a set of 5 without problem! I think I was more excited for her than she was :) I agree that coaching/instructing significant others can be very tricky and can lead to hard feelings. I haven’t ever forced my wife to pick up a barbell or to do other strengthening things. I simply waited until she asked me for advice on what things she could be doing.

  3. I think Adam is spot on. I’ve tried to get my girlfriend to do it but it always turned out bad. I just waited until she started asking for advice on the subject then it really flourished. I’m happy to say that my girlfriend does some good ass squats.

  4. Thank you for this post. I had played sports my whole life, and it wasn’t until late highschool that I began to gain some weight. I was horrified and began running every morning, riding my bike everywhere, eliptical in the afternoons, and another run at night. I did light(compared to now) high rep weight training for the most part. I lost weight but I hated the cardio. But most importantly I was weak.

    Now, all I do is lift heavy weights. There are days I will go for a run, and i like to sit on the bike and watch tv every once in a while but it is weight lifting that is my passion. I am more in shape than ever in my life.

    I wish more women could put aside all the cardio lean muscle nonsense and learn how incredible lifting is for your body. It burns tons of calories too! Stop killing yourself doing cardio and start empowering yourself with heavy weights!

  5. There was a time in my life where I went on a weightlifting hiatus and taught TurboKick, Zumba, Bootcamp, Jane Fonda…etc.etc. The only good thing that came of this was that I was able to update my fitness wardrobe.

    Absolutely NO changes happened in my body – I have photos to prove it. I came out of weightlifting retirement (last August) and BLAM muscles are back, looking and feeling like a rock star. Not to mention I am really strong right now…

    Point is…ladies don’t listen to that cardio garbage. Unless you are eating less than 1,000 cals per day and the only physical thing you can do is punch the air, don’t fucking do it! You are better than that. You deserve better than that. So grab a friend and barbell! Strong is happy.

    Thanks for writing this week Ellee!

    Love,
    Cori

  6. Out of pure curiosity, this is the second female lifter who has recommended against a guy teaching the lifts to his wife/girlfriend–Ms. Badass herself TBone told me this the other day. Why? I had to learn from books/videos on my own and would have really valued having someone around to teach me. There is a right way and wrong way to teach someone to do something. Why wouldn’t it be a good idea to quit the gym membership, buy some weights and a rack and start lifting together at home as long as the girl for her own reasons really wants to get started getting strong and everything is done in a supportive way?

    Because women don’t like their spouse to tell them what to do. You have to be a very good coach to pull this off. Being a good coach requires excellent people and communication skills. Or it requires a very laid back girl, but even then it’s not a given.

    I have pulled it off in the past, but I’m a much better coach than a lifter.

    –Justin

  7. @Maslow,

    I will agree with you here. I have coached multiple boyfriends and as long as they are okay with me picking apart their technique, I see no problems. I think that there can be problems if one/another is not confident and feels like the other is not giving constructive citicism. Then, the training turns sour.

    I will say that in the right conditions, lifting with your partner can be very fun and rewarding. I enjoy coaching and being coached by anyone who can help!! :)

    Cori is the exception; she has lifted seriously the majority of her life. But coaching a guy as a female and coaching a girl as a male are two different things. See my comment above.

    –Justin

  9. I had a lady friend who had gym the same period as me. our teacher was a good teacher and actually made us do power and oly-lifting. after the first three weeks i noticed my friend was developing a very nice booty. i commented on this and told her it was because of the lifting. she said she hated it because it was making her “fat” when in actuallity she had gained muscle and looked the best she ever had. its sad that so many girls these days think that being skinny and sexy are synonymous

    This is an important point; the body perception is still skewed in females who are new to lifting. Thanks a lot, Paltrow.

    –Justin

  10. My woman asked to be shown the ropes, and has progressed incredibly well (far quicker than I did, sadface). It’s important to understand that females can’t be coached / motivated in the same way as males (I may yell “go you fucking pussy!” at my brother, but I’ll say “you can do it” to my girlfriend).

    The only difficult aspect of “training” my girlfriend was convincing her to be patient. It wasn’t really until she has been approaching a BW squat that she started to see definite changes (firmer legs / butt, little biceps bumps, etc.)

  11. Zumba, Turbokick, stair intervals, shallow pushups, quarter squats (138 beats per minute is too FAST for full movements). Held my breath and made a very scary move to Crossfit and was introduced to Olympic Weightlifting. At 39, after two kids I could lift more over my head than I did in my old college volleyball days. Shrunk too. Rounded in the right places. I’ve since put on some fat and frankly think I look better than the cardio days. Still strong as hell. Very important post!

