National Bulking Day

Today’s Thanksgiving is an American holiday that is associated with a large feast, football festivities, and generally being thankful. The original holiday didn’t exactly work out like that, and the puritans didn’t dress like Gordons all the time, but it’s too boring to discuss. Instead, let’s talk about the 70′s Big festivities.

I’m sure our international readers have seen what a Thanksgiving meal looks like in the States, but it typically consists of a roast turkey, potatoes, gravy, cranberries, and other assorted dishes (including dessert). We are going to continue the 70′s Big tradition of having a weight gain challenge. Basically contestants will weigh-in pre/post meal and whoever has gained the most weight wins. Skeptical Sallies will murmur that this is promoting unhealthiness. No it’s not, because it’s only happening for one day and it’s fucking manly. Personally, I adhere to the Paleo diet and consider it the ideal way of eating to transition to after establishing good musculature. But if anyone avoids Thanksgiving’s hearty meals on the account of maintaining a Paleo diet, then I think that’s a bit overboard unless the ‘cheating’ will cause diarrhea (and it can). Thanksgiving meals are typically whole foods anyway, so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Let’s discuss the rules.

1. Weigh-ins must be recorded on video with a valid time source. Since you may not have a scale to use at a relatives (better ask), there is no time restriction with respect to the meal.
2. If you are entering the contest, you are agreeing to be honorable. Dishonorable people are fuck-heads, and will probably be found out anyway. Dishonorable doesn’t mean you can’t talk shit to other contestants, though.
3. The same scale must be used in both weigh-ins. This prevents obvious reliability issues.
4. Upload videos to YouTube by 1400 EST on Friday. This should give you enough time and not interfere with family time. Post them to the comments of this post (not the PR Friday post).
5. The title of the video must be “70′s Big Thanksgiving – (Name)” with (Name) being your name.
Failure to comply with any of these rules will result in disqualification from the contest and awarding of the Expert Shoveller’s Badge.

There will be three types of winners, and each winner will get a 70′s Big t-shirt of their choice.
1. Absolute weight gain. Whoever gains the most weight. Period.
2. Percent of body weight gain. Whoever gains the most weight as a percentage of their body weight. This is here because fat guys can lose/gain lots of weight relative to smaller guys.
3. Greatest weight gained in shortest time. This will be measured by the pre/post weigh-in time. Let’s say a guy gains five pounds in 20 minutes…well, that’s a fucking lot of food.
Honorable mention: There may be a prize for the funniest video. I’m the judge of that, so you’ll have to impress me.

Also, Thanksgiving is about being thankful, so go ahead and let us know what you’re thankful for in the comments. I’m thankful for a lot of things, including my family and health — let’s assume everyone is thankful for those things (since not being thankful for those means you’re a god damn serial killer) and talk about other things. I’m thankful for this community. Really can’t say how much of a pleasure it’s been getting to interact and meet a lot of you.

I also have a friend who is going through some chemotherapy, so I’m thankful that they are able to get through the treatments they have experienced so far.

Have a wonderful holiday everyone. I’ll toast one to all of you.