    If women look good to attract men, skinny is not it! I get attention from men all the time and I’m shocked. If you tell them you’re a weightlifter, they are always impressed and turned on. Who. Knew. Keep a kind heart,lift heavy shit and you’re a goddess!

    Bless you Ellee! GREAT post!

  12. Great post! After quitting swimming my junior year of college I filled my time with the stairmaster, elliptical and treadmill and nothing good came from it. A year out of college I was down to 110 pounds (at 5’7”) and the 8 pound dumbbells in the cardio weights class at my gym was “too heavy”. I found Crossfit through a friend and after realizing the sillyness of all that I switched over to SS and am in a much better place. Up to a repectable weight, have a butt for the first time in my life and am no longer embarassingly weak. It really is unfortunate that more women don’t realize what good picking up a barbell can do for them.

  13. I wasted many years running half-marathons, calorie restricting and engaging in all the other dark shit that follows a woman’s pursuit to be as small and frail as possible (thanks Gwyneth). At my lowest point I weighed 100# and still didn’t think I was “skinny” enough. I may have snapped in half trying to back squat the bar alone.

    When I was introduced to the [completely unheard of] power lifting and olympic weightlifting moves through Crossfit, I quickly discovered that skinny NEVER equals strong, and pulled my head out of my skinny-fat ass.

    A lot of bacon eating and heavy back squats have followed since, and I have never felt stronger or sexier. In my mind, I have a very long way to go, but let me just say that even a little bit of muscle goes a looooong way.

    Thanks for this post Ellee! Love the kick-ass, feminine installment on this board…keep ’em coming!

  14. Coaching and lifting with your significant other is not always a bad thing. I taught the barbell lifts to my fiancée and we are workout partners. It is something that we both enjoy to do. We were in the gym working out on Valentine’s Day and she said something like “this Valentine’s Day was the best ever.”

    I didn’t push her to workout, but was always encouraging. She was also a little apprehensive of “turning manly” at first since that is the kind of garbage everyone hears ago or envisions sort of female bodybuilder who takes steroids. But I showed her different books and articles and youtube videos of women about her size in the Olympics or powerlifting who look like women and are incredibly strong at the same time. She really wanted to get into lifting after watching a couple powerlifting meets I lifted in and seeing some of the other girls competing.

    We are both supportive of each other and point out technique issues on each other’s lifts if there are any. We keep comments objective and have a video camera so we can see the replay and see what the other person is talking about. There are occasional emotional times when there are missed lifts for example but we direct the anger towards the bar and not each other.

    I also started out very slowly with her to make sure she had a good foundation. She’s had some previous injuries before. There is a large strength disparity between the two of us but you have to remember that for a tiny girl that it is heavy for her and to keep that into consideration. I’ve seen some guys push their wife/gf/life partner to go very heavy before they really should and it totally turns them off to lifting weights and might get them hurt.

  15. My wife taught me how to snowbaord after everyone and their mother told us not to have a significant other teach it. We had a great time. This could be becuase I’m super laid back, but it could be because she was a kick-ass instructor. I’m looking forward to returning the favor someday with teaching her on the barbell. She’s expresed interest, just waiting for the time to be right. Most important for me will be keeping in mind what Yosh said in the last paragraph.

  17. Love the girl’s touch lately. As the father of 3 young girls I will be absolutely teaching them the fundamentals of getting strong from an early age. Need to take advantage of Title 9 so will lay the groundwork in strength, agility, and let them pick their sports from there.
    Thanks girls!

  18. Started off as a pure cardio freak thinking that was the right way to go then my boyfriend introduced me to crossfit. Never looked back after that! Stopped crossfitting in favour of powerlifting. Was the best thing i ever did and am now british champion in two different federations! Feel a billion times better about myself than when i stuck to cardio and strangely i’m also lighter!
    Because of my fiances amazing coaching skills i have a fab squat, deadlift and bench technique, however, i am partial to throwing a strop and ignoring him at times!

  19. I have had so many arguments with men and women regarding the “benefit” of cardio training. I compete in a weight restricted combat sport, so I perform LSD “movements” strictly to cut weight… but, really, I’ve noticed that I have a better time cutting weight when I’m lifting heavy. Yeah, my friends don’t understand that you can LOSE WEIGHT and get strong at the same time. Huge contributor to weight loss/gain is diet… shouldn’t that be a big duh to society? (rhetorical question)

    I admit however that I’ve found additional help in training distance running… more mental than anything. Probably not a great thing to say on the forums here, but I do feel that combat athletes should be able to run in addition to weight training. Key word- ATHLETES. There’s a bad bad pandemic of sedentary individuals thinking that cardio is the solution to war, famine, and getting fat from McDonald’s.

    But a worse confession- I teach self defense classes at my community college, but now I’ve been given a cardio kickboxing/karate class to teach this summer. :-( Selling my 70s Big soul for the money, I know… but it’s horrible to see how easy it is to market cardio classes to large masses (no pun intended), but legit lifting is left in the dark.

  21. re: Training your girlfriend.

    It took me …several… attempts to finally figure out how to do this correctly. I’d advise any guy tread lightly in this arena. It’s possible, but it ain’t easy.

    Now, teaching them to back-up your boat trailer? Don’t even fucking think about it.

  22. I’ll definitely be passing this on to my wife.

    Justin, this is off topic, but I have a question. The post on gear inspired me to dump my $12 walmart belt and get a real one. I’m getting it from bestbelts, but I’m not sure which one to get. From my standpoint it makes sense to just get the best, thickest one… but I’ve been told that is likely a mistake since I haven’t been lifting very long (still in beginners linear progression.) A longer break-in period doesn’t scare me, I’d prefer to get something I can use for a very long time.

    What do you think?

    I’d recommend getting one that is 11m thick instead of the thickest (13mm). It’ll break in better and be fine. But, I’m basing that on the assumption that the suede will be as good as mine. I’ve seen some belts — the ones Elite FTS was putting out — that weren’t the same quality.

    4 inch belt is standard. I wouldn’t opt for a 13mm unless you’re experienced with belts or a very large man.

    –Justin

  23. @ Abzstrak

    I have a belt from bestbelts.net and I love it. As far as the size goes, don’t worry about what you see on their website, just give them a call. Dean Best makes them all by hand and he’ll help you figure out exactly what you need after some discussion. He made mine 11mm thick and it’s been great so far. I got the “rolled” version that is supposed to be quicker to break in and it only took a few workouts to feel pretty comfortable.

  27. This is a great article. I have never been a cardio junkie but i have been a weightlifting junkie for years and proud of it. And i’ve always wanted someone to tell the women on the ellipticals and treadmills that they can run and ellipt for hours but you’re not building muscle nor toning anything. Don’t get me wrong, cardio is great and should be completed just like squats, bench, and deads..but it should be intertwined with a great lifting program and i find it to be more productive to complete a high intensity sort of cardio. Anyway, my next topic…spouse training. I have been training with my fiance for a long time and i wouldn’t train with anyone else. We have a great “lifting bond” i guess you could say. He is a great motivator and “coach”. Not too mention…it’s sexy as hell to have him screaming at me to get that last rep..or slapping my ass yelling for me to get up on that last squat rep. So, i disagree with the no spouse training. Unless you’re a whiny chick, with a 45# squat, who takes offense when her boyfriend is trying to push her to build a stronger figure..maybe weightlifting isn’t your thing to begin with. If you’re looking for a trainer who’s going to commend weak weights and tell you your doing great…go to the globo gym. Now, get some f’n moto in your system and woman up! Thanks..

  29. Agree 100% on how difficult it is to coach a significant other and have it not lead to disputes or sex withholding. It’s a very delicate balance with a healthy dose of positive energy and reassurance required!

    Oh, and Ellee: LOL @ “30’s ‘Great Depression’ weak physique”. Funny stuff!

  30. Great points here! Although I should point out that I train my wife – she does 100km trail running races, but still does some weight training. Maybe I’m biased – I did 100km trail running races too, but now I’m an Australian Raw Powerlifting champion – I know which body I prefer to have…

  31. Pingback: » Back from the dead » CrossFit NYC

  32. Pingback: Sno Valley CrossFit

  33. Hey Ellee!

    I met you last week at WCCF – I was the chick wearing the “I <3 guys that are 70's big t-shirt."

    Great post! I was a total cardio junkie before I found crossfit. I used to eat Special K and go on the Eliptical for an hour 5-6 times a week – yet I was so frustrated that my body never changed so I would do more eliptical. Talk about a brutal combination!

    My body has never been better since I started lifting and I love it more than anything else. I would choose barbells over treadmills anyday.

    Keep up the great writing and it was so nice to meet you!

    Summer.

  34. Pingback: Thursday 4/28/11 • Derby City CrossFit – Louisville, KY

  35. Pingback: 15Jun11 «

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